bloody diarrhea asshole

Do you guys think that tile is graphic enough?

Crissy isn’t sure but you have to check this bullshit the fuck out.

It’s 4 am at Crissy’s house and Crissy has been up all night and not even with Homeslice. It was Alice who was clinging to Crissy’s leg and hyper-panting all night only to get up while Crissy was feeding Homeslice to follow Mister downstairs to go outside when she had explosive bloody diarrhea all down the stairs and it was loud you guys and there was a lot of it and when it was all over Crissy was just like “dooooood” and Mister was all “This is so fucking retarded” and then he went to get the paper towels.

And Crissy was just glad it wasn’t on her 1,000 thread count sheets or her favorite duvet from Ikea because her motto is “don’t sleep in a bed full of shit” (sorry bed shitting Queefs, but shitting the bed is just icky) and so that is the good news but the bad news is that Mister had to clean it up all by himself because Crissy was feeding Homeslice but don’t worry. Crissy paid for her comment she made to Mister about being “real sorry (she) couldn’t help clean up the mess, but somebody’s got to feed the hungry baby or she might just starve to death” because at that instant Homeslice barfed all down Crissy’s chestal area.

And Mister actually had the nerve to laugh at Crissy and he went “ha,ha” just like that at her.

What a dick.

And so that is what happened at Crissy’s house at 4 this morning and before any of you Queefs go getting jealous that your life isn’t as fun and glamorous as Crissy’s and that your house doesn’t smell like Satan’s colon just know that at this moment Alice is on Crissy’s bed licking her bloody diarrhea asshole and Crissy is waiting for the Vet’s office to open so she can report to them about Alice’s poopy stomach and Crissy’s asshole already hurts because you know this means Alice needs expensive tests and procedures which Crissy cannot afford because her maternity leave is not paid and if Crissy has to go back to work after only 3 weeks because the motherfucking dog had a dietary indiscretion and ate a fucking diaper or diaper shit or a diaper wipe or some fucking thing and now needs expensive surgery to remove it Crissy is going to be pissed.

Like, epic kind of pissed.

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16 comments

  1. geeze! Crissy, why dontcha tell us how you REALLY feel?

    sorry ya had such a lousy mornin’, believe: we can relate. 🙂

    ..
    .ero

  2. Ugh. What a fun way to start your week. We have three dogs. When they get sick, they pass it around. I have spent more than one week cleaning up diarrhea or vomit every day. It’s loads of fun. Especially because I get the sympathetic pukes.

    Hopefully the week can only improve from here, right??

  3. bloody diarreah does indeed ruin the most average of mornings. I work with The Animals though so Bloody Diarreah is a daily thing for me, and more often than not, I go home smelling like Satan’s Colon. Okay that’s an exaggeration. It ISN’T daily, but it’s pretty gosh darn common. And I avoid as much of the smelly stuff as possibly so I can maintain my sweet smellyness and not smell like a butt.

    Is Alice still eating and drinking okay? I hope that she’s alright.
    .-= CuppyCakes’s last blog post… Hello Lomo. =-.

  4. Ok, seriously. Some sort of diarrhea disease is going around the Intertubes because this is at least the third blog where I have read about crazy cat or dog shitting, and I’m not even counting my cats. WTF.

  5. Is sex for Mister still out of the question? Because, if so, I might just be able to explain Alice’s bloody asshole.

    This is why everyone should have an emergency cleaning lady’s number on their night stand. For late-night bloody diarrhea and booty calls.
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Great Stories of the Bible 3 =-.

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