Do you guys think that tile is graphic enough?
Crissy isn’t sure but you have to check this bullshit the fuck out.
It’s 4 am at Crissy’s house and Crissy has been up all night and not even with Homeslice. It was Alice who was clinging to Crissy’s leg and hyper-panting all night only to get up while Crissy was feeding Homeslice to follow Mister downstairs to go outside when she had explosive bloody diarrhea all down the stairs and it was loud you guys and there was a lot of it and when it was all over Crissy was just like “dooooood” and Mister was all “This is so fucking retarded” and then he went to get the paper towels.
And Crissy was just glad it wasn’t on her 1,000 thread count sheets or her favorite duvet from Ikea because her motto is “don’t sleep in a bed full of shit” (sorry bed shitting Queefs, but shitting the bed is just icky) and so that is the good news but the bad news is that Mister had to clean it up all by himself because Crissy was feeding Homeslice but don’t worry. Crissy paid for her comment she made to Mister about being “real sorry (she) couldn’t help clean up the mess, but somebody’s got to feed the hungry baby or she might just starve to death” because at that instant Homeslice barfed all down Crissy’s chestal area.
And Mister actually had the nerve to laugh at Crissy and he went “ha,ha” just like that at her.
What a dick.
And so that is what happened at Crissy’s house at 4 this morning and before any of you Queefs go getting jealous that your life isn’t as fun and glamorous as Crissy’s and that your house doesn’t smell like Satan’s colon just know that at this moment Alice is on Crissy’s bed licking her bloody diarrhea asshole and Crissy is waiting for the Vet’s office to open so she can report to them about Alice’s poopy stomach and Crissy’s asshole already hurts because you know this means Alice needs expensive tests and procedures which Crissy cannot afford because her maternity leave is not paid and if Crissy has to go back to work after only 3 weeks because the motherfucking dog had a dietary indiscretion and ate a fucking diaper or diaper shit or a diaper wipe or some fucking thing and now needs expensive surgery to remove it Crissy is going to be pissed.
Like, epic kind of pissed.