Okay so today Crissy is going to try and get a little exercise because as you Queefies know, Crissy is usually teetering on the edge of depression and is always just one breath away from cutting a bitch and what she really needs to feel sane is a routine and sunshine and do you know what the weather has done?
It’s rained every damn day for two weeks.
The weather is an asshole.
Crissy finds two straight weeks of rain to be soul crushing and there’s no end in sight. It’s going to keep raining into next week.
This is not good.
And Crissy’s routine is all shaquaed and so she must try to do something before you Queefies read about the QOFE taking people out at the Job Lot or Target or Babies R Us or some shit and so today she will try to get a little exercise.
She’s going to start with this:
And it looks like it’s for pussies but her Prenatal workout totally kicked Crissy’s ass and so she’s hoping she won’t be disappointed this morning.
This could be a very good thing or a very bad thing depending on whether or not her uterus falls out on the living room floor or not because as you know, Crissy’s slave is missing and there’s no one to clean up the mess and so the Crissys will have to move or burn the house down or something if that happens.
We’ll see.
Anyfatass, Crissy is eventually going to work her way up to being A Person Who Turbo Jams
And perhaps even A Person Who Thirty Day Shreds:
And of course she’s got her beloved Baron Baptiste who has been waiting oh so patiently for Crissy to come and make sweet, sweet love to her yoga mat pranayama with him and so there’s that too.
So yes.
Here’s to a successful ass kicking to help Crissy straighten her shit out.
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I am with you sister! I’ve been out of work for 6 months and the pounds have come on. Now that I am working 2 days a week at a job I left two years ago, I am finding it fitting to take those bastardly pounds off. Good luck with the workouts!
the 30 day shred is no joke. I almost died in my attempt to do it.
Good for you for “getting back in the game.” After I had the twins, I was scared to exercise due to having had a c-section. I’m glad the hubs made me get out and walk for 15-20 mins every morning or I’d have never lost that 100 pounds I gained when I was pregnant with them. Good luck!
Zan’s last blog post: Wanderlust
I can’t do cardio in my house. My block is the friggin UN of races that have actual rhythm. As soon as I fail at wiggling my butt they come over and ask me to stop….just stop.
Rachel M.’s last blog post: In honor of my brother graduating college today
I can’t do any of them because I’m a dumbass who injured herself and MrPhysiotherapy will kick my butt if I do anything outside his exercises. And I promptly forget them as soon as I walk out the door to his office.
I want to be a person who 30 day shreds, it’s apparently quite effective for the ass-kicking.
CuppyCakes’s last blog post: I Love Chocolate Postcards.
I’m already exhausted looking at all those workout videos.
Marie’s last blog post: Sleepwalking
the 30 day shred isn’t too bad. at least, not level 1. i haven’t tried turbo jam but it looks terrifying.
Alice’s last blog post: the fruits of my labor
I HATE when it rains like that forever on end. Makes me stabby.
deutlich’s last blog post: Lame.
Everytime I do turbo jam, I fall down and hurt myself. Gay Boyfriend keeps 911 on speed dial when I turn it on.
I don’t think you really want to be a “tubro jammer.”
Hmmm… That sounds like a good porno, doesn’t it?
Chris’s last blog post: someone wrote something better than this
Work it, girl! WEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK IT.
Melissa Lion’s last blog post: If Crissy Can Do It
I agree with Chris.
Turbo jamming sounds kind of like a futuristic porno.
Matt’s last blog post: Will Smith Doesn’t have to cuss to sell recorods
You MUST get a new slave before you do the 30 Day Shred. You will need someone to wipe your tears and pick your uterus up off the floor.
Dingo’s last blog post: Take This Oreo And Shove It
My neighbors watch me do my cardio stuff in the window, then they tell me they watched. Cause that’s not weird.
It sucks to Shred, but it really kicks a persons ass. My daughter will be one in eight days and I’m still like 15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. De-to-the-press-ing.
Even worse, I am going to be in Vegas in less than a month. That means a swimsuit.
At Cesars.
Look out for the great white whale Vegasonians.
Kelly’s last blog post: Crazy Kelly’s – Everything Must Go!
Why on earth the media has decided that women should look like 15 year old boys is beyond me (unless the Catholic Church has their hands in that cookie jar too). I’m all for being healthy, but when I can count the ribs on a woman, that is just wrong. Give me some curves ANY DAY!!!
All I can say is good luck, I am a lazy ass.
so i have every turbo jam dvd known to man and they really are pretty good. not bad music either.
Good for you, Crissy! You’ve got great drive. My son is 6 and I still haven’t comletely lost all the baby weight from him.
Damn that Snickers diet to Hades!!
Akilah Sakai’s last blog post: What’d I Miss??
Don’t let her smile fool you…Jillian Michaels is a sadist…haven’t you ever watched “The Biggest Loser”? If you can keep Homeslice fed and happy, and Girlfriend fed and reasonably entertained (torturing Homeslice doesn’t count), then you’re doing fine. We love you, Crissy!
Isn’t Post-Natal Rescue some medical show on Discovery?
The Post-Natal Rescue DVD seems pretty excellent. Not only does the cover show Erin either imagining that she has a coffee table when she doesn’t or working out while she sits on the goddamn couch, but there is the promise of a special “Cameo by Erin’s husband!” What an awesome selling point! Let us know if that cameo was as good as it sounds.
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