Abby Normal Puts Her Sneakers On

Okay so today Crissy is going to try and get a little exercise because as you Queefies know, Crissy is usually teetering on the edge of depression and is always just one breath away from cutting a bitch and what she really needs to feel sane is a routine and sunshine and do you know what the weather has done?

It’s rained every damn day for two weeks.

The weather is an asshole.

Crissy finds two straight weeks of rain to be soul crushing and there’s no end in sight.  It’s going to keep raining into next week.

This is not good.

And Crissy’s routine is all shaquaed and so she must try to do something before you Queefies read about the QOFE taking people out at the Job Lot or Target or Babies R Us or some shit and so today she will try to get a little exercise.

She’s going to start with this:

And it looks like it’s for pussies but her Prenatal workout totally kicked Crissy’s ass and so she’s hoping she won’t be disappointed this morning.

This could be a very good thing or a very bad thing depending on whether or not her uterus falls out on the living room floor or not because as you know, Crissy’s slave is missing and there’s no one to clean up the mess and so the Crissys will have to move or burn the house down or something if that happens.

We’ll see.

Anyfatass, Crissy is eventually going to work her way up to being A Person Who Turbo Jams

And perhaps even A Person Who Thirty Day Shreds:

And of course she’s got her beloved Baron Baptiste who has been waiting oh so patiently for Crissy to come and make sweet, sweet love to her yoga mat pranayama with him and so there’s that too.

So yes.

Here’s to a successful ass kicking to help Crissy straighten her shit out.

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  1. I am with you sister! I’ve been out of work for 6 months and the pounds have come on. Now that I am working 2 days a week at a job I left two years ago, I am finding it fitting to take those bastardly pounds off. Good luck with the workouts!

  2. Good for you for “getting back in the game.” After I had the twins, I was scared to exercise due to having had a c-section. I’m glad the hubs made me get out and walk for 15-20 mins every morning or I’d have never lost that 100 pounds I gained when I was pregnant with them. Good luck!

    Zan’s last blog post: Wanderlust

  3. I can’t do any of them because I’m a dumbass who injured herself and MrPhysiotherapy will kick my butt if I do anything outside his exercises. And I promptly forget them as soon as I walk out the door to his office.
    I want to be a person who 30 day shreds, it’s apparently quite effective for the ass-kicking.

    CuppyCakes’s last blog post: I Love Chocolate Postcards.

  4. My neighbors watch me do my cardio stuff in the window, then they tell me they watched. Cause that’s not weird.

    It sucks to Shred, but it really kicks a persons ass. My daughter will be one in eight days and I’m still like 15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. De-to-the-press-ing.

    Even worse, I am going to be in Vegas in less than a month. That means a swimsuit.

    At Cesars.

    Look out for the great white whale Vegasonians.

    Kelly’s last blog post: Crazy Kelly’s – Everything Must Go!

  5. Why on earth the media has decided that women should look like 15 year old boys is beyond me (unless the Catholic Church has their hands in that cookie jar too). I’m all for being healthy, but when I can count the ribs on a woman, that is just wrong. Give me some curves ANY DAY!!!

  6. Don’t let her smile fool you…Jillian Michaels is a sadist…haven’t you ever watched “The Biggest Loser”? If you can keep Homeslice fed and happy, and Girlfriend fed and reasonably entertained (torturing Homeslice doesn’t count), then you’re doing fine. We love you, Crissy!

  7. Isn’t Post-Natal Rescue some medical show on Discovery?

    The Post-Natal Rescue DVD seems pretty excellent. Not only does the cover show Erin either imagining that she has a coffee table when she doesn’t or working out while she sits on the goddamn couch, but there is the promise of a special “Cameo by Erin’s husband!” What an awesome selling point! Let us know if that cameo was as good as it sounds.
    .-= stoogepie´s last blog ..Great Stories of the Bible 3 =-.

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