Does Eminem Read Crissy’s Blog?

Crissy is so appreciative of all your cake advice yesterday!  Turns out that Convection is not so great when it comes to cake baking.  Huh.  Crissy is going to give it a whirl on Bake for her dad’s birthday in a couple of weeks and see how we do and you’ll all be waiting on the edges of your seats for the full report.  Crissy is sure of it.

Anywho, you know who Crissy really likes you guys?

Him.

And it’s not that Crissy finds him particularly attractive or anything because we really need to get him some new pants.

It’s just that Crissy thinks he’s brilliant and to be totally honest, that’s the first thing Crissy likes in a boy.

And Crissy laughs right out loud when somebody makes a really good rhyme or a turn of phrase because  she appreciates language and everything and she’s got the student loans to prove it even though she totally disregards the rules and stuff a lot of times because she writes a blog at 6:00 am every day way before she gives a rat’s ass about grammar and punctuation and crap. But really, Crissy cannot tell you Queefies how many times she has embarrassed herself in classes because a particular line or rhyme or whatever struck her as genius and she just busts out laughing and everyone turns around to look at who the big freak is.

Professors and teachers have called her to the carpet on more than one occasion to explain herself and her bizarre reactions.

Crissy does not know why she does this.

But she does.

And so this is why she loves Eminem.  He’s smart and he’s good and he makes Crissy laugh because he comes up with some brilliant stuff.

The problem is Queefies is that Crissy doesn’t know how he would feel if he found out that after dropping her kid off at preschool and flipping off some Escalade driving cunts, some old eternally pregnant librarian mommy is driving  to work listening to him.

(Let’s just take a second to picture Crissy rolling into work singing along with Eminem. See?  Totally incongruous.  Incongruous is a big word.)

Actually, he’d probably be pretty proud of Crissy for flipping off the cunts, but the rest of it?

Crissy is not sure he’d approve.

What if he knew that whilst Crissy was making a My Little Pony cake she was listening to his newest album and laughing at My Mom which goes through Crissy’s head all the damn time now and she can’t seem to shake it.

Crissy guesses it doesn’t really matter because he probably doesn’t read her blog anyway and so he’ll never know.

Or does he???

Nah.

OR DOES HE????

Eminem?

Do you read Crissy’s blog?

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32 comments

  1. At least you wait until you are alone in the car. I have been known to blast Kid Rock while the girls are listening to the dvd. I have the Eminem cd, but haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet.

  2. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but when I saw that movie “8 mile” he was in, I sort of wanted to do him.

    I do heart his new song “We Made You.” In this little podunk town, the ONE radio station plays the same 16 songs all day long it seems. Now this is in the rotation. I like it, but I have a feeling they’ll overplay it and kill it for me like they have so many other songs.

    Can the Queen do anything about getting me a good radio station in town? Or better songs on my iPod shuffle?

  3. I giggle at the video for ‘we made you’…

    and is it just me, or do his eyes look SUPER large in that video? especially at the end where he shrugs and walks away… it freaks me out.

  4. I haven’t heard his new stuff, but always liked his old stuff. Any musician that’s not afraid to ruffle a few feathers, to tell it like it is, well, that musician has my vote. Because, even though I listen to mostly mainstream stuff, I can’t stand what sellouts most of those musicians are (and shame on the record labels for making these talented people sell out).

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Mojo

  5. Im sure he reads this blog…

    I have to say though, I kind of hate his new album. And its not that he has weak rhymes.. it’s that fucking weird voice he raps in nowadays. What is that all about?

    Matt’s last blog post: Will dried up gas work?

  6. Um….I’m Slim Shady?

    I like Eminem’s older stuff….haven’t heard any new stuff….I’m so old..

    I’m still reeling from Flo Rida’s version of “You Spin Me” or whatever the actual song title is. Has anyone heard it? Is anyone else surprised? Has anyone else’s 15 yr old son barrelled into a room singing it at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS thinking ht’s hysterical when my head snaps around like the Excorsist?

    Although, I do have this sick, secret crush on Kid Rock. Oh, and Axl Rose. Seriously!! Did y’all know that he can SING?

  7. I guess we’ll know for sure if he uses “Escalade Pajama Cunts” or “Queen of Fucking Everything” on his next album. But, I’d like to think that Eminem would totally be down with the QOFE.

    I’ve heard alot of griping about his latest album and I think that Em is maybe having some self-doubt and this is his rehab rebound album and that he’ll get back in the groove soon.

    Plus, Crissy is hawt, so I gotta believe Em is diggin’ Crissy!

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: Nice Try, Very Big Bank

  8. Crissy! You are great. Also, I know exactly why you laugh out loud when pleasantly surprised by a good turn of phrase, because I do it too. And if I can be so bold as to make a suggestion to the QOFE, I think you should read Arthur Phillips. He is very good at the English. Example (out of his new book, The Song Is You): “plushly laid and lushly paid” Ha!

  9. I’m always listening to things deemed inappropriate. It makes me feel wicked inside while the outside looks demure. I only wish the men I met knew how wicked I was. Hrmph.

  10. I especially like how in that one song he’s all, “There’s no Mekhi Phifer” because he was in 8 Mile and what-not.

    AND you know he’s got serious street cred, because Detroit is one major shithole.

    Kinda has a penis nose though. My old room mate looks exactly like him. Even dressed all ghetto, because I’m from a minor shithole and all the kids used to think they were gangster.

    Just Kelly’s last blog post: Kelly’s Mom Of The Year Yo!

  11. Weird, I left a comment from home and it’s gone now… Oh well.

    Anyhoozits, I’d say that if Eminem reads blogs then HELL YEAH he reads this one cuz the QOFE is hot!

    I’ve heard the new album is not all that, but I think when you’ve been outta the studio for a while, it takes some time to get your groove back. I dig the video for 3AM. But I’m sortve sick like that…

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: Nice Try, Very Big Bank

  12. I used to sing (rap) along with Eminem while leaving the school…I was teaching at. So, I’d like to think he was proud of me. If he was reading this. Which HE BETTER BE.

    Lauren’s last blog post: I’m Not Fat

  13. If he does not read Crissy’s blog, then he should be! Furthermore, he should be flattered that an eternally pregnant librarian mommy loves him and his music…I’d be. 🙂

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