27
May

Does Eminem Read Crissy’s Blog?

Crissy is so appreciative of all your cake advice yesterday!  Turns out that Convection is not so great when it comes to cake baking.  Huh.  Crissy is going to give it a whirl on Bake for her dad’s birthday in a couple of weeks and see how we do and you’ll all be waiting on the edges of your seats for the full report.  Crissy is sure of it.

Anywho, you know who Crissy really likes you guys?

Him.

And it’s not that Crissy finds him particularly attractive or anything because we really need to get him some new pants.

It’s just that Crissy thinks he’s brilliant and to be totally honest, that’s the first thing Crissy likes in a boy.

And Crissy laughs right out loud when somebody makes a really good rhyme or a turn of phrase because  she appreciates language and everything and she’s got the student loans to prove it even though she totally disregards the rules and stuff a lot of times because she writes a blog at 6:00 am every day way before she gives a rat’s ass about grammar and punctuation and crap. But really, Crissy cannot tell you Queefies how many times she has embarrassed herself in classes because a particular line or rhyme or whatever struck her as genius and she just busts out laughing and everyone turns around to look at who the big freak is.

Professors and teachers have called her to the carpet on more than one occasion to explain herself and her bizarre reactions.

Crissy does not know why she does this.

But she does.

And so this is why she loves Eminem.  He’s smart and he’s good and he makes Crissy laugh because he comes up with some brilliant stuff.

The problem is Queefies is that Crissy doesn’t know how he would feel if he found out that after dropping her kid off at preschool and flipping off some Escalade driving cunts, some old eternally pregnant librarian mommy is driving  to work listening to him.

(Let’s just take a second to picture Crissy rolling into work singing along with Eminem. See?  Totally incongruous.  Incongruous is a big word.)

Actually, he’d probably be pretty proud of Crissy for flipping off the cunts, but the rest of it?

Crissy is not sure he’d approve.

What if he knew that whilst Crissy was making a My Little Pony cake she was listening to his newest album and laughing at My Mom which goes through Crissy’s head all the damn time now and she can’t seem to shake it.

Crissy guesses it doesn’t really matter because he probably doesn’t read her blog anyway and so he’ll never know.

Or does he???

Nah.

OR DOES HE????

Eminem?

Do you read Crissy’s blog?

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