No. Crissy does not want to see your vacation pictures.

Know what Crissy hates you guys?

With the possible exception of vacation from hell stories which can be enormously entertaining, Crissy hates hearing about and being forced to look at pictures of Other People’s Vacations.

And people at work are particularly guilty of doing this.

As if Crissy wants to see and hear about how much fun you were having while she was stuck at work doing her job and yours for two weeks.

Crissy would rather stab her eyes out with a melon spoon from that cruise ship buffet than look at pictures of some people lined up likes pigs at the trough at a table full of bacon and pineapples and shit.

Crissy does not want to hear about the weather.

She does not want to hear about the beaches.

She does not want to see the cheap piece of jewelry you paid way too much for or the coconut you brought back with you or hear about the sketchy shellfish incident that kept you in your room praying for the sweet angel of death for a day and a half. Or maybe she does because an exploding colon is a hell of a lot more interesting than that story about how you forgot your sunglasses at home on the counter and so you had to buy new ones on the trip.

And what really confuses Crissy is how other people can seem so fascinated.

Really?

Who cares?

Crissy doesn’t get it.

And so the next time Crissy asks you how your vacation was, don’t really tell her. Just say it was nice and you relaxed or finally got laid by some dirty foreign hooker or whatever but don’t whip out the pictures because Crissy does not give a fuzzy rat’s ass about seeing you in a bikini that reveals your pubic stubble or one that makes your ass look even bigger than it is.

If that’s even possible.

Okay?

And come to think of it, with few exceptions, Crissy doesn’t want to see any of Other People’s Pictures and it is not lost on Crissy that Mister has a Photo Blog but his pictures are artsy and nice and not retarded and boring. It is also not lost on Crissy that she is always showing you Queefs pictures of her life and her kid and her stuff but the difference is that Crissy does not corner you at work and make you look.

You come on your own accord and Crissy thinks that’s just swell.

And don’t even get Crissy started on pictures of your grandkids because if they’re ugly, Crissy will totally tell you.

What you can show Crissy pictures of are your new house, because Crissy is nosy like that and she wants to see how nice or not nice your stuff is compared to hers, or you can show her pictures of your dog because Crissy loves dogs, and sometimes you can show her your cat because they can be nice and cute sometimes too.

Other than that, don’t show Crissy pictures of anything else unless you’re totally fucking hot and then you can show her pictures of you, but just you.

Not pictures of you and your drunken sunburned friends holding up umbrella drinks.

Are we clear?

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37 comments

  1. FIRST!

    does this go for me too? am i to refrain from showing you pics of my vacation??

    can i show you pics of my genitalia? how about pics of my genitalia with you in the frame too, but you never knew i took a picture?? those are fun.

  2. I work with a lady who goes on 2 or 3 vacations a year and makes us look at about 200 pictures of landscapes! How boring is that?

  3. Pimp- No. I don’t want to see pictures of your vacation either. And as for the genitalia, I’ve seen it enough times. I don’t need pictures. It’s forever burned into my memory just as its product will forever inhabit my uterus.

  4. Tracy- Horrible! You should start bringing in pictures of your toilet and your sink and your closet and whatever random and boring things you can think of to show her. FIGHT BACK!

  5. Rest assured you will NEVER see a picture of me in a bathing suit. I agree, looking at other people’s vacation pictures is one of the most retarded things ever. Just between you, me and the interwebz, who showed you their pictures?

    Lynne’s last blog post: I don’t want to talk about it

  6. MsDarkstar- Video blogging is totally different. You can do that. I’m not much for the readin’ anyhow.

    stealthnerd- No. I’m talking about being cornered at work. Blogs are a whole nuther story.

    Matt- It certainly is.

    k8- They can be, but you know all the guys are going to want your job now, right?

    Lynne- I’ve seen a picture of you in a swimsuit and I must say you’re yummy. It was the volunteers sharing all their recent trips.

    Deutlich- She certainly thinks so!

    Marie- I’ll look then, sure.

    Cassidy- That’s even worse than the medieval theme weddings. Like, way worse.

    Alice- Actually, I’d like to see them too.

    Nilsa- You picked right up on the bitchyness, huh? And I tried so hard to hide it too.

  7. TOUGH SHIT, Sista!! When you get here for the Graduation, I’m going to force you to look at my vacation photos. Oh, and baby photos of Son #1 til current. You think he’s hot, so you’ll LOVE IT…do you hear me?

    And how in the HELL did you get my bikini picture? Huh? I TOLD you you could never bring that out. EVER…EVER.

    Now Mister wont’ think I’m cute………now that he’s seen me almost naked.

    When will you arrive?

    Shelly’s last blog post: My Freak Flag

  8. Vacation-smation. I didn’t get to take one this year, I’m jealous and yup, don’t want to see pictures either. Unless you were in Chicago or San Diego, then I will just cry. On the spot.

    Jealousy is a cold green bitch and well, me too.

    Kelly’s last blog post: Cape Fear

  9. Trust me, me video blogging would be more traumatizing than the bikini picture above. Best leave the booty videos and the vlogging to the beautiful people like you, Crissy. (I tease Mr.POSSLQ and tell him he knows he wants to watch your booty video again… but truthfully, I’m the one who wants to watch it again…)

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: 1026 Days

  10. I’m sure my sister-in-law (Daisee) is going to kill me for linking these to you guys, but here:

    Here’s one of the creepy altar:

    http://mikelewis.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album08&id=altar03

    Marching through a cemetary:

    http://mikelewis.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album08&id=honorguard13

    Bride and Groom:

    http://mikelewis.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album08&id=ceremony28

    Hope the links work. If the laughing fit kicks you into labor, I want a blog in my honor as thanks.

    Cassidy’s last blog post: Madder Hulk get, stronger Hulk become!

  11. As sensors keep rolling out in their varied forms and under the power of varied service providers and system owners, there’s this ominous sense that someday soon, we may never be able to go offline again. ,

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