If Crissy gets arrested for kid porn, she’ll know she’s gone too far this time.

Hey.

No Taco. No matter how hard Crissy squeezed Taco Doctor’s nuts, he still wouldn’t pull the kid out of Crissy. And Crissy tried Queefs, she really did, but apparently this is not the first time he’s encountered a desperate pregnant woman because no word of a lie people, the man was wearing a sports cup.

BUT!

He told Crissy she can drink wine to help her relax and that, friends, was worth the visit and getting the smell of old doctor balls on Crissy’s hands.

So Crissy is going to stop thinking about Taco and constantly scanning her body for any slight twinge of a pang of a labor pain and just pretend she’s not going to be pregnant forever because she’s sick to death of thinking about it and she knows you’re all sick to death of reading about it and so Crissy promises NO MORE TACO TALK UNTIL THE KID IS ACTUALLY HERE.

She’ll tweet, she’ll post it here, and she’ll facebook it when it happens.

Maybe she’ll even live blog the birth.

IF it happens.

Ever.

You know Doosh is too big of a pussy to do that, right?

Of course she is.

Anystubbornfetus, here’s the picture Crissy promised:

_MG_6622-11

The Crissy’s went over to their friends Rich and Michele’s house for dinner on Monday as they are in the habit of doing and Michele made the most wonderful Fish Tacos and one thing led to another and Girlfriend and her bff Alena wound up getting stinking drunk and Girlfriend came stumbling out of Alena’s room, mostly in her nakeds, with the entire contents of Alena’s underpanties drawer on her head.

We are fantastic parents.

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30 comments

  1. i’d like to point out that (much to my disappointment) “fish taco” is NOT a euphemism for pussy…

    obviously GF is my daughter, given her propensity for IPAs.

  2. Hey, I must be a fabulous parent too!! I had one kid come home stinking drunk and barfing after prom, and somewhere in the depths of a drawer, I have a photo of the 2nd kid with underwear on HIS HEAD, TOO!!!! Only he’s like 9 or something. Not 3. Oh, and in that photo, he’s wearing a trash can on his foot. Ah. Kids.

    We must be sisters……..perfect parent sisters.

  3. Congrats!! My son is a little slow, he didn’t get drunk until he was 16!! What a loser! It’s best to start them early, get the liver primed and all.

    Lynne’s last blog post: TMI

  4. I of course can’t see the picture until I get home. So instead I’ll tell you a story about my little sister. She’s about 9.5 years younger than me. I was in band in high school (yes, insert band joke here). She used to come watch practice with my parents while they waited to pick me up. She loved to wear skirts (she begged my mom for a pink leather miniskirt for as long as I can remember). She also used to love to do what girls that age do with skirts – raise them up. So she’s in the bleachers and is shouting “Hey (my name) HEY!” and when everyone looks up to see here, she is lifting her skirt over her head. Yep, she flashed the entire high school marching band.

    P.S. She turned out just fine. So in that logic, so will GF.

  5. Pimp- Should we tell the Queefs that she didn’t really drink a beer?

    Shelly- Girlfriend and Alena both wound up with Alena’s laundry hamper on their heads too.

    Lynne- We’re nothing if not ahead of our time at our place.

    Nilsa- So your love for the sauce started that early, huh?

    Cal- It’s totally perfect, right?

    Daisee- We make her put shorts on under her dresses for that very reason.

    Cuppycakes- Start her on box wine.

  6. Party animal! Girlfriend looks like she’d get along really well with my Punky. He too has an interest in underwear, although he only has access to boys underwear – he’d be saying “pocket in the front” over and over like Rainman…

    Kelly’s last blog post: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

  7. How could that be kiddie porn? Girlfriend is wearing numerous articles of clothing.

    That’s your defense right there.

    Taco. Must mention Taco. So, less than two weeks until Taco appears now, probably holding a beer with a sports cup on his head? Please live blog it with a vidcam.

    stoogepie’s last blog post: StoogeNotes: Nabokov’s Lolita

  8. No worse than the time The Girl thought the glass of scotch on the table was apple juice and took a big drink (and SWALLOWED IT). I was thinking of how I was going to explain to the arresting officer “No, sir, I’ve not had a drop… the 1 year old has had a few belts, though…”

    So, you see, I am TOTALLY not Mommy material.

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: 1026 Days

  9. Remember when we talked about me coming up to hang out with GF so you could get some rest? Well, now that I know that she can drink me under the table while dancing on top of one, I’m definitely putting my visit on your calendar. But I’ll bring my own underwear.

    Dingo’s last blog post: Leggo My Ego!

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