A few weeks ago, the clasp on Crissy’s favorite necklace broke. It’s Grandma Helen’s necklace and it’s very nice and Crissy is wearing it in this picture that was taken yesterday.
Crissy looks like the world’s first pregnant six-year-old but whatever. You can’t really see the necklace very well but you sort of can and the picture is really a desperate ploy to get the Queefs to tell Crissy she’s still pretty and without the large growth on her fronts she looks completely normal and once Taco comes out she’ll be bikini ready immediately. It’s a heart shaped diamond pendant and it’s really, very pretty.
And Crissy just hadn’t gotten around to getting it fixed until after work on Thursday, so based on recommendations from her dad and a co-worker she went to the Jewelry Man down the street from her house to have it done because Crissy is a firm believer in supporting small businesses. And clearly the Jewelry Man must be hurting these days because he buzzed her in before her hand even got to the door.
He was watching the door like Alice watches Frank’s hidey hole.
And as soon as Crissy got into the store and showed him her necklace, he ignored the broken clasp completely and in some sort of thick Foreign Person Slavic accent started telling Crissy that she needed a whole new chain and that the way the pendant is mounted in two segments instead of on a sliding thingy was all wrong and that he’d have to re-build the entire pendant and the whole “repair” job would cost around $400.
And Crissy is just like, WHAT?
So she had to say and say to him “no thank you. I just want to replace the clasp. I like the necklace the way it is” over and over again.
Crissy finally got her point across, but holy crap you guys! He must have seen Crissy coming and popped a big chubby because, admittedly, Crissy was dressed all cute from work, she pulled up in a Saab (albeit an old one) and plopped her very nice purse down on the counter (also purchased pre-Girlfriend and pre-house) and so she probably looked like she had the money.
And also, she must have had a little bit of The Stupid on her from the good citizens of Schmuckytown.
Oh, but nay, nay.
Crissy talked him down to $35 which still seems pricey and still made Crissy’s bummy hole hurt a little bit for a tiny little clasp, but it’s a hell of a lot better than $400 and let Crissy just tell you guys that she wanted to do very bad injuries to him for trying that shit with her, but instead she’s just going to punish him by not bestowing upon him the title of Royal Jewelry Queef and also Crissy’s got a big mouth and a blog and so she’s going to tell everyone that The Jewelry Man sucks.
And when Crissy went to pick up her necklace he made it a point to tell her he was giving her “a major break” on the price and Crissy wanted to tell him she was giving him “a major break” by not ripping his arms off and shoving them up his ass.
He’s lucky Crissy didn’t have Girlfriend with her because you know she would have straightened him out for really.