You know what Crissy is really good at Queefies?
Every night before locking Girlfriend in her cage sending Girlfriend off to Bedfordshire, the Crissys snuggle in Crissy and Mister’s big bed with the fluffy comforter and way, way too many pillows but that’s how Crissy likes it so Mister can just shut the fuck up about it and read a story and then look at one of Girlfriend’s I Spy books.
And you know what you guys?
Mister and Girlfriend suck.
And Crissy doesn’t want to solve the whole picture riddle herself because that’s not nice and it’s no fun for anyone but Crissy and so she just sits there as the thing they’re looking for is about flashing in neon and they still can’t see it! And so Crissy sits there biting her lip and convulsing under the strain of keeping quiet.
Finding stuff is obviously one of Crissy’s many, many natural and innate talents and it’s not limited to I Spy, you know. She’s also very good at finding lost shoes and big giant bottles of ketchup that are hiding rightfuckingthere on the refrigerator door where nobody can see them.
It’s pretty impressive if Crissy says so herself.
So for today, Crissy is going to play I Spy with her Queefies.
Here is a picture of Crissy’s kitchen junk drawer (Don’t judge. You all have one and you know it and Crissy knows it):
To enlarge the picture, click on it, then after it loads you can click on the four-arrow icon in the bottom right to zoom to 100%.
In this picture there are:
A pair of BOOBIES!!!
A fortune telling fish
A maple leaf
Big Pussy’s rabies tag
Woefully underused in the last nine months bottle stopper
The Queef to find all of the goodies in Crissy’s drawer gets absolutely nothing. But if you insist on some sort of reward, you can treat yourself to a nice rub out in the bathroom at work.
Crissy won’t tell.