Who knew there were so many Queefettes out there just like Crissy who are just one more motherfucking beer bottle away from spousal homicide?
Man, we are PISSED!
It warms the cockles of Crissy’s heart, really and she’s glad she brought it up. Crissy thinks it made us all feel a little bit better.
And now on to the post that some of you already read yesterday morning until Crissy pulled it back because combined with the beer bottle rant it was way, way too long.
It made Crissy bored just looking at it.
So this morning (or, er, yesterday morning) Crissy was all set to come downstairs and write about one of many things on her mind that she saw on the Turn to 10 news at 6 with her favorite reporter ever, Frank Coletta.
Crissy is doing a coffee cup salute to you, homeslice!
If you don’t live in RI or mAss, you don’t know what Crissy is talking about.
And Crissy wondered if she should discuss the bank robbing ninja because how awesome is that?
It’s pretty fucking awesome if you ask Crissy.
Or what about the fact that it is LEGAL in RI to practice prostitution indoors. Apparently, if you are out of doors it is not okay so don’t anyone come to RI for a hummer in the park and expect the po-po to tolerate that shit. You have to go inside if you want a hummer.
This is excellent news because just like Crissy has a strict policy against leaving her chair at work, she also has a strict policy against leaving her house because that means she will have to put on a bra and Crissy doesn’t like to do that so if she does lose her job she has another career lined up that is perfectly legal and does not require her to leave her house or put on a bra or even leave her bed.
She may, however, need to get a new mattress but since it’ll be a business expense it won’t be a big deal.
She’s even got an idea!
She’s going to run specials!
Buy nine blow jobs, get the tenth one free! And she’s got all kinds of other fun things like that planned too.
Crissy is a brilliant business woman, obviously.
Crissy also thought about The Craigslist Killerbecause as you know, he was in Rhode Island and as you know Crissy is selling her refrigerator on craigslist (STILL!!! Clearly craigslist shoppers wouldn’t know quality refrigeration if it bit them in the cubes. Get it? Refrigerator, ice cubes? Balls? Hahahahahahaha!!!! No?) and so it could have been Crissy he tried to kill! Thank God they caught him before he could kill Crissy! Of course he was really killing random whores who advertised their “services” on craigslist but you don’t know if he was going to up and decide to start killing pregnant ladies selling refrigerators.
That was a close one, Queefs.
Did you hear that the moron left a trail of cell phone calls, IP addresses, and then kept a pair of panties from each victim in his apartment?
What a douche.
So anyhoodle, Crissy’s got to go start her exercise before she has to get out of the house. She’s doing this one today which at first looks like your mom’s favorite but it’s actually sort of fun:
Plus it’s easy.
Crissy is cheating.