Do you know what today is Queefs?
It’s a day Crissy has been waiting for for a very, very long time.
This very morning Mister is putting the final coat of polyurethane on the hallway floor and in Taco’s room. The last coat has been drying since Saturday morning and it’s finally dry enough for a second coat.
And that means that the plaster/wood dust/paint nightmare that the Crissys have been living in for months now is almost over. There will still be hardships to endure as the Crissys will have to sleep in the Red Carpet Lounge, aka Porn Basement on the pull out sofa tonight and bathe in the laundry sink but that is just fine with Crissy.
And Crissy told Girlfriend and Alice that it’s camping so it’s fine with them too. Those two are always up for an adventure.
Mister has worked his balls off every night and weekend to get this done and finally the Crissys can be a family again instead of disaster refugees and Crissy will post before and after pictures for you Queefs once the whole thing is done.
It will be glorious.
But that’s not what Crissy wanted to talk about today because last night Crissy was watching Deadliest Catch with Mister and it’s one of their favorite shows because the Crissys are seafaring peoples and Crissy has spent many a summer clinging to the mast of her in-law’s sailboat praying to Jesus to save her sunning herself on the deck of her in-law’s boat called the Afterglow (is that not the best boat name ever?):
But it’s been totaled after an unfortunate incident and they don’t have it anymore and Crissy misses screaming and begging the boat not to flip over the sun and sea and hopes they replace it soon.
So clearly, Crissy knows everything about boating now from spending so many summers on the Afterglow and so naturally she knows all about what it’s like being a fisherman on the Bering sea in the freezing cold and that’s why she loves the show but you know what else?
That Mike Rowe is fucking hot.
Crissy could listen to him narrate paint drying and be moist in her panties area for days.
And don’t get Crissy started on Dirtiest Jobs because not only is Mike’s voice hot, Mike is hot too.
Even when he’s covered in pig vomit, Crissy would still lick him from stem to stern (do you see what Crissy did there, Queefs? Stern is a boat word! Crissy is wicked smot).
And he can do a dirty job on Crissy anytime.
And you know what else you guys?
How many dudes do you know who can be elbow deep in a cow’s hey-nanny-nanny and ponder Descartes at the same time?
Not many, and that also makes Crissy’s panties fall off in a big way.
And so this post is dedicated to Mister who is both smart and sexy and is Good With Tools (of every kind, in every capacity, wink, wink) and who has finally made it to the end of his own personal hell, and to Mike Rowe who Crissy would very much like to fuck.