Crissy loved all your hair stories yesterday! Sadly, Miss Stephanie doesn’t have an opening until Thursday at 4:00 so we have to wait until then to bring Girlfriend in. Crissy will post some before and after pictures of little Charo for you on Friday.
So, anyways, we have a short post for you today because Crissy for some totally fucked up insane douche reason made an 8:45 dentist appointment for this morning, and she always does that to herself and she’d like to go back in time six months and punch herself in the face for doing it, but her DeLorean is being fixed and so time traveling is right out for today and so she can’t go punch herself in the face and that means she doesn’t have time to write a marvelous piece of genius writing like she always does and so she’s going to leave you with a brief anecdote regarding the dentist and her loathing of going there.
Crissy hates the dentist. She loves her Dr. Ganim because she’s been going to him since she was 3 and he cannot tell Crissy how much he loves to see that little three year old Crissy bring in her little three year old Girlfriend to see him, but she hates having her face touched by anyone, for any reason, and so having someone’s hands in her mouth is just like, forget it.
She’d rather have someone’s hand up her twidget to tell you the truth but that’s not until Friday!
Crissy’s at the stage of Taconess that she gets to be violated weekly to see what her cervix is up to.
But you know what Queefs? At least Crissy’s twidge is getting some kind of action because these days, the only one having any fun in Crissy’s bed is Sookie Stackhouse and even Sookie is getting less and less of it now.
But anyway, Crissy had one tiny cavity once from her graduate school days when she just drank coffee with plenty of sugar in it and smoked cigarettes and beamed around on amphetamines, and alternately, Klonopins all the time and could barely remember to pee never mind brush her teeth three times a day and Dr. Ganim was trying to fill it with some white ceramic-ish substance and when he ever started shooting Crissy up with the numby stuff she freaked out a little bit.
Those needles are BIG you guys.
And when Dr. Ganim was done he said to Crissy, “I have good news, and I have very bad news. The good news is that you’re done for the day. The bad news is that when you decide to have babies, childbirth is much, much worse than this.”
And you know what Queefs?
Crissy would much rather pop a Taco out than have her mouth touched.
So the plan is that when Crissy is out of the dentist she’s going to eat handfuls of chocolates just to spite him.