No sleep makes Crissy boring

Oh Queefies.

Crissy is so tired today and she has a cold.

She didn’t sleep last night at all because Taco had the hiccups and Mister had the taking up 99 % of the bed no matter how hard Crissy tried to shove him back to his side and Alice had The Gas and kept waking herself up and growling at her own ass and today is a very, very busy day of groceries and Target and all sorts of errands to do while dragging a bitchy and uncooperative Girlfriend around with her.

And Crissy tried to paint her toezies this morning but no.  She can reach them just fine but it’s so uncomfortable that she made a mess instead of a pretty and so that makes her lay on her bed and cry for twenty minutes feel even more sad because she’s forced to go to the Stop and Shop with naked toes in front of Vinny and everyone.

Crissy just wants to be pretty and unfettered like she was a long long time ago and so she has decided to run away and never ever come back.

Who’s in?

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  1. Oh, I was so channeling you last night. Because I woke up at 2AM for no reason. And was fretting that the dog had to go out, even though she was sleeping peacefully at the end of the bed. And then I was too hot. And couldn’t sleep. And now? I’m sleepy. Let’s run away and get pedicures. How does that sound?!?

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Dust

  2. I feel you Crissy–I ate 2 Fiber One bars last night in an attempt to lose weight before the doctor. Which may or may not have incited some gastric distress. Right. Now. I must be part sadist.

    The good news? As I writhe in tummy anarchy my toes look fab-o.

    I guess what I am saying is that I could provide the gaseous propulsion to get where ever we are running away!


    I’m afraid my oldest will be a drug addicted, homeless, smelly man instead of gainfully employed and responsible!!!

    I just spilled coffee on myself.

    I straightened my hair today and it’s still not really straight…….

    I CAN’T reach my tosies because I’m just fat—so I’m envious that you can reach yours in the finals preggers stages.

    I don’t have alot of cash on hand,yet need a fabulous graduation present and to buy stuff for a party.

    Where are we going?


    I’d like to come back though. How’s June?

  4. Sounds like you and Girlfriend need to go get yourself some pedis. Whenever I want one all I have to do is give my hubby a BJ and he gives me money for one. Does that make me a whore? Oh well, then I’m a whore with the prettiest toes in town.

  5. I’m in and I don’t care where we’re going. I like Marie’s idea though of a spa day and good food. I’ll even sacrifice myself and drink your share of the wine. Taco’s too 🙂 Just please please please can we go?????

  6. QOFE,

    I just wrote you something on yesterday’s post, which applies to today’s. Apologies for the confusion.

    I hope this does not negatively effect my request to come live with you. I’m just sayin’.

    <3 Kisses OXOXOXOXOXO 4EVA

    MeaganKate’s last blog post: adulthood realized?

  7. I’m in… May looks to be a particularly bad month so running away now sounds like a damn fine idea!

    I’m sorry you’re having such a lousy day. I wish I lived closer, I’d paint your toesies and bake you some cupcakes.

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: TMI Thursday

  8. You guys are totally awesome!! It looks like we’re gonna need a very big bus and a lot of booze for our trip. A couple of beauticians would be good too. Oh, and some Gas-X because apparently Alice isn’t the only one with an issue.

    As it turns out, Girlfriend sensed impending homicide and was actually lovely and well-behaved for our shopping trip. She even got 3 new outfits because she was being so good.

    Thank Jeebus the day didn’t turn out to totally fucking suck.

    Love you all!!!!

    Crissy’s last blog post: No sleep makes Crissy boring

  9. OMG…I just discovered (!) your blog and I’ve spent the last two nights laughing myself to tears and pee drips (thanks a lot, 9 lb baby)! You are awesome! Dooce (Douche…Doosh?) should bow down to you and paint your toes for you! I’d gladly do it except I’m here in Suckytown, Texas and you are there…le sigh.

  10. I can’t paint my own toes, and I’ve never had the preggers excuse. I just can’t get all of the toenail covered without covering the rest of the toe, or spilling the bottle of polish on the cat, or walking through a clump of cathair while they are drying and ending up with toe hair extensions. I just make my man do it for me and then bring me drinks for the next hour or bite the bullet and go to a spa. Where at least they’d rather take a tip than a blowjob.

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