No sleep makes Crissy boring

Oh Queefies.

Crissy is so tired today and she has a cold.

She didn’t sleep last night at all because Taco had the hiccups and Mister had the taking up 99 % of the bed no matter how hard Crissy tried to shove him back to his side and Alice had The Gas and kept waking herself up and growling at her own ass and today is a very, very busy day of groceries and Target and all sorts of errands to do while dragging a bitchy and uncooperative Girlfriend around with her.

And Crissy tried to paint her toezies this morning but no.  She can reach them just fine but it’s so uncomfortable that she made a mess instead of a pretty and so that makes her lay on her bed and cry for twenty minutes feel even more sad because she’s forced to go to the Stop and Shop with naked toes in front of Vinny and everyone.

Crissy just wants to be pretty and unfettered like she was a long long time ago and so she has decided to run away and never ever come back.

Who’s in?

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posted by Crissy in Babymamadrama, Don't Look at Me. I'm Ugly in the Morning. and have Comments (23)

23 Responses to “No sleep makes Crissy boring”

  1. Budagirl says:

    Shoooot, I’m not even pregnant and feel that way today….

  2. Matt says:

    I’m in. Where we headed?

    Matt’s last blog post: All this nice weather made me write a serious post

  3. SoMi's Nilsa says:

    Oh, I was so channeling you last night. Because I woke up at 2AM for no reason. And was fretting that the dog had to go out, even though she was sleeping peacefully at the end of the bed. And then I was too hot. And couldn’t sleep. And now? I’m sleepy. Let’s run away and get pedicures. How does that sound?!?

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Dust

  4. saratogajean says:

    Sounds like Girlfriend needs to learn how to paint Crissy’s toenails ASAP.

    saratogajean’s last blog post: I suck, but I’m back!

  5. rachel says:

    I feel you Crissy–I ate 2 Fiber One bars last night in an attempt to lose weight before the doctor. Which may or may not have incited some gastric distress. Right. Now. I must be part sadist.

    The good news? As I writhe in tummy anarchy my toes look fab-o.

    I guess what I am saying is that I could provide the gaseous propulsion to get where ever we are running away!

  6. Shelly says:

    OOOHHH!! ME…ME…ME

    I’m afraid my oldest will be a drug addicted, homeless, smelly man instead of gainfully employed and responsible!!!

    I just spilled coffee on myself.

    I straightened my hair today and it’s still not really straight…….

    I CAN’T reach my tosies because I’m just fat—so I’m envious that you can reach yours in the finals preggers stages.

    I don’t have alot of cash on hand,yet need a fabulous graduation present and to buy stuff for a party.

    Where are we going?

    p.s.

    I’d like to come back though. How’s June?

  7. Marie says:

    I’m in! How about a full spa day? Get massages, pedis, manis and eat yummy food.

    Marie’s last blog post: Cafe Break

  8. deutlich says:

    count me in

    deutlich’s last blog post: I Hate Dates

  9. Tracy says:

    Sounds like you and Girlfriend need to go get yourself some pedis. Whenever I want one all I have to do is give my hubby a BJ and he gives me money for one. Does that make me a whore? Oh well, then I’m a whore with the prettiest toes in town.

  10. k8 says:

    I’m going to Des Moines this weekend. How’s Iowa for ya?

    k8’s last blog post: Happy Feet Friday

  11. Daisee579 says:

    I’m in and I don’t care where we’re going. I like Marie’s idea though of a spa day and good food. I’ll even sacrifice myself and drink your share of the wine. Taco’s too :) Just please please please can we go?????

  12. SatinBarbie says:

    I’m in!! Where we goin?

  13. Erin B says:

    I’m sorry is all I can think of but, you do get to see the guy with the meat.

  14. Smelly Kelly says:

    I used to have dreams about running away and making a new life, far away. Alone. When I was pregnant with my son. So yeah, must’ve been telling myself something!

    Smelly Kelly’s last blog post: Yo-Yo-Yo Dieting

  15. Melissa Lion says:

    Yep. Been there. I’d just hold up my old jeans and weep. Weep.

    Melissa Lion’s last blog post: I’m Not Meant for High Fashion

  16. MeaganKate says:

    QOFE,

    I just wrote you something on yesterday’s post, which applies to today’s. Apologies for the confusion.

    I hope this does not negatively effect my request to come live with you. I’m just sayin’.

    <3 Kisses OXOXOXOXOXO 4EVA

    MeaganKate’s last blog post: adulthood realized?

  17. MsDarkstar says:

    I’m in… May looks to be a particularly bad month so running away now sounds like a damn fine idea!

    I’m sorry you’re having such a lousy day. I wish I lived closer, I’d paint your toesies and bake you some cupcakes.

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: TMI Thursday

  18. Summer says:

    I’m having a really bad hair day, and I feel bloated. You know what is helping me through it? A cheese coney!

    Summer’s last blog post: My Dog Likes to Party All the Time, Party All the Time

  19. Alice says:

    i’m in, as long as the destination is sunny. or pretty. or has pretty men.

    Alice’s last blog post: bridesmaid dress party!

  20. Crissy says:

    You guys are totally awesome!! It looks like we’re gonna need a very big bus and a lot of booze for our trip. A couple of beauticians would be good too. Oh, and some Gas-X because apparently Alice isn’t the only one with an issue.

    As it turns out, Girlfriend sensed impending homicide and was actually lovely and well-behaved for our shopping trip. She even got 3 new outfits because she was being so good.

    Thank Jeebus the day didn’t turn out to totally fucking suck.

    Love you all!!!!

    Crissy’s last blog post: No sleep makes Crissy boring

  21. Dingo says:

    I don’t care where we go but we must be able to get Real Housewives: New Jersey. How else are we to learn how to live our new lives?

    Dingo’s last blog post: Washed Up

  22. Zandria says:

    OMG…I just discovered (!) your blog and I’ve spent the last two nights laughing myself to tears and pee drips (thanks a lot, 9 lb baby)! You are awesome! Dooce (Douche…Doosh?) should bow down to you and paint your toes for you! I’d gladly do it except I’m here in Suckytown, Texas and you are there…le sigh.

  23. the problem child says:

    I can’t paint my own toes, and I’ve never had the preggers excuse. I just can’t get all of the toenail covered without covering the rest of the toe, or spilling the bottle of polish on the cat, or walking through a clump of cathair while they are drying and ending up with toe hair extensions. I just make my man do it for me and then bring me drinks for the next hour or bite the bullet and go to a spa. Where at least they’d rather take a tip than a blowjob.

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