Crissy had a bunch of things to talk about this morning but what she’s going to talk about instead is Mister and his fucking beer bottles because right now at this very moment Crissy is fresh from yet another argument about them.
You see Queefs, Mister comes home and the first thing he does is pop the cap off a beer. He doesn’t say hello first, he just starts drinking. Clearly, Crissy keeps him pretty happy. And the beer cap falls on the counter, or the floor, wherever and that is where it stays. And when he finishes his beer, he puts the bottle down on whatever horizontal surface is available and goes to get another one.
IN THE KITCHEN!
NEXT TO THE RECYCLING BIN!
But he cannot be bothered to carry the empty bottle with him. Lots of times, he puts the empty bottle next to the recycling bin but not in it.
It’s right fucking there!
And so when Crissy wakes up in the morning and starts her day, the first thing she has to do is clean up the frat house type mess of bottles and bottle caps littering her house.
Now some of you may be asking “why not just leave the bottles for him to pick up himself?” and to this Crissy will say
Hahahahahahahaahah!!! You dumbass!
Mister does not even see the bottles and bottle caps once he is finished with them. It’s like they fall into another dimension that only Crissy can experience and it pisses Crissy off to no end and then there’s a fight which leads to fighting about the dirty sock balls and used paper towels and Kleenex and gobs of ABC Nicorette gum and candy wrappers left everywhere but where they belong.
And Mister tells Crissy that she should count her blessings because he could be out whoring or gambling (?) and so being treated like a hotel maid is pretty good and Crissy should be grateful.
Are you as flabbergasted by this logic as Crissy is?
And Crissy is just saying that if she’s going to take it in the Cheney, he can pick up after himself.
This is what the Crissys fight about Queefs. It’s never about money or getting blow jobs from random students over at the college or anything like that but it still gets ugly around here and if Mister isn’t careful he’s going to find himself with a beer bottle up his ass.
How’s that for taking it in the Cheney?
Knowing him though, he’d probably like it just to spite Crissy.