So Daisee, one of you loyal Queef/stalkers, sent Crissy a link all about how Doosh (or as some people call her, Dooce) is going to be on Oprah or that she was on Oprah or some such nonsense like that.
You guys remember how Crissy beat the pants off Doosh for Hottest Mommy Blogger, right?
(We don’t need to discuss that if she had announced on her blog that she was nominated that she would have slaughtered Crissy to death because not even Stoogie and his magical, magical, oh so large and impressive Stoogie wand could help Crissy then)
And you guys remember how as soon as Crissy got pregnant, Doosh ran out and got pregnant too, right?
And you know her baby is due in June too because Doosh’s ENORMOUS EGO just can’t let Crissy beat her again but Crissy will be victorious because Taco is due first so Pppppptttttttttt! to you Doosh.
So the article Daisee sent Crissy talks about how poor, poor little Dooshy got a little post partum-y and was sad because her husband was at work and she was all alone and lonely with the baby and then she checked herself into the zoo.
Did Crissy ever tell you that Mister went back to work full time only three days after Girlfriend was born and Crissy was all alone?
And nobody came to help her.
And Crissy and Girlfriend were just fine.
That pretty much makes Crissy a Goddess of Motherhood and Doosh a big, giant pussy girl.
Don’t get Crissy wrong now Queefs. She knows post partum depression is real and she is well aware that it can happen to her just as easily as it happens to anyone else and she’s praying to whoever that she doesn’t get it.
It’s just that she’s so much better than Doosh and that’s the point she’s trying to make.
And Doosh wrote a book about her depression because it seemed like such a big thing to tell everyone about how sad she was and how much it sucked ass.
Like we care, Doosh.
Like we care.
But so many people do, and Crissy doesn’t get it because she tried to read Doosh’s blog, she really did and she wanted to like it, but it’s just that it’s so boring.
And they say she makes $40,000 a month doing it.
Crissy made ten dollars last month.
And Doosh isn’t even pretty!
Crissy is way prettier than Doosh and everybody knows that automatically makes her better in every way imaginable.
And Doosh thinks she’s gonna steal Brad Pitt from Crissy too.
Brad is Crissy’s even though she’d really rather have Alex O’ Loughin but now that she knows Doosh thinks the Pittster is sexy, Crissy’s not gonna let her have him.
HAVEN’T YOU TAKEN ENOUGH FROM CRISSY ALREADY DOOSH?
If anyone knows Oprah, (Crissy is talking to you bff Rachel!) please call her and tell her that Doosh wants to be Crissy and that it’s no fairs she gets to be on the show and that Crissy doesn’t. Crissy wants to go on Oprah and talk about being Queen of Fucking Everything and how it pretty much makes her more awesomer than everybody, even Oprah. Crissy will even promise to control her mouth and not say even one naughty word.