The Easter Bunny Cometh

Crissy has had a few email requests for an Easter re-cap and since Extra and Entertainment Tonight haven’t run the story yet, Crissy will just tell the Queefs about it herself.

We had a nice Easter.

Here’s Girlfriend’s portrait,

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or, one of them anyway. It’s not the one we gave out to the family but it’s the one Crissy will show the Queefs mostly because it’s the one she has access to right now. She was very cooperative this year and Crissy just noticed that Giant Bunny’s face is falling off.

Here’s Girlfriend decorating her Easter eggs:

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The apron and chef hat were totally her idea because she knows that a girl must be properly accessorized since you never know when the blood sucking paparazzi is going to show up and take your picture and shout questions out at you about your personal business.

“Hey! Crissy! How does it feel to almost pee your pants every time you laugh, sneeze, or cough? Does that make you feel like an incontinent old cow Crissy?”

And if Crissy weren’t properly accessorized with a gigantic purse full of eleventy million thousand useless random objects she wouldn’t be able to bash those fuckers in the head and knock them unconscious so she can run away.

And here’s a better picture of Crissy at her mom’s house.

Crissy really needs to go see her Shannon and get her hair did, but look at those jumblies!

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Right?

Huh?

The melons on the Easter table weren’t the only melons on the Easter table!

Crissy is also very excited because it’s springtime and that means she’s able to trot out her green plastic necklace once again.

Two dollars she paid for that!

Two dollars!

And here’s Mister’s sister, Cya, and her lady friend, Stacy.

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Which one do you think is Cya and which one is Stacy?

Only a Queef from way back will know the answer to this one.

And here is the goat cheese, walnut, baby spring mix, and strawberry salad Crissy made and it came out great!

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Chopping strawberries and taking spring mix out of a bag and dumping it into a bowl is most definitely Crissy’s forte.

Let’s see Martha Stewart try that shit.

And Crissy supposes that’s it for the Easter pictures and Crissy has to ask you Queefs something.

Oh, and Girlfriend had not one, but TWO Easter egg hunts. One at home and one at Grammy’s house.

When Crissy was growing up, her parents always hid Easter eggs around the house so that on Easter morning Crissy and her brother could wake up and have an Easter egg hunt and then they’d have a huge fight over who hogged all the candy and who took too many and who shoved who out of the way to get to the best stuff first and then somebody always ended up crying and being sent to their room for shouting obscenities or pulling a knife or something on a sibling.

Sigh.

Good times.

And Crissy didn’t know this, but Mister’s parents didn’t do that!

Did yours?

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23 comments

  1. My family has a scavenger hunt to find our easter baskets and then we have an egg hunt (and the eggs have money in them!) My dad makes fun of me though b/c I’m 21 and still get an easter basket and hunt for eggs…

    Jac’s last blog post: TMI Thursday

  2. Our Easter Bunny hid our baskets and after we came home from church (and not before), we were allowed to hunt for them. The Easter Bunny was smart and gave each of us about the same stuff, so as to stave off the fighting and killing and whatnot. I don’t remember if I have ever participated in an actual egg hunt, but that’s mostly because the Bunny brought us baskets full of candy and stuff, so we didn’t really need the eggs. I loved the hunt for the baskets, though.

  3. Not only did I never receive an Easter basket we (my sister and I)NEVER painted eggs or hunted for them.My mom thought Easter wasn’t about real bunnies, it was about mythical Jesus rising from his cave….oh, and I was the kid in the neighborhood who told everyone Santa didn’t exist. We were a very popular family. And, and, we handed out ‘tricks’ for Halloween. No, not that kind. We wrapped rocks in sticky-note paper with ‘ha ha, we tricked you’ written on the outside. I swear it’s all true.

    chicken lips’s last blog post: morning after

  4. My parents didn’t do it. Want to know why? My mom doesn’t do anything that could possibly cause a mess or WORK for her. This includes, but is not limited to: watching my children, watching my dog, holding down a jobby job and really pretty much everything.

    If I were my father I would’ve gone out for cigarettes twenty years ago, never to return again.

    Sigh.

    Kelly’s last blog post: My Little Ice-T

  5. Sorry, I forgot my Easter story in my zeal to get the quiz……..whew…..

    The Easter bunny DID hide eggs. One year, my whole family was visiting us…..my maternal and paternal grandparents and great aunt/uncle.

    My Beautiful Grandma Winnie claimed she didn’t sleep well, EVER. But they couldn’t get her to wake up to help hide the eggs. So Grandma White (mom’s mom) and Grandpa White and Great Aunt Jessie began to hide eggs in the early morning dew.

    Then my dog, Peppy, lifted his leg at each ‘deposit’ and peed on them.

    Memories.

  6. My Easter stuff was never hidden. The Basket magically appeared. I got my last Easter Basket when I was 20. Sadly, it’s one of the things I really miss (not so much the candy, but having someone put together something nice for me).

    LOVE the Girlfriend in her chef’s toque and apron pic!

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: "Tell your people you love them. Now."

  7. Girlfriend is too cute for words!

    I don’t recall Easter egg hunts, only painting eggs, but I remember Halloween hunts around the house when the parents didn’t feel like walking around the neighborhood. My fam was a weird bunch.

    Hey, are the beads around your neck also used in the bedroom?

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post: Sexy Time

  8. For my kids, they wake up to notes from the easter bunny that has them running all over the house finding clues until they finally find their baskets.
    We do an indoor egg hunt every year, but they are color coded. One kids gets primary colors, the other pastels. That way they can’t fight and we can hide them age approprietly (older kid, harder to find eggs).

  9. Crissy, LOVE your shit…no seriously!
    if i lived in schmuckytown we’d be the bestest of friends.

    GF is fricken darling!

    haha, & i cook like you too! open a bag or a box, then spruce it up a bit. martha ain’t got nuthin on us!

    justme’s last blog post:

  10. Girlfriend is ADORABLE in those pictures!

    We didn’t hide Easter eggs, we played hide the matzos for Passover and pretended that it was an Easter egg. My cousin always found the matzos, though, because he’s a ninja or something. I mean, seriously, HOW DID HE NOW THAT IT WAS BEHIND THE BOOKSHELF?!

    Not bitter. Honest.

    Lauren’s last blog post: Open the gates and seize the day

  11. Hi! I haven’t emailed back because I was too busy preparing for two whole days without a child. It takes a lot of preparing and by preparing I mean staring at a wall and daydreaming.

    Ken’s sister is on the left. Not that the other one doesn’t have nice knockers, but Ken’s sister’s knockers are…well…awesome!

    Melissa Lion’s last blog post: San Francisco Open Your Golden Gates!

  12. We lived in the freezing climes of Minnesota, so my mom hid jelly beans in the HOUSE. All our Easter pictures are out on the front porch in the SNOW. And we each had a special egg that she’d hide. We’d find them when they started to stink.

    Nice jugs.

    k8’s last blog post: The Weekend

  13. uhm, i might get laughed at this but… i didn’t know anything about easter and eggs and all the silliness until a few years ago. See, I’m from the deep South (So. America) and there is no such thing as easter egg hunting and whatever else thingies….

    There’s a fasting thing,(I almost say fisting) and JC dying and masses and lotsa praying and I dont remember what else on the easter Sunday. But nothing about eggs or bunnies.

    So yeah, point and laugh at the dirty one (not down there, up here, the face)… I honestly didn’t have any idea about all of it until about 7 years ago.

    BTW, you look glowing in that pic.

    PorkStar’s last blog post: Rolly-polly? Not yet…

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