So most of you Queefs didn’t notice that yesterday when she called the Freebirth peoples crazy bat shit dirty hippies that the actual lezbeefriend of a freebirthing woman from the Discovery Health show reads Crissy’s blog.
Or, well, she used to read Crissy’s blog before Crissy accidentally alienated her.
What are the chances of that?
Apparently, they’re not bad because it happened.
Anyway, Crissy feels sort of bad that she offended the lady because everything Crissy says is in good fun and mostly very bad taste and nothing is sacred here and nothing is safe especially not Crissy who makes fun of herself more than anybody and she isn’t trying to be mean.
Crissy isn’t mean.
She’s rather nice, actually.
Also, Crissy is funny and this is a HUMOR BLOG.
Hence, the funny.
That’s why you love Crissy so much.
Of course it is.
Also you love Crissy’s marvelous buttocks…
And you know that when Crissy says crazy bat shit dirty hippie she means it in the most loving way imaginable.
But this incident has got Crissy thinking about what other types of crazy bat shit peoples must be reading and she’s wondering if she’s about to offend someone else too and that makes her afraid.
Clearly there are no Dirty Foreign People or Woodland Gays or Escalade Pajama Cunts who read her blog because we haven’t heard from any of them yet. Maybe there are lots of dirty people who like to pick their noses and eat it and now they’re mad because Crissy said they’re dirty.
(not for nothin’ but you guys should consider quitting. It’s disgusting.)
And Crissy is worried because she was going to write about Bad, Bad, Very Naughty Pirates who take over innocent ships full of sailors doing filthy things with one another and calling it being Mariners or something carrying supplies to Kenya and whatnot but now she’s not going to because what if one of those pirates is reading her blog right now?
What happens then?
Will they come over to Crissy blog and shout Arrrrggggg! right at her and then take over and all hell will break loose?
WILL CRISSY HAVE TO WALK THE PLANK OVER SHARK INFESTED WATERS???
Crissy is too pretty to walk the plank!
So, um, ARRRRRRGGGG! and everything like that.
And, you know, GO PIRATES!
It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday…
(Crissy is doing the Cabbage Patch for you right now but you can’t see her.)
Crissy didn’t even know that pirates actually existed until yesterday around fiveish and now doesn’t want to risk offending them because they probably read her blog.
And then Crissy thought she’d write about how Coke is now kosher for passover (not that kind of coke, Stoogie. The other kind) and how that must make the Jews wicked happy but who the hell is Crissy to speak for the Jews?
Queefs, Crissy is very confused and a little bit paralyzed by the whole incident and she thinks maybe she should just keep her mouth shut from now on because she just doesn’t know what’s okay anymore if she ever did.
Crissy is thinking that the only way to help her get over this is for the rest of the crazy bat shit lurkers to come on out of the shadows and tell Crissy in very specific terms in what ways you are crazy bat shit so that she doesn’t risk offending you and alienating any more readers.
There’s a space provided below…nobody is here to judge you.