On Friday afternoon Crissy and Girlfriend were in the car on the way to pick Alice up from the groomer’s when Crissy heard an ad on the radio for a local spa and amongst the services offered was something rather curious.
And Crissy was all “WHAT?”
And Girlfriend was all “WHAT MAMA? What are you whating about?”
And then the ad ended and Crissy was certain she heard the whole thing wrong and that she must have inserted vagina into the sentence instead of like angina or foot or something because Crissy is very worried about her little twidget lately and what is to become of it in a couple of months and so naturally she’s a little preoccupied with it. So she facebooked it and some lovely lady wrote back and said Crissy heard it right.
And Crissy is wondering what they do exactly and if she needs to ask for a gift certificate to the spa.
Do they give it a martini, a candlelight bath, and a nice massage?
Crissy thinks her twidget would like that very much.
So Crissy googled it like the nice lady said she should and Crissy is here to tell you that there is such a thing as VAGINAL REJUVENATION.
And it’s totally nuts.
What they do is they take a fucking laser to it!
Close your mouth.
It’s for people who are too lazy to do Kegels and the eventual goal is to make the twidget prettier and tighter but in all the research Crissy did at work on the topic not one website described the actual procedure.
Apparently, it’s that scary.
And so Crissy is thinking they don’t tell you over the Internet because what really happens is they bring Shatner in:
Either that or this dude:
Crissy’s twidge is very, very scared of Robocop and so she thinks she’s just going to go with the old fashioned Kegels and see how we do.