On Friday afternoon Crissy and Girlfriend were in the car on the way to pick Alice up from the groomer’s when Crissy heard an ad on the radio for a local spa and amongst the services offered was something rather curious.
VAGINAL REJUVENATION.
And Crissy was all “WHAT?”
And Girlfriend was all “WHAT MAMA? What are you whating about?”
And then the ad ended and Crissy was certain she heard the whole thing wrong and that she must have inserted vagina into the sentence instead of like angina or foot or something because Crissy is very worried about her little twidget lately and what is to become of it in a couple of months and so naturally she’s a little preoccupied with it. So she facebooked it and some lovely lady wrote back and said Crissy heard it right.
And Crissy is wondering what they do exactly and if she needs to ask for a gift certificate to the spa.
Do they give it a martini, a candlelight bath, and a nice massage?
Crissy thinks her twidget would like that very much.
So Crissy googled it like the nice lady said she should and Crissy is here to tell you that there is such a thing as VAGINAL REJUVENATION.
Right?
And it’s totally nuts.
What they do is they take a fucking laser to it!
Close your mouth.
It’s for people who are too lazy to do Kegels and the eventual goal is to make the twidget prettier and tighter but in all the research Crissy did at work on the topic not one website described the actual procedure.
Apparently, it’s that scary.
And so Crissy is thinking they don’t tell you over the Internet because what really happens is they bring Shatner in:
Either that or this dude:
Eeeeekkkk!
Crissy’s twidge is very, very scared of Robocop and so she thinks she’s just going to go with the old fashioned Kegels and see how we do.
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Um… The surgeon I work for does this thing. Want me to send you a brochure?
k8’s last blog post: On the Road
When I saw that on FB I googled it also. Thank you for not posting the before/after photos that they were so proud of. Not what you want to see first thing in the morning.
Right. Because so many women were wondering – man, losing my virginity was AWESOME. I loved getting punched in the vag. Let’s make that happen again!
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I’m intrigued but don’t think I really want to see closeup twidget shots first thing in the morning. Maybe after a few mojitos some night I’ll get brave and Google it.
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I think I might have seen the tool they use on an Aminus3 site this morning. http://hima-town.aminus3.com/image/2009-04-07.html
They used to call my penis “The Rejuvenator” in college.
And when I say “They”, I really mean I.
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Is this kind of like the show Pimp My Ride, only it’s your actual ride?
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the operation is also known as:
trimming the sails
since i’ve been so remiss on keeping up a WOTW, i figured i’d toss some alternate terms for the topic “at hand” out there:
GOOD:
mouse’s ear
mole’s eye
butler’s cuff
BAD:
roast beef curtains
clamchops
clown’s pocket
pussy napkin
lumphinnans
welly top
beach taffy
crotch waffle
bucket fanny
fenellas
wizard cuffs
knicker elastics
taco tentacles
american quilt
texan envelope
Um. Well. I just don’t know what to say. I don’t like the ‘V’ word AT ALL……so rejuvinating it in a doctor’s office just isn’t that appealing.
Wow.
People with lasers are dangerous! Especially when they are putting the laser on your va-jay-jay! Kegels are going to have to do it.
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Maybe Stoogepie will do a comic explaining this to us. Kind of a layperson’s version with pictures.
Can’t remember which James Bond movie it was but i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t care for any laser beams around my lower parts.
But Robo would kick your uh, twidget, into shape! I think you should reconsider.
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AHHHHHHH!!! *runs away screaming*
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yanno, i’ve always wondered if kegels actually work
Doing my kegels now. Doing them a lot. A LOT. Faster…faster…faster…
Scuse me. I need some private time.
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while we’re on the subject of pimping twidgets:
Oh c’mon – don’t act like you wouldn’t let ol Bill Shattner shoot his laser down there.
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I’d stick with the kegels as well. Imagine if they missed and you ended up with a second hole!!
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Is that why that guy was all, “Don’t tase me, bro!” to the police? I guess he was already behaving like a dick and didn’t really want to start acting like a twat.
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“pimp my twidget” may now be my most favorite expression ever.
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Wait… so you mean people actually do kegels? I thought that was some kind of urban legend.
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Can you get “new car smell”?
I can’t lie. I’m nervous about my twidget too. I made le husband sign a contract stating he would agree and pay for me to have my boobs put back in their proper position and a tummy tuck if personal training didn’t give me a flat stomach.
I’m not above lasers in my vag either.
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ah! I knew that existed!
A celebrity (more like a popular tv slut) in Argentina had it done and the whole country laughed at it 
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ugggh. there are so many things that COULD go wrong. i couldn’t risk the vag being ruined beyond repair.
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It doesnt matter how many babies I pop out, ain’t no laser get near my
who-ha. I’m kegling as I type.
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I’ve heard of that too, but nnot sure about the procedure. Not like I care too much because… a kitty is still a kitty and it can always be pet regardless of… the last time she had octuplets. : )
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That’s why I’m never having a baby…I’m too lazy to go get my crotch lasered or whatever.
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can i seriously have william shatner stick a laser in my…
yeah i don’t know where im going with this comment. ha
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Yeeaaah…I would stick with Kegels. I’m thinking it’s a good idea not to let somebody near your twidget with a laser.
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OH MY!!! I honestly have never heard of this and I’ve got my little legs crossed all the way down to my ankles just now… however if my man ever catches wind of this I need all ya’ll to SWEAR it is an urban rumor and really he just needs a vasectomy and then it’ll all feel just fine anyways…
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I like the idea of a laser! But I was thinking more like you put a laser deep inside and the beam shoots out. That would fucking rock! And Alice would love it, too!
But, if you’re opposed to lasers, Reverand Dr. stoogepie says try an oak gall product like virgina or gripper vagina tightening formula. If you mix it with Preparation H and Ken does some sextasy, it’s pretty awesome.
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Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks