Crissy is frought with anxiety today Queefs.
FROUGHT she tells you!
On Sunday she has to bring Girlfriend to her little friend Brianna’s birthday party and Crissy doesn’t know anybody. Not one single person. And Mister can’t come too because he has to work on the Taco’s room and so Crissy has no choice but to go alone.
Plus Brianna’s house is in an unfamiliar part of Schmuckytown and that gives Crissy major anxiety and it wouldn’t be so bad if she had her new Volvo because it’s pretty much exactly like the Batmobile and everyone knows you don’t get lost in Schmuckytown in the Batmobile, but she doesn’t have it yet and so she must drive her old car with the broken clock which makes it pretty much undriveable and she’s sure to get lost.
And also, Brianna is of Foreign Ethnicity and that is not to be confused with Dirty Foreign People because Crissy has seen this Brianna child and she looks pretty clean and so that elevates her to Foreign Ethnicity status instead but Crissy is still worried that there will be many other people of Foreign Ethnicity and this frightens her because maybe they will not like Crissy and will perhaps make Crissy sit under the table to eat or even worse, NOT GIVE CRISSY ANY FOOD AT ALL!!!!
Or maybe they will shout at her and laugh at her outfit in Foreign Ethnicity Language and Crissy will not understand them!
It keeps Crissy awake at night a lot of times since last Wednesday.
And what if there are other preschool mothers there?
What if Girlfriend isn’t the only one from the school that was invited?
What if the Escalade Pajama Cunts are there???
You know how Crissy feels about talking to other moms right?
It’s not good you guys.
Not good at all.
And what will Girlfriend get Brianna as a gift?
Do Foreign Ethnicity peoples read books?
Crissy does not know!!!
This is terrible.
It’s the worst thing to happen to Crissy since the other day when her headband was giving her a headache but it matched her outfit and so she couldn’t take it off and just had to suffer all day and take Tylenols and drink coffee instead.
Crissy needs vodka and Klonopin hugs, Queefs.
Please somebody come with Crissy to the party.