So when Crissy went to pick Girlfriend up at school yesterday, the atmosphere was really weird and Girlfriend’s backpack was in a strange place and the school principal met her at the door and said in a very serious voice, “we need to talk. Come on in and sit down.”
Oh Jesus Christ, shit, and fuck.
And she took her sweet time finding the right words for what she wanted to say and it seemed like Crissy sat there for an hour before she finally spoke and Crissy was all “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN
And the principal said “Girlfriend was involved in an incident in the playground today.”
Apparently Queefs, and you’re gonna shit when Crissy tells you, Girlfriend was alone in the giant pirate ship play structure thing they have with some little dude and when the teachers found them, the little dude was naked and Girlfriend was pointing to his little weenis and laughing.
Crissy just laughed you guys because seriously?
And the principal seemed glad that Crissy wasn’t upset and let her go collect Girlfriend. All the teachers Crissy saw on the way to get her wore very serious faces as if the kid stabbed Girlfriend with a play dough knife or something and Crissy just wanted to be like, “Will you people chill the fuck out? It’s just a penis!”
It’s not like Girlfriend doesn’t see Mister prancing around the house like the proudest pretty pony each and every single day.
God was Crissy relieved you guys.
Girlfriend had done nothing wrong, and don’t anyone say that pointing and laughing wasn’t the thing to do because any of you would have done the same, and it was only the first in a lifetime of dudes wanting to show her their Special Purpose whether she wants to see it or not.
And on the way out, Crissy saw the little dude’s mother, who clearly had no clue what had happened, on her way in to collect her little exhibitionist. Crissy felt sorry for her and she really wanted to pat her on the shoulder and be like, “It’s no big thing, sista” but Crissy is not familiar with protocol in this particular situation and so she kept quiet and just smiled extra big at her so she’d know Crissy was not offended by but rather amused by her son’s display.
And when Mister asked Girlfriend what happened at school, she told the story and said “I laughed and laughed at him and the teacher’s faces looked shocked just like mommy’s when I cut my hair! They made him take his nap alone in the library because that’s where the naughty kids go. Hahahahahahaha! He’s so silly!”
Poor little dude is probably scarred for life now, but at least Girlfriend has a kick ass story to tell at the sandbox.
“And there I was, minding my own business, about to go down the slide, when he took. it. out.”