This post is pretty much a piece of crap.

It’s been on the news a lot around here and Crissy isn’t sure why it’s particularly newsworthy but whatever. 99% of what’s on the news is total mind-numbing crap that keeps people blind to the REAL things going on in the world so why is Crissy surprised?

Don’t know.

Anyway, apparently, some people were fighting over some dog shit in a yard and it got a little ugly and a baseball bat was waved around and some dude got arrested.  You can read about it here if you want the details.

Crissy’s only mentioning it because she understands why people were fighting over dog shit because she has a problem with dog shit too.

Who doesn’t?

And it makes Crissy violent and she wants to just go over to the neighbor’s house, drag them out, bring them over to her yard and smoosh their fucking faces in the shit. And sadly, this is not the same neighbor who is pulling the Zoning Board Shenanigans.

(btw, Numbnuts waved to Mister yesterday and Mister grunted at him and did not wave back. HA!)

Crissy lives in an idiot colony.

Valuable Life Lesson for the Queefs: When you go to buy a house, interview the neighbors. If they’re assholes, don’t buy the house.

Crissy didn’t know that, but now you do.

You’re welcome.

Some of you Queefs may remember something about how Crissy feels about the dog shit.

Does the name Tequila ring a bell?

Well she’s at it again and what Crissy did about the problem last year has become routine now but with a little less dancing and there’s nothing new to report except that these people may be foreclosed on at the end of the month and that makes Crissy both sad and happy at the same time.

She’s sad because it means that Mister and Kendra won’t have a convenient source from which to purchase  Special Treats anymore and that means if Mister can’t find any he’ll be a giant cranky pants and drive Crissy up a wall–even more than he usually does and that is saying something.  You don’t want to see Mister without his Special Treats. Crissy doesn’t know about Kendra without her Special Treats but she’s probably not very happy either.  Also, these particular neighbors are in no position to ever judge anything Crissy does and that’s a nice feeling.

Being superior to people always feels nice, doesn’t it?

But it makes Crissy happy because maybe if they just go away she won’t have to deal with the fucking dog shit and the teenage boy revving his dirtbike in the driveway all fucking day all spring, summer and fall. These people come with a myriad of other bullshit that Crissy won’t go into right now, but just know that  they’re always coming over to Crissy’s to apologize for something but the thing is that they don’t stop doing it!

What is worse Queefs? 

Knowing you’re a dick, apologizing for it but never stopping OR being a dick and not knowing it?

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  1. but doesn’t that mean that the young hot boys won’t be washing their cars? What will you look at while Taco is at the boob?

  2. Oh, but if they foreclose, you might be forced to deal with some yuppie couple who buys the house at a steal. And plans to gentrify the neighborhood. And then you’re going to be forced to keep up with the Jones’ instead of everyone keeping up with the Crissy’s.

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Dating

  3. We had a problem with the dog stuff at our old place. Not so much now, but I do still find tiny poo in our yard. We have larger dogs, so I know the poo isn’t theirs. And like Ben, when we walk ours, we carry dumb poo bags around with us to clean up after them.

  4. Rach- It will be a sacrifice, but I will learn to live without it.

    Ben- Oh I know! I always have my little shit bags with me whenever Alice goes out for a walk.

    Nilsa- Crissy has already gentrified the neighborhood so that is impossible! I have a nice car, you know. AND our trash cans all match.

    Daisee- Yeah. Alice is little and Tequila is huge. These are NOT little Alice poops.

    Pimp- You act like a total dick. Trust me.

  5. I don’t know how I missed that video the first time around but it really just made my day.

    Granted, I kind of wish I hadn’t been eating breakfast while reading about all the shit, but sometimes it’s a risk reading at Crissy’s and I’m okay with the results.

    Especially when the results are the flinging of the poo into the neighbor’s yard.

    Stealthnerd’s last blog post: My faith in journalism has been restored

  6. I hear ya on the cranky pimp thing. I recently went through a few weeks of hell when my hubby’s “friend with the special treats” was out of town. Ugh! Absolutely intolerable!! Mister is already making poor Crissy miserable with his turtle’s pace with Taco’s room and half dishwasher emptying, I certainly hope it doesn’t get worse.

  7. Since you’ve already been a good neighbor and have returned their misplaced property (with lovely music and graceful moves to boot!), I say that harsher measures are called for. I will send over all the homeless people in my neighborhood that poop on the stoops and by the mailboxes (is it the passing resemblance to outhouses that inspires dumping at these locations or their ubiquitous presence on every corner?). They can have a party on your neighbor’s lawn.

    I think if you are going to be a dick, it’s ridiculous to apologize for it. Own it!

    Dingo’s last blog post: How ’Bout ’Dem Apples!

  8. Tess- Great news though! He took tomorrow off work to go all crazy in Taco’s room! Yay!!!

    Mary- They can indeed. I think I’m going to have my husband go over there and take a dump too.

    Dingo- Hahahahaha! Own it.

    Deutlich- Shitty isn’t it?

  9. Growing up in the south, I always figured we cornered the market on rednecks. Then I moved to Oregon, which is basically the Arkansas of the West Coast (Portland, excluded, of course). Ain’t it nice to know that everywhere you go, a little slice of Appalachia is right around the corner? Or, in this case, right next door!

    Bill’s last blog post: Full Moon in the Morning

  10. If I ever get to move from the white trash hell my husband talked me into living in, I will stalk the neighbors before buying the house. I will knock on their doors and ask them if I can count their teeth.

    If I knew then, what I know now I would’ve kept my house in meth country. At least it was quiet there!

    Kelly’s last blog post: TV And The Modern Family

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