Project Runway

Some of you Queefs don’t care about pictures of Girlfriend because you’re young and drunk and everything but Crissy knows that most of you do and so here.

You’re going to look at some pictures of her and you’re going to fucking love the shit out of it because she’s what Crissy feels like talking about today and if Crissy feels like talking about it by golly she’s going to because this is Crissy’s Page.

CRISSY’S

PAGE!!!

So suck it.

Girlfriend has been dressing herself lately and Crissy lets her because

A: Crissy is tired and it’s just not worth the trouble to stop her so if it’s appropriate for the weather, Girlfriend is good to go.

B: Girlfriend’s get-ups are Short Bus Chic (she totally gets that from her father) and Crissy thinks she has a future designing either for People with The Retardation or People With Way Too Much Fucking Money.

See this?

Totally something Girlfriend would put together.

So who is Crissy to stop genius at work?

She’s nobody.

First up is this lovely ensemble which you’ll notice is almost identical to the one pictured above but Crissy can assure you it is an original creation by Girlfriend. It was designed to help daddy with the baby’s room.

Crissy took this picture and then Mister posted it on HIS blog. AS. IF. DUDE.

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But Crissy will fix his wagon, don’t you worry your pretty little Queef heads about that.

Crissy has the punani and therefore, the power.

There will be no more picture stealing going on up in here.

A little flower child action

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If only Janis Joplin had thought to wear tap shoes, who knows how it would have changed the course of her life?

Here’s the special outfit she chose for blowing bubbles out in the yard.

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The hat was really cute with it, but Mister made her use the picture without the hat in it even though Crissy said she wanted the picture with the fucking hat in it because the picture is about the ensemble and not about art.

He’s been causing trouble Queefs. Can you tell?

He’s a big pain in Crissy’s ass with the pictures all the time.

And of course Girlfriend does not limit her designs to just herself. Crissy caught her putting lipstick on the dog the other day (Crissy’s most favorite Clinique Black Honey thankyouverymuch. Sorry Rachel. Crissy loves the Black Honey.) and also Mister caught her giving her a hair cut. Both times the explanation was that she was “getting Alice ready for a dog show.”

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If you ask Crissy, Girlfriend is lucky Alice lets her keep her face.

She kind of does need a haircut though…

And Girlfriend is such a threat to designers like old Mr. Valentino that he was forced to retire and then go cry in a bag of pug chow.


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37 comments

  1. I think my daughter also takes fashion tips from Ken…she loves naked time way too much.

    ps-you’ve been on the black honey for as long as I can remember…wait, wasn’t Courtney Cox’s lip love?

  2. Black Honey, Clinique. I know of which you speak. My fave too. See? I knew we were meant to be BFFs!

    And I love Girlfriend’s fashion sense. Very upscale, very very cool. I think I’m going to dress just like her today, along with my Black Honey, of course.

    Mary @ Holy Mackerel’s last blog post: Mama

  3. Rachel- Courtney is my home girl.

    k8- I used to care what she wears but I think her creations are so much cuter.

    Kelly- Hello Kitty socks.

    Mary- The Black Honey is da shit. It doesn’t last more than 20 minutes but it’s one hell of a fabulous looking 20 minutes.

    Maxie- Just wait. Everyone will be wearing them! I think Gwyneth has them…

    crissy’s last blog post: Project Runway

  4. Yes, Girlfriend could be on her way to a career in fashion design … or, she could be the one making snarky comments about fashion, or the lack thereof.

    Perhaps you have a MS. Blackwell and don’t even know it…yet.

    Mr. POSSLQ’s last blog post: Behind the Swingy Wall

  5. Punani?
    I can’t remember the last time I heard that word. Ha!

    Girlfriend is on to something, though. We need some younger designers. And I won’t talk about the walkie talkie, toy chainsaw and plastic butcher knife my spy son tries to wear to school.

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post: Got Dribble?

  6. I love that Girlfriend has such an eclectic sense of style. Those snots at snotty school would not know how to nurture that fantastic streak and in a year she’d be dressing in khakis and button downs from the Gap. BUT I think you should keep a closer eye on Girlfriend’s school ensembles. The next thing you know she’ll be wearing a granny sweater with no pantie. And what kind of freak does that?!

    I can’t find that Black Honey lipstick anywhere. It’s always sold out. Now I know why, someone in Rhode Island is buying it all to put on their dog. But Alice is totally worth it. Who am I to argue with a cross-species dating, canasta playing, Lyme disease survivor?

    Dingo’s last blog post: Red Read Well

  7. Mr. POSSLQ- She already is the Ms. Blackwell of our house. She can always be counted on to give a fashion critique.

    Akilah- Won’t you join me in my quest to bring back Punani?

    Dingo- That’s exactly what her school principal told me. They love her eclectic style! You should teach preschool. Bwahahahahahahaha!!! You are really good with kids though…

    Ms. Darkstar- I try to avoid the pink as much as I can when I pick stuff out for her. All the pink you see are hand me downs. I will claim credit for the blue and yellow number.

    Matt- That’s my favorite too. I think it shows a lot of creativity and real willingness to take risks.
    crissy’s last blog post: Project Runway

  8. Awwwwwwww! I love Girlfriend…she’s a weirdo regarding the way she combines her clothes, but that’s ok…I’m a little weirdo myself too so I can’t judge Girlfriend for being peculiar 😛 Besides, she looks damn awesome at the pictures, especially the one at Taco’s room.

    Thrice’s last blog post: THE WALL STRIKES BACK

  9. when i grow up and have kids i hope i’m still as funny as you

    and yes, the chris speaks the truth. y’all are gonna have to beat them boys off with a stick. my daddy always threatened to pull out his shotgun…

    deutlich’s last blog post: Tweet Tweet

  10. Thrice- The only thing I didn’t get in that picture was her tool box. She has her own, you know.

    Chris- She’s already got the boys at school helping her put her coat on and carrying her backpack for her. I shit you not.

    Deutlich- We’re planning on raising her lesbian to avoid that problem.

    Marie- You don’t need to buy a thing! I’ll have her come over to your place and she’ll make outfits out of stuff you already have!

    crissy’s last blog post: Project Runway

  11. Stealthnerd- She’s going fit right in at RISD.

    Joy- for Girlfriend it’s Bella Dancerella. I don’t expect you to know who that is, but trust me. It’s obnixious.

    Nilsa- I think Girlfriend was actually serving her some tea when that picture was taken.

    Pimp- Ok.

  12. Thank you for reminding me about the word punani. The first time I heard it was on one of those Real Sex episodes where they were talking about poetry and a place in NY that takes the human body and makes it art!… or whatever. This one gal recited a poem called Punani Dreams.

    … I had no idea it did that!

    By the way, I LOVE the ensemble and pose GF has going on in that second picture! Born fashionista.

    Ceci’s last blog post: I might explode

  13. I just came home from having Long Island iced teas at dinner so I am drunk. And I can confirm that I definitely DO care about pictures of girlfriend. And do you see how I spelled all my words right? Even with eleventy zillion boozes in my veins?

    Heidi Renée’s last blog post: So happy.

  14. “If you ask Crissy, Girlfriend is lucky Alice lets her keep her face.”

    AND…Mister is lucky that Crissy let’s him live inside the house!!!!

    ‘NUF said!!!!!

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