Apparently, Crissy Looks Like She Cares

Does Crissy look like a therapist to you Queefs?

Crissy doesn’t think so either but apparently she does because on Sunday at the Reference desk it was nothing but TMI and whining about personal stuff to Crissy.

Crissy knows that hairdressers and bartenders and psychologists get an earful of people’s personal shit every day and it’s actually part of the job but at the library?


There really isn’t even supposed to be any talking at the library which is a big reason why Crissy likes it there.

Maybe it’s because Crissy is pregnant and so she looks maternal which must mean she gives a rat’s ass about people’s problems but they have another thing coming because Crissy is a bitch.

But she clearly doesn’t look like one.

First it was this lady who was all “my son just got his girlfriend pregnant and they’re only 16 and they have no p lace to live and no car and I just wanted to know if there was some sort of federal grant I can apply for so that they can get a car (pause for breath) because they’re going to need one especially if he’s got to take her to the methodone center all the time now because you can’t shoot heroin when you’re pregnant and I just knew this would happen (breath) because his father’s been out of work for nine years now and he’s always running away from home and getting mixed up with prostitutes and drug addicts all the time but he’s a good boy (breath) and he promises he doesn’t do drugs and I also want to know if there’s a test I can give him like from the drug store or something to see if he’s been doing any because it’s not that I don’t trust him but I want to know. You know? (big, giant sigh.)”

Somebody shoot Crissy.

And then this other guy came to her to apologize for using his cell phone but he had to because his wife’s step-mother just had to be rushed to the hospital because her husband just died and she’s a paraplegic and has been for some 12 years now and she can’t take care of herself and she lives in New Jersey and now she’s got blood in her urine.

Crissy just looked at him and didn’t say anything because that would have only encouraged him.


Crissy’s counterpart, Patty, who is a lovely Irish lady and a wonderful librarian, had this gross lady who was wearing a theme sweater and way, way too much lipstick come up to the desk to ask for help finding the manufacturer of her BRA.

And when Patty asked who makes the BRA the lady said she didn’t know and proceeded to come around behind the Reference desk and take her shirt off so Patty could read the label off her old dirty gray that used to be white BRA!!!


Patty handled it wonderfully of course but when the woman left she calmly got up, went into the office, poured herself some water from her thermos and in the most beautiful Irish accent said “what in the name of fuck and Jesus is wrong with people?”

WOTW: personality vomit

the act of overly elucidating details about one’s personal matters to others who neither know nor care to know those details, particularly if an insufficient level of intimacy and familiarity exists.

i really felt sorry for jennifer while she was working at the reference desk last weekend… she was covered in personality vomit after some grody looking perv came in and told her all about his first sexual experiences with his chickens.

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  1. And I thought I had it bad working the front desk at the gym where I have to touch sweaty towels every once in a blue moon. You just put things in perspective.

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Recap

  2. Wow. People actually treat their librarian’s like that?
    And no, you definitely don’t look like a bitch. You actually look all sugar ‘n spice and everything nice. But that juxtaposition is part of what I love about you/your blog. 😉

    Lost Artist’s last blog post: May Winter burn in Hell

  3. And I thought I had it bad with the poor old folks that live alone and their only human contact is the guy the brings their oxygen. I’ve spent more time listening to these people than I probably should have, but the moment it enters TMI territory, I’m outta there.

    Mr. POSSLQ’s last blog post: Draggedfeet

  4. I feel for you, Crissy. I have total strangers come up to me in public places and share horribly personal information with me and all I was doing was trying to figure out what sort of body wash to buy… there I am wondering if smelling like mango or pina colada would be better and suddenly I’m hearing about urinary tract infections and 36 hours of labor…

    It’s a wild, weird world.

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: Cuz all the cool kids are doin’ it…

  5. That is my Aunt everyday;
    “Well I would help Grandma more, but I have this fungus on my toe and it is really starting to hurt. I let the dogs lick at but it doesn’t seem to help. I worry that it is making the dogs fat (not the pounds of human food they get fed a day) but it just hurts and if they don’t lick it, it just starts to ooze. You wanna see it?”

    And they wonder why I stopped visiting…..

    Rachel M.’s last blog post: My perfect girl’s night out

  6. People really think you want to hear it!

    Getting my f’d up hair done, I had to hear about my hairdresser’s friend and her labor business. Loudly she told me about ripped labia, several times. The whole place did a record skip… Now I know it was personality vomit!

    Kelly’s last blog post: Clearly I Am In Trouble

  7. you need to do what phil and i did…

    make a sign up. put this on it:

    1) NMFP
    2) NOYFB
    3) GTFO

    when someone pisses you off, point to one of the three options.

    example A), guy comes in, says he parked his car in a handicapped spot, and just got a ticket. you point to #1 — Not My Fucking Problem.

    example B), guy leans over and asks if you know what sex baby taco is. you point to #2 — None Of Your Fucking Business.

    example C), guy doesn’t say or do much of anything, but is still creeping the staff and patrons out. point to #3 — Get The Fuck Out.

    you’d be amazed at how many different scenarios these three conditions can account for!

  8. Oh yes, the personality vomit. I get this all the time from my students who want me to know that their baby daddy just got out of prison and they have to move because he’s on the sex offender registry and they live near a school. And, oh yeah, is it okay if he sits in on a class?

    One questions, does theme sweater lady wear a different theme sweater for each day of the week? Does she wear day of the week panties? You should ask her. It would make her day.

    Dingo’s last blog post: Red Read Well

  9. Strangely, we don’t get this at my office. And we are SUPPOSED to listen to people’s medical concerns and what’s affecting their health.

    Oh wait. I work for a crazy Pakistani man who looks like he could – at any point – pull out a gun and start shooting.

    I think that keeps them quiet.

    k8’s last blog post: What Does Your House Look Like?

  10. Crissy – I would love to work with you for a day… I’ll be your receptionist or something – I’ll sit right next to you and when they come to the desk…
    I’ll say shit like “I’m sorry Mrs. QOFE is currently unavailable, may I take a message.”
    Then they’ll say something dumb like “But she’s sitting right there.” And I’ll laugh them off and say, “I’m sorry, but she’s getting ready for a conference; is there a message you’d like to pass along?” Then they may start to get annoyed and say, “No! She’s sitting right there – I’m looking at her and I have a question!!” Now as a receptionist I do reserve the right to abruptly end a conversation if I feel the caller is becoming irate or disrespectful or smells weird, so my response to their blatantly uncalled for outburst would be, “I’m so sorry you’re having difficulty, but I’ll get your message to Mrs. QOFE right away, thank you!” Next I swear to all the holy gods I will write out a written message and hand it right to ya.

    Crazy is as crazy does bitches so go sell it elsewhere cuz we’re FULL of it here bastards.

    Then again, I can always be replaced by Pimp’s “1) NMFP 2) NOYFB 3) GTFO” sign. Either or.

    Thanks for my daily chuckles!

    Candy’s last blog post: It’s a beautiful effin life…

  11. My wife’s cousin met her current husband when both were in line to sell their plasma, and realized it was Sunday and the place was closed. I always wonder how long they were waiting there before noticing. Since then, fairly random calls complaining about the quality of the spouse, booze, gambling, etc. Usually in rambling three hour phone calls. Luckily when I answer she just asks for wife and will not talk to me.
    See? There’s another one for you. Keep listening.

    JoeInVegas’s last blog post: Monday videos – 50’s rock

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  13. It’s amazing what people tell you while you’re sitting at the Reference Desk. Just because I’m friendly and I smile at you doesn’t mean I’m your friend and what to hear all about your life. Do you think our boss would mind Ken’s sign? 🙂

  14. All I can tell you is yuck!! And I know woh your talking about because shes one crazy bitch. She drives us nots down stairs.

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