The Italian Stallion Rides Again!

Oh Queefs.

Crissy has been at the deli counter at the Stop & Shop again.

She went yesterday to buy Mister some Italian meat products with which to make an Italian sub because that’s his favorite (Crissy also likes the Italian meat but in a very different way) as a present for working so hard to put walls in Taco’s room and guess who was working.

Yeah, that’s right.

It was Vinny.

Huhhuhuhuhhuhuhuhuuuuu…Vinny.

If you don’t know Vinny then you’re clearly new here because Crissy and Vinny have been having a rather turbulent love affair for about a year now and oh how the passion has not died Queefs!

And when Crissy asked him for his hard salami he said to her “sure thing doll” and Crissy thinks she might have that tattooed on her inner thigh and it made her Old Navy maternity panties (holla Melissa Lion!) start to fall off right there in front of the Mortadella (Crissy does not know what that is but she bought some because Vinny said his Mortadella belonged in her Mister’s sandwich) and it was getting all hot and heavy with the meat this and meat that and then all of a sudden

Rrrrrrrriiiiiipppppp! (or something else that sounds like a record scratching violently)

He handed Crissy’s meat order over to someone else !!!!!

And Crissy would normally understand because Vinny is the Deli Manager and he is a very important man who cannot spend his whole day with Crissy but then he said, and this just hurts Crissy so much you guys

“Somebody take care of my girl here before she goes into labor.”

Oh.

Crissy sees that Vinny is not into Wheebling as much as she hoped.

But he called her his girl so that must mean something like he wishes Taco was from the provolone of his loins or, or, whatever right?

RIGHT????

Vinny still loves Crissy doesn’t he Queefs?

Crissy just worries is all because this isn’t the first time that Vinny has toyed with her in his careless yet irresistible sexy beastly bad boy way.

What is to become of Crissy’s delicatessen experiences without Vinny to call her sweehot, doll, honey, and babe?

Crissy will tell you.

It will become total shit you guys.

But that is okay because Crissy has a plan to win Vinny back to her. She won’t be a weeble for very much longer and then it will be all bow chica bow bow or bada bing bada boom or “I’ll give you my meat sweehot” or whatever again like it used to be.

And so Vinny better watch out because as soon as Taco comes out she’s going to put on her very best nursing bra and show that boy a little something from the Dairy department and then he’ll want to check her produce.

Fuggedaboudit.

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23 comments

  1. Holla! Those panties are the bezest!

    You know I was just thinking about Vinny, for no other reason than I was at my favorite meat counter and thinking we should go meat shopping some time. Because it’s so very wonderful.

    melissalion’s last blog post: I’m Back

  2. I may or may not think Italian men are hot. Period. End of argument.

    Sadly, I may or MAY NOT be married to one. I love him anyway!!

    But next time you are looking to troll the meat counter, I’ll come with you!

  3. shit. i just realized i totally dropped the ball on finding the best word of the week. to my wife, and her queefs, i apologize profusely.

    i’m all fucked up with this daylight savings bullshit…

  4. Awwww – all is not lost Crissy… I promise.

    Meanwhile now I’m miss my greasy Sicilians (I’m a Brooklyn girl) and the closest I can get to good Italian food is across the street from my job and it’s owned and operated by Albanians. God bless America I feel so hopeless.

    Happy Monday!

    Candy’s last blog post: Boredumb

  5. Sounds like Vinny is has some pretty solid game. He just pulled the oldest trick in the book, act disinterested and aloof and you’ll be irresistible. You totally fell for you it, but it sounds like you never stood a chance.

    Eric’s last blog post: Life Lessons

  6. Its the fine art of seduction. He longs for you…. he knows he can’t have you so he pretends to slice his meat for other women to make you jealous. Eventually he won’t be able to help himself. Be patient, someday he’ll slip you his olive loaf.

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