Somebody buy this fridgin thing! What a stupid title, Crissy.

Thank heavens to Betsy today is a new day Queefs.

Crissy’s day was a bit rough yesterday and it all involved people either fucking her over or trying to fuck her over and you know what?

Crissy is fucking sick of all the fucking over going on up in here!

Don’t fuck with Crissy anymore DO YOU HEAR THAT WORLD???

CUT IT OUT.

You don’t want to see Crissy go out in a blaze of glory with a shotgun or a bomb or a five pound bag of chocolates or something do ya?

Remember when Crissy said that she wanted a new refrigerator that came complete with two Asian bitches who can chop non-frozen lettuce like there’s no tomorrow but she cannot afford one?

Well the irony, and Crissy posted about this on Monday’s post but pulled it back because she even bored herself with it so some of you early readers already know about this, is that Crissy actually has a brand new wonderful fancy refrigerator that does not freeze lettuce or get rusty in humid weather that even had an ice maker and a water dispenser right in the door that used to fit in her old house but does not fit in the smaller built in space in her new house and so it sits in the basement collecting kitty box dust.

And Crissy is trying to sell it so she can raise the money to get a new one that will fit in her new kitchen.

This has proven to be nearly fucking impossible because no honest person has that kind of cash right now and so not once but twice yesterday Crissy heard from some butthole scammers:

Hello,

Thanks for the quick response… Am satisfied with the price and condition of the item. I will like to make an outright purchase of the item.I am out of town on a business trip and i don’t know when i will be back, so i will like to proceed in issuing out a certified check to you direct from my Bank and upon the confirmation and clearance of payment at your own Bank my mover will come for the pick-up at your location and then deliver it to my place. So i would appreciate if you can get back to me with your full name, address, zipcode and cell phone number so that payment can be mail out on time asap. let me read from you today.

Warm Regards.

Yeah.

Warm Regards as I fuck you up the ass with a phony certified check whilst enjoying a cool beverage with crushed ice in it from your wonderful fancy refrigerator.

And so Crissy wrote back and said “Cash only. In person or nothing.”

And he said:

Am for real bear with me and accept my term payment because the check will be issue from my bank,so get back to me with your details for payment.

Fuck that Queefs.

And then another one:

hello

Is this item still available for sale get back o me asap today

thanks
scott joe
228 Seaview Lane
Corpus Christi,TX 78411

And now Crissy is getting smart because this asstard, just like the other buttmonkey, does not even mention what the “item” is.

Also, HE’S IN FUCKING TEXAS!!! Last Crissy knew it would cost a lot of monies to ship a refrigerator from Rhode Island to Texas so she wrote back, “Don’t you think it will be a little hard for you to pick the fridge up all the way from Texas, or are you responding to my ad for the life size sculpture of my vagina? Either way, they’re both pretty big and Texas is pretty far.”

And he/it/whatever wrote back:

Well, thanks for the prompt response I realy appreciate your honesty ,This is due to the fact that my mode of payment will be Via Bank Certified Cashiers Check As there are too many scams on internet with bogus account. Once you are satisfied with my mode of payment you can proceed to delete the advert,so email me your name and address not a PO box and also with your phone number to received the check. The check will be mailed via UPS or FedEx air so it will be delivered .please i need assurance that the item would be available for my shipping company to picked up from you, as soon as you recieve payment and cleared your bank Because i may be out of town anytime from now on a business trip I shall forward my shipper’s information Then you will proceed to have the check deposited….

Thanks.

Crissy doesn’t think so douchemuncher.

So Crissy is pretty frustrated and disheartened that the world is so full of motherfuckers and assclowns and so last night while she made some emergency vegan chocolate raspberry cookies for her Papa’s 93rd birthday because Outlook fucked her over and didn’t remind her it was his birthday until 16 hours after it had started, she was looking forward to waking up this morning to a new day when perhaps nobody tried to fuck with her.

And then she looked through the mail and there was a second rejection letter for Girlfriend from the Fucktard Barnyard school because apparently rejecting her once was not enough.

So now Crissy knows what she’s giving up for Lent.

It was going to be blow jobs but no.

She’s giving up taking bullshit from people.

That’s quite enough.

And now a Lenten song for the Queefs…

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26 comments

  1. What is it with fucktards these days?! I’ve been putting out fires all week and I’m at the point that I’m just going to let all the asshats I encounter on a daily basis burn. I think I will call it The Salem Bitch Trials. Are you with me?

    Dingo’s last blog post: Who You Callin’ Chicken?!

  2. Dang it, I would buy your fridge from you (with cash), but we live too far away to make it worth anyone’s while. And while I’d love a road trip, the driving in ice and snow thing to get to you just doesn’t appeal to me right now. Do you have a dishwasher you want to sell too? Maybe then I can convince hubby it’s worth the drive 🙂

  3. Damn Crissy, that sucks. Have you tried an ad in the local paper?

    I just got a rejection letter from my subdivision about rocks we put out to replace our mulch. Rocks! WTF kind of pushy cult is this?!! Next they’ll say only one kid per family…

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post: First Time

  4. Take his money and then send him a teeny tiny Barbie-sized refrigerator with a note that says: Hoping you enjoy that the size of this item is such that you will be able to sufficiently shove it up your ass. Thank you for your purchase buttmonkey.

  5. That song made me rock out a little bit in my chair…sometimes I wonder what the other people in my office think of me, but then I just realize they all already know I’m a little bit bat-crazy so who cares if I do a little dance at my desk first thing in the morning?

    Cal’s last blog post: Outline Schmoutline

  6. Hey Crissy – I just started following ur blog and I’m always crackin the hell up or nodding in agreement. Life sucks major donkey dick sometimes and it’s quite comforting to know I’m not the only one going thru this monotonous bullshit.

    So in conclusion…

    You’re hilarious and your family is brilliant and beautiful. Best blog I’ve come across. (No, I don’t say that to everyone and by that I mean of course I do.)

    Candy’s last blog post: Not so hot….

  7. When does lent end? I will wait until then to fuck you over some more. Me and the escalators.

    Instead of selling the refrigerator or installing the windows, why not just buy a new house? Even if you can’t afford it, just pay with a certified check.

    stoogepie’s last blog post: Mister Shorts Number 8

  8. let me tell you, crissy’s vagina is stupefying in its sheer gorgeousness.

    like staring in the eye of god, i tell ya: windchimes, sparkly lights, vertigo, sweaty palms.. the full monty.

    the sculpture is only slightly less impressive.

  9. WOW! The guy/girl/whatever trying to buy the ITEM so that movers can bring it to TEXAS–God what kind of a-hole is this? Everything’s a scam, and as if the economy isn’t scary enough, you’ve gotta watch out for this shit.

    Stay strong. Giving up bullshit for lent is an excellent idea. Loved your song. Loved your artwork of octomom.

    You’re so talented.

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