Dear Turd Ferguson

The Crissys would like to thank Mr. Turd Ferguson, Historical Commisson Dickhead in Charge of Making it Impossible for Nice People to Protect their Children From Lead Hazards Due to Retarded and Unreasonable Constraints Placed Upon Them for forcing the Crissys to come up with a Plan B for their window situation because even with the loan from the state the Crissys will still have to come up with a lot of money on their own for the windows Mr. Ferguson wants them to have and they just don’t have it so that puts an end to the whole affair.

And the Queefs can also thank Mr. Ferguson for forcing Crissy to keep talking about it even though nobody cares about windows. (Crissy can see the collective eye roll from the Queefs whenever she mentions her windows and to that she says, “meh.”)

What a Buttmunch.

And so today Crissy is announcing Window Replacement Plan B which is very complicated and has a lot of steps and mathematical equations involved in it but to sum it up for everyone who isn’t as smart as they are Crissy will just tell you that they plan to do a lot of Begging and Mister will replace the windows his own self.

And we will get these because they’re what we want and not what Mr. Ferguson wants.

These go better with the Crissy’s house anyway because it’s a Craftsman style house and you Queefs remember Frank Lloyd Wright don’t you? Well think of him when you think of Crissy’s house and you’ll know that these are the windows he would have wanted. And clearly Mr. Ferguson needs some schooling in the history of architecture and design because he wanted something totally different for the Crissy’s house.

Anyway, Crissy and Mister are going to beg their parents for money because Crissy and Mister know their parents have money and they’re just not giving them any.

And they figure that it’s because they haven’t been offered anything in return and so the Crissys have come up with a Geinus Idea.

They’re going to offer memorial plaques to be placed on the windows that say things like “This window begrudgingly purchased by Linda, 2009. She hopes Crissy will shut up now.” Or ” In Loving Memory of Ken and Marcy Who Are Not Yet Dead But Probably Will Be Someday And Then We Will Look Out This Window While Tequila Takes a Shit in the Yard and Think of Them Sometimes.”

That could work couldn’t it Queefs?

Of course the Crissys have not run this by their parents yet but so far it seems to be a rock solid plan.

And do not worry or feel left out because the Crissys are going to open up this marvelous opportunity to you Queefs as well!!!

For the low, low price $600 each of you Queefs can have your name on a plaque inside of Crissy’s house that says you donated the window and you can have it say anything you want.

Isn’t that awesome?

Word of the Week:

Tony Danza

From Urban Dictionary: To clarify, the Tony Danza is when you are balls-deep in a woman from behind and while ramming her mercilessly, you proceed to yell, “Who’s the boss?! Who’s the boss, bitch?!” Typically, she will yell, “You are!” at which point you turn her around, slap her with your cock and yell, “No. Tony Danza‘s the boss, bitch”

Crissy gives Turd Ferguson the Tony Danza, and then blogs about it. Why wouldn’t she?

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