Abby Who? Abby Normal.

Crissy had a post all ready for you guys today but then she got a letter in the mail yesterday and it turned into a very important Crissyspage update:

Girlfriend was rejected a second time from the Fucktard Barnyard Snot School.

And they said it was because they expect even the very youngest of children to have a certain demeanor and standard of behavior and Girlfriend does not fit that standard.


Because she acted like a three year old?

What a freak.



But Crissy is confused because she sat through a hour and a half of them telling her and Mister about how they value diversity and how they are progressive in that they honor each child as an individual with a unique personality and learning style and that they never “teach to the test” but prefer to allow each child to discover things on his or her own in his or her own way.



Apparently by “diversity” they mean conformist and a “unique personality” must be one that’s predictable and easily controlled.

And we all know Girlfriend doesn’t play that.

It’s not like Crissy was all that cracked up about it because it was a little stuffy, nay, a lot stuffy and it made Crissy very uncomfortable and what really turned her off is that they didn’t believe in starting kids with reading readiness until kindergarten!!! The place Girlfriend is at now, which by the way has a wonderful reputation and is decidedly not stuffy despite the cunty moms, has already started the 3-ers with reading and to great success so the Barnyard can put that in their hay stack and smoke the shit out of it.

But of course they would never inhale.

And when Crissy called her mom to tell her the news she was very relieved to hear it because she’s been against Girlfriend going there from the start because as she puts it “that place is an asshole factory.”

Crissy is also relieved that they rejected her because it made her feel sad to take her out of the school she likes so much and put her in a snot school. Also she is not surprised that they did not want Girlfriend because she comes from a long line of  crazy bat shit people who don’t really fit in. Even Crissy herself is, and this may come as a bit of a shock to you Queefs, a misfit.  And she still doesn’t get it and she married the resident pervert who is currently working on a coffee table book comprised entirely of pictures taken in every men’s room he goes into and had a kid who is also not like anybody else.  And sometimes Crissy can be seen doing “strange” things around the neighborhood like running around wearing a strap on and a cape or doing a walking demonstration but so what.

(Ladies, if you click on that link you’ll see BREN!! at the end of the video.)

And Crissy suspects that most of you Queefs are also misfits and freak shows because what else would you be doing here and so today Crissy is saying CHEERS.

Cheers to all of us who don’t comply to the standards of behavior.

Cheers to all of the Queefs who are coming with Crissy to paint giant dicks on the school tonight because the hypocrites deserve it so very richly.

And double cheers to the Queef who volunteers to paint giant dicks with his giant dick.

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  1. I wouldn’t consider that a rejection, but a celebration. Who needs STUFFY, when we can have FUN?

    My kids went to a home day care (GASP) with the most loving, WONDERFUL provider. at 15 and 18 they BOTH ask OFTEN to go visit their Lana. They turned out just fine.

    I’m kind of a misfit, too. I’m a wanna be bohemian, yet in a frumpy midwestern mom body.


  2. ANOTHER young frankenstein reference!!!

    mel brooks is the king of all movies-perfect-for-using-lines-from.

    just the other day at lunch with a couple of dudes from a consulting firm, someone was talking about enterprise access points (wireless network devices) being able to track and triangulate rogue APs (those that people just bring in and plug in). once accomplished, they would send garbage packets to the rogue, basically jamming it.

    i said, “there’s something wrong with the radar sir… it appears to be–JAMMED.”

    of course phil got it. the more technical of the two dudes taking us out to lunch got it too, which won him points.

    my boss and the account manager missed it entirely.

  3. Trust me, where so goes to preschool won’t matter much in the long run. Let the kid have fun!! For crying out loud, aren’t they in school long enough? Can I just say (and brag) that my genius daughter DIDN’T GO TO PRESCHOOL. Look at her. GF is much better off having been rejected by the Stuffy Stuffingtons. F them. I’ll help you paint the giant dick. Tell me when and I’ll be there.

  4. I agree with Kelly. Really smart kids do something that schools like that can’t handle. They ask the question . . . Why????

  5. I just want to commend you on the Young Frankenstein reference (one of my all-time favorites!).

    As for that craptastic school – preschool means nothing, regardless of which ones have waiting lists. If my mom had applied for me to go somewhere like that they would have denied me too (I didn’t speak until I was 2 and was a bit of an odd child) and I got a 4.0 in high school.

  6. What’s up with recent trend of preventing kids from being kids? Three year olds are supposed to be unpredictable!

    BTW cool idea painting dicks with dicks. See unpredictable people are just more interesting. 🙂

  7. Funny story. I was kicked out of preschool.

    I never wanted to nap at nap time so they put me in a private room where I would run in circles around a table for an hour just because I wasn’t supposed to.

    One day, they put another little girl in there with me and I showed her what I liked to do. We ran and ran and giggled and ran until a teacher came in and put a stop to it.

    This got me expelled.

    What can I say? I’m a leader among women.

    Kiala’s last blog post: I’m in love again.

  8. Kind of makes me wonder whether the school did a little snooping around and found your blog. Could it be they rejected you and Mister and not Girlfriend? Or maybe they realized your crazy ass dog chases golphers (or whatever freak animal Henry is) and decided that’s not the kind of FAMILY they want involved in their school? Hmmmm. Either way, I say fuck ’em too. As far as private schools go, the East Coast ones breed the biggest assholes. And you don’t need that, now do you?! xoxo.

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Registered!

  9. I’m glad Girlfriend didn’t get in too! There’s no need for her to be hanging out with boring assholes how don’t know how to read! Also, do you have to paint dicks on the building tonight?! That gives me absolutely no time to get there. Sheesh.

    Megkathleen’s last blog post: The Death of Domino

  10. I’m a little stunned to find that you are a misfit. And Girlfriend, too? Huh.

    Anyways, I have enjoyed face painting with my dick for some time. I would love to try it on a building. I am thinking I can do a full comic with four or five panels.

    That dude in the picture is face-painting, too. And let’s not forget that this week’s phrase is Dirty Sanchez. That’s kind of face painting, often with your dick. I’m sensing a theme.

    stoogepie’s last blog post: Happy Biochemical Reaction Day

  11. Who wants to send their kid to a school with an assistant principal named “Haven Starr”?! I have a friend who had her (rather unusual, but extremely smart) son there for 6th grade and he left after a couple weeks. The teacher wanted the class to write some essay that was essentially all about how wonderful SHE was. It seems the school thinks a little too highly of themselves! It’s staffed by RIC education professors and education students. What do THEY know about the teaching in the real world?! I say tell ’em to “bite me”.

  12. Misfit is good. I’m one. I realized this once when I attended a really good movie, and was the only one in the theater. I felt sheepish at the time, but now I see myself doing lots of things that others don’t do. screw everyone else, I’m just being myself.

  13. Young Frankenstein!
    You have gone up SOOOO many notches on my wonderbar… and you were already WAY up there!

    They should BE so lucky to have ROYALTY there!
    Also, for a school that makes it so hard to get into, who are they to put a cap on what the kids should learn when? Aren’t they supposed to be challenging them and trying to produce the best and the brightest? Sounds like it does only teach the kids how to be assholes.

    Better off, I say! If I lived even remotely near you, I’d be there to help paint a penis on the school.

    I like it here with all the other Abbys. I feel at home and understood. Thank you!

    Ceci’s last blog post: ‘Cause it’s Friday

  14. Let’s be clear about a few things….

    If you lived in my area, you’d fit RIGHT IN with my “mom friends” at our school….and Girlfriend would be friends with my daugher!

    That school’s loss is another school’s gain!

    Girlfriend ROCKS and she worked it so that snotnose school didn’t accept her!

    Your mom ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!

    Kiala – you are my new hero. I love someone who was kicked out of preschool and coerced another to join in your antics!

  15. The school in the picture was done by someone in my daughter’s senior class at Plano Senior High School in Plano, TX. Funny thing is…they didn’t even realize it was there for months after school was out and then said on the news that they were “sure they would identify the culprits and deal with them!” What…check for DNA? It’s not a real one, losers!!

  16. Hahaha. The picture is so hilarious. I think only he can do that type of “face painting”. 😉 Why not try face painting animals, it’s more appropriate. =) And when done correctly, it will really make the person stand out from the crowd. =).

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