So last night while Crissy was making dinner her mom called.
She was sitting in her kitchen waiting for her friends to come and pick her up for dinner at a wonderful restaurant followed by a Barry Manilow concert.
And she was talking about how excited she was to be going to see Barry and she about swoons and wets her pants every time she talks about him–” Barry, Barry, oh Baaaaarrrrryyyy he’s so hot!”
Crissy is fairly positive that on those Lonely Nights with her rabbit when she’s not fantasizing about being en flagrante delicto with an undercover state trooper, her mom thinks about Barry and maybe instead of watching COPS she even puts in a little Fanilow porn to enhance the mood:
But Crissy doesn’t really like to think about that because it makes her want to kill herself a little bit.
And she said she put on her cutest outfit for him and when Crissy asked if she remembered to put on new panties and a new bra just in case she gets lucky and Barry invites her backstage for a blow job and a maybe a little finger bang she gasped and exclaimed “OH MY GOD!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT TO BRING A BRA!!! GOTTAGOBYE!!!”
And then she hung up on Crissy.
And Crissy went about stirring the pot of swill she was preparing for dinner when the sun started coming over the mountain and it began to dawn on Crissy.
What does she mean by “forgot to bring a bra?”
Knowing Crissy’s mother and how wonderfully luscious her boobies are for a sixtywhateveryearold it’s very safe to assume that she was already wearing one so what was the spare one for….?
…?
…?
SHE’S PLANNING TO THROW HER BRA AT BARRY MANILOW!!!!
And this would not be blogworthy but it is totally out of character for Linda to do something like that. Crissy would have figured her for a thong tosser but not a bra thrower.
She’s losing her touch.
Clearly.
And in other news, this morning while getting dressed Girlfriend put her panties on her head and danced around making fart noises while shaking her naked bum around Crissy’s room.
So yes.
We’re all stocked up on crazy here.
But that’s not news, really.
It’s just normal.
AND!!!
Crissy needs to thank you Queefs for clicking the ads yesterday! You earned her $10.00! It’s about 80 cents per click so you guys better come here from now on and click your assess off or else you will be de-queefed and you don’t want that do you?
clickyclickyclickyclickyclicky……don’t be shy.
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I will *neva* understand people’s fascination with Manilow.
Not neva.
HE’S THE GERSHWIN OF OUR TIMES!!!!!! That’s what my bff’s mommy says…
Kelly’s last blog post: Want To Go Fisticuffs With The Polish Princess?
I get it. That’s how you’re gonna make that $5,000 difference between how much $$ you have and how much the new windows will cost. Have a click-it contest. Get your readers to do the work for you. And just hope as strong as you can that you don’t have to use said money to bail your bra-tossing mother out of jail!
SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Appreciation
My son has that same nude ass shaking syndrome! And he likes to run at warp speed up and down the hallway and I try to tell him his little peen can get knocked off if he falls. He thinks it can be glued back on or something.
Your mom is too cool! LOL!
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I wish Linda all the luck with the whole Manilow thing.
Matt’s last blog post: Go ahead. Call me Cupid
You can tell Linda that I said “Good for you Linda! Get yours!”
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Maybe Girlfriend heard that Barry is in town and is practicing for her own tribute. Bra and thong tossing is so passé. I hear dancing around with your panties on your head is the thing. You might want to pass this tidbit along to Linda.
Dingo’s last blog post: I Should’ve Used A Car Wash
Not to be a downer, but if the ad network sees you asking for clicks, they might kick you off. Just an FYI, bc it happened to my friend and I would be very sad if happened to you. Okay, back to lurking.
My dad took my mom to see Burt Reynolds once. She bought this long t-shirt that said “I spent the night with Burt Reynolds” on it. She wore it to bed all the time and thought it was great. Yeah thanks, mom. Just what I needed – a visual of you and the giant mustache. Extra creepy? my dad sported one of those giant mustaches back in the day.
Diana prefers to take off her pants and shirt, dance around in her underwear singing “I’d rather be naked, I’d rather be naked!”
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Putting my underwear on my head and dancing around is something I do, so Girlfriend and I have something in common.
Chris’s last blog post: one and the same
girlfriend learned all her moves from me.
just so you know.
Is it funny or just a little sad that one of your sponsors today is Capital One?
Bwahahahaha! That’s awesome! Just pure awesome.
I’m going to go click now…
i’m actually downloading “the ultimate manilow” as we speak.
@ Pimp- WHY? I think she already has it.
Her name was Kiala…she was a showgirl…with yellow feathers in her hair ….and a dress cut down to there…
Sorry.
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Wait, where’s you mom’s comment? Was Barry last night? Maybe she’s still in his dressing room! We need the follow up from Linda!
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I wonder if Barry puts underwear on his head and dances around naked? Probably.
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The Copacabana is a regular at our house. I get to be Lola.
Most of the time.
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Wow, that pic of Barry makes him look like a troll or a gremlin or something totally creepy that would haunt me in my dreams.
And girlfriend dancing w/ her underware on her head? Priceless. That is totally awesome.
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Damn he looks weird there…not hot..not at all.
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I really hope Linda got lucky! My fingers are crossed.
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I’m trying to think who my mom would throw her bra at if given the choice… I’m gonna go with John Stewart. Which is creepy because I’d probably pick the same. Also it’d be awkward on a talk show.
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Crissy, you don’t dance naked with your underwear on your head? Because I do. But only for special occasions.
I need an army of Queefs to clicky clicky my ads. My cats won’t get The Retardation from licking the windows here (as far as I know), but catnip doesn’t pay for itself. I a
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Damn it. Maybe I’ve been licking the windows too much. I am attempting to grow a grass-like substance (FOR MY CATS) in the kitchen cupboard in case the ads fall through.
Heidi Renée’s last blog post: Keyword Roundup, Volume 7
Your mom is a bra thrower?! AWESOME! My mom once told me that she loved Barry too. Let’s hope she never threw her bra at him.
All I want out of life is for women to throw bras and thongs at me instead of the other things they throw now.
This story is incomplete without a picture of your mom’s wonderfully luscious boobies.
stoogepie’s last blog post: Happy Black History Month
Ew. My husband’s grandmother took us all to Manilow. It was a much more comfortable situation than the time they took her to Vagina Monologues. Who knew grandma knew the definition of cunt.
Dolce’s last blog post: Larry David would explain this best
I never understood the throwing of bras or thongs. I mean… I’m sure MOST of them are clean but what about the sickos who think you’ll be turned on by their pink-stink???
Do you think Barry picks out the one he likes and dances around wearing them?? Or do you think he has a hazmat team come and take them all to the incinerator?
Ceci’s last blog post: Random
Again…The ads are for impoverished people but not for “Get the Crissy’s new windows” or “Get the Crissy’s a new mattress (with free mattress slut)”…
And Crissy can attest to the fact that SOME folks are wanting the “fragrant panties”…
MsDarkstar’s last blog post: It wasn’t my idea (and I was not prepared)…
Oh no, Crissy. I love the third-person narration, but today it confused me, and I thought Crissy was the one talking about how excited she was to be going to see Barry and how she about swoons and wets her pants every time she talks about him.
Whew!
jeannie’s last blog post: cutest thing eva
I love it when Kenzie puts on her pink boots and dances in her B-day suit.
I clicked your ad for you
A friend of mine is a HUGE Bon Jovi fan and has HUGE tatas. Tried to get her to flash him but she wouldn’t go for it.
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