Her name was Linda…La, la, la, na, na.

So last night while Crissy was making dinner her mom called.

She was sitting in her kitchen waiting for her friends to come and pick her up for dinner at a wonderful restaurant followed by a Barry Manilow concert.

And she was talking about how excited she was to be going to see Barry and she about swoons and wets her pants every time she talks about him–“ Barry, Barry, oh Baaaaarrrrryyyy he’s so hot!”

Crissy is fairly positive that on those Lonely Nights with her rabbit when she’s not fantasizing about being en flagrante delicto with an undercover state trooper, her mom thinks about Barry and maybe instead of watching COPS she even puts in a little Fanilow porn to enhance the mood:

But Crissy doesn’t really like to think about that because it makes her want to kill herself a little bit.

And she said she put on her cutest outfit for him and when Crissy asked if she remembered to put on new panties and a new bra just in case she gets lucky and Barry invites her backstage for a blow job and a maybe a little finger bang she gasped and exclaimed “OH MY GOD!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT TO BRING A BRA!!! GOTTAGOBYE!!!”

And then she hung up on Crissy.

And Crissy went about stirring the pot of swill she was preparing for dinner when the sun started coming over the mountain and it began to dawn on Crissy.

What does she mean by “forgot to bring a bra?”

Knowing Crissy’s mother and how wonderfully luscious her boobies are for a sixtywhateveryearold it’s very safe to assume that she was already wearing one so what was the spare one for….?

…?

…?

SHE’S PLANNING TO THROW HER BRA AT BARRY MANILOW!!!!

And this would not be blogworthy but it is totally out of character for Linda to do something like that. Crissy would have figured her for a thong tosser but not a bra thrower.

She’s losing her touch.

Clearly.

And in other news, this morning while getting dressed Girlfriend put her panties on her head and danced around making fart noises while shaking her naked bum around Crissy’s room.

So yes.

We’re all stocked up on crazy here.

But that’s not news, really.

It’s just normal.

AND!!!

Crissy needs to thank you Queefs for clicking the ads yesterday! You earned her $10.00! It’s about 80 cents per click so you guys better come here from now on and click your assess off or else you will be de-queefed and you don’t want that do you?

clickyclickyclickyclickyclicky……don’t be shy.

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34 comments

  1. I get it. That’s how you’re gonna make that $5,000 difference between how much $$ you have and how much the new windows will cost. Have a click-it contest. Get your readers to do the work for you. And just hope as strong as you can that you don’t have to use said money to bail your bra-tossing mother out of jail!

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Appreciation

  2. My son has that same nude ass shaking syndrome! And he likes to run at warp speed up and down the hallway and I try to tell him his little peen can get knocked off if he falls. He thinks it can be glued back on or something.

    Your mom is too cool! LOL!

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post: I’m Old As Dirt

  3. Not to be a downer, but if the ad network sees you asking for clicks, they might kick you off. Just an FYI, bc it happened to my friend and I would be very sad if happened to you. Okay, back to lurking. 🙂

  4. My dad took my mom to see Burt Reynolds once. She bought this long t-shirt that said “I spent the night with Burt Reynolds” on it. She wore it to bed all the time and thought it was great. Yeah thanks, mom. Just what I needed – a visual of you and the giant mustache. Extra creepy? my dad sported one of those giant mustaches back in the day.

  5. Wow, that pic of Barry makes him look like a troll or a gremlin or something totally creepy that would haunt me in my dreams.

    And girlfriend dancing w/ her underware on her head? Priceless. That is totally awesome.

    Kellie’s last blog post: I See The Light!!!

  6. Crissy, you don’t dance naked with your underwear on your head? Because I do. But only for special occasions.

    I need an army of Queefs to clicky clicky my ads. My cats won’t get The Retardation from licking the windows here (as far as I know), but catnip doesn’t pay for itself. I a

    Heidi Renée’s last blog post: Keyword Roundup, Volume 7

  7. I never understood the throwing of bras or thongs. I mean… I’m sure MOST of them are clean but what about the sickos who think you’ll be turned on by their pink-stink???

    Do you think Barry picks out the one he likes and dances around wearing them?? Or do you think he has a hazmat team come and take them all to the incinerator?

    Ceci’s last blog post: Random

  8. Oh no, Crissy. I love the third-person narration, but today it confused me, and I thought Crissy was the one talking about how excited she was to be going to see Barry and how she about swoons and wets her pants every time she talks about him.

    Whew!

    jeannie’s last blog post: cutest thing eva

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