Crissy takes it in the pooper.

You know how Captial One is always all “no hassle” about stuff?
Yeah?

Well they’re not. They’re all “all bullshit” about stuff and Crissy is so, so mad you guys.

Do you know what fucking happened?

Crissy will fucking tell you what fucking happened.

It all started months ago at Christmas time when Mister had a billing problem with Webair and he called them and at first they apologized and said it was a computer error and that the Crissy’s didn’t really owe $600 and so we didn’t worry.

And then Mister gets another bill for another $600 like a week later.

So he calls them again and this time they say we DO owe the money and the money from last time that they said was a mistake because there were “overages” but they cannot prove it or tell him what constitutes an “overage.” It’s like going over your cell phone minutes but not knowing what your limit is and not being able to find out.

So Mister tells them they’re total cunts and to suck his giant dick and goes to Capital One to tell them not to pay it. And Capital One is all “Sure! Don’t you worry about a thing Mister Crissy. You just send us your documents and we’ll send our sword weilding barbarians over to Webair to take some motherfuckers out for you.”

And then they didn’t fucking do it.

They claim that Webair says we owe the money.

Well smack Crissy in the ass and call her Judy.

OF COURSE THEY SAY THAT!!!

And now the Crissys have to pay $1,200 in bullshit money they don’t owe in the first fucking place because Webair and Capital One are douchetards.

Do you Queefs know what $1,200 could do for the Crissys????

It could replace the stairs o’ death that lead to the Crissy’s back yard:

_MG_9135

Look how scared Alice is to use them!!! There’s no railing and they’re steep as hell and there’s no landing and poor little Alice has fallen off of them and into the recycling bin on more than one occasion.

$1,200 could buy the Crissy’s a mattress to replace the 11 year old one that Turtle-like Bovine Crissy cannot get out of without help because it’s so soft and squishy after so many years of wild sexual escapades use.

Maybe a new mattress even comes with the Free Mattress Slut but The Crissys wouldn’t know because they cannot afford one.

What about a fancy new refrigerator that doesn’t freeze Crissy’s lettuce and doesn’t develop rust down the front on a humid day?

Apparently those come with not one but TWO little Asian bitches that Crissy cannot have because again, Crissy cannot afford it.

Somewhere out there there’s a Webair fuckfaceasshole and a Capital One shitbag climbing up death-free steps and screwing a Free Mattress Slut and afterwards enjoying non-frozen lettuce prepared for them by two Asian bitches and it’s ALL ON CRISSY’S FUCKING MONEY!!!!

And that’s not even it!!!

On Monday Capital One sent The Crissys a letter informing them that due to “touch economic times” they are raising our interest rate from 12% to 19%!!!

AND!!!

AND!!!!

We got the bids in for our window job (Crissy swears we’re almost at the end of the windows saga, please let it be true, and then she will shut up about the windows already) and they all came in around $20,000. Problem is that the state lead loan program will only lend us $15,000.

So even with the loan, the Crissy’s cannot afford it.

And this puts Taco as a baby putting everything in his/her mouth at significant risk for catching The Retardation.

Fucked again!!!

Woo-hoo!!

If you’ll excuse Crissy she has to go have a stroke now.

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32 comments

  1. I’ve got the local hospital STILL contacting me about monies they think I owe, but I shouldn’t have to pay because insurance is supposed to cover it, but the danged doctor STILL hasn’t sent in the right forms to Blue Cross/Blue Shield and so BC/BS won’t pay it even though they’ve told me it will be covered once the right forms come in. So the hospital wants me to pay for something their own employee can fix and I CAN”T????? Did I mention I received these services on or around February 2007?

  2. 1) I’m never using Webair. Or Capital One. I hate their commercials anyway.

    2) That picture of Alice rocks.

    3) Try negotiating with the window people. Tell them that just like your credit card company raising your interest rate from 12% to 19%, it’s tough economic times and you’ve only got $15,000 to spend. See what they say? Construction is down. Times are tough for everyone. They just might jump at that chance to have a legitimate job, ya know?

    SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Gifting

  3. I love the credit card people. I just keep saying no, I won’t accept that. And guess what? When they get pissed at you for not agreeing and call YOU an asstwat? You can sue them! Yippee!

    I got some serious medical bills taken care of that way.

    k8’s last blog post: Therapy Tuesday

  4. This sucks ass. Fuck Capital One.

    Hey, what’s in Capital One’s wallet? Your taxes. Capital One got bailout money to the tune of $3.5 billion even though it hasn’t invested in a mortgage in more than a decade. It immediately used some of that money to outbid Citicorp to buy a failing bank and then raised interest rates on thousands of cardholders like you. Welcome to the new ecomony.

    What the fuck is a Webair?

    At least you have some really sweet family leave coming up, right? Right?

    stoogepie’s last blog post: Happy Black History Month

  5. Webair and Capital One are Douches!! I did hear that they are trying to pass a bill to temporarily prevent credit card companies from raising people’s rates. Maybe it’ll be retroactive? Meanwhile, I’ll be clicking your adds!

    Megkathleen’s last blog post: It is gooder than good

  6. Yeah, I think if Cap 1 wasn’t already charging me their highest interest rates, they’d be jacking me, too. Like Chase, who bought out WaMu (who bought out Providian),who decided they were going to DOUBLE my interest rate.

    I do find it rather amusing that the ads that pop up on Crissy’s website are always for impoverished people but never “Help the Crissy’s get new windows”… WTF? I’d much prefer to help someone I know and like get something they want/need than pay the salaries of a bunch of smug “charity” workers salaries.

    MsDarkstar’s last blog post: Balance – A Reminder….

  7. Crissy, tell them you’re going to call your state’s department of consumer protection, or something to that effect. I’ve done that and had more or less positive results…..should put the fear of the lord into them.

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