You know how Captial One is always all “no hassle” about stuff?
Yeah?

Well they’re not. They’re all “all bullshit” about stuff and Crissy is so, so mad you guys.

Do you know what fucking happened?

Crissy will fucking tell you what fucking happened.

It all started months ago at Christmas time when Mister had a billing problem with Webair and he called them and at first they apologized and said it was a computer error and that the Crissy’s didn’t really owe $600 and so we didn’t worry.

And then Mister gets another bill for another $600 like a week later.

So he calls them again and this time they say we DO owe the money and the money from last time that they said was a mistake because there were “overages” but they cannot prove it or tell him what constitutes an “overage.” It’s like going over your cell phone minutes but not knowing what your limit is and not being able to find out.

So Mister tells them they’re total cunts and to suck his giant dick and goes to Capital One to tell them not to pay it. And Capital One is all “Sure! Don’t you worry about a thing Mister Crissy. You just send us your documents and we’ll send our sword weilding barbarians over to Webair to take some motherfuckers out for you.”

And then they didn’t fucking do it.

They claim that Webair says we owe the money.

Well smack Crissy in the ass and call her Judy.

OF COURSE THEY SAY THAT!!!

And now the Crissys have to pay $1,200 in bullshit money they don’t owe in the first fucking place because Webair and Capital One are douchetards.

Do you Queefs know what $1,200 could do for the Crissys????

It could replace the stairs o’ death that lead to the Crissy’s back yard:

Look how scared Alice is to use them!!! There’s no railing and they’re steep as hell and there’s no landing and poor little Alice has fallen off of them and into the recycling bin on more than one occasion.

$1,200 could buy the Crissy’s a mattress to replace the 11 year old one that Turtle-like Bovine Crissy cannot get out of without help because it’s so soft and squishy after so many years of wild sexual escapades use.

Maybe a new mattress even comes with the Free Mattress Slut but The Crissys wouldn’t know because they cannot afford one.

What about a fancy new refrigerator that doesn’t freeze Crissy’s lettuce and doesn’t develop rust down the front on a humid day?

Apparently those come with not one but TWO little Asian bitches that Crissy cannot have because again, Crissy cannot afford it.

Somewhere out there there’s a Webair fuckfaceasshole and a Capital One shitbag climbing up death-free steps and screwing a Free Mattress Slut and afterwards enjoying non-frozen lettuce prepared for them by two Asian bitches and it’s ALL ON CRISSY’S FUCKING MONEY!!!!

And that’s not even it!!!

On Monday Capital One sent The Crissys a letter informing them that due to “touch economic times” they are raising our interest rate from 12% to 19%!!!

AND!!!

AND!!!!

We got the bids in for our window job (Crissy swears we’re almost at the end of the windows saga, please let it be true, and then she will shut up about the windows already) and they all came in around $20,000. Problem is that the state lead loan program will only lend us $15,000.

So even with the loan, the Crissy’s cannot afford it.

And this puts Taco as a baby putting everything in his/her mouth at significant risk for catching The Retardation.

Fucked again!!!

Woo-hoo!!

If you’ll excuse Crissy she has to go have a stroke now.

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