Last year at this time as some of you Queefs might remember and some of you might not, Crissy brought Girlfriend to a fancy snot school for an admissions assessment. Girlfriend had been on the waiting list for said assessment since birth and it was finally her turn.
It didn’t go well Queefs.
Poor Girlfriend was only 2 years old and had never been left with strangers before and, well, when Crissy tried to drop her off with the assessment peoples Girlfriend lost her shit and while Principal La-di-da Snotingsteen and the other snot school types were La-di-daing and hoyty-toytying on about Piaget’s theories on early childhood learning, Girlfriend could be heard screaming from down the hallway.
They came to get Crissy and Crissy had to sit with Girlfriend for the 2 hour long assessment. She did extremely well except for the part where she had to sit in circle time and listen to a story. Girlfriend decided it would be way more fun to try and make one of the boys put on a set of fairy wings and when that didn’t fly (hahahahaha!!! Crissy is so funny! Get it? Wings? Fly? hahahahahaha!!!) she decided to roll around on her back with her legs spread wide apart in the air instead.
She had on a dress.
And don’t a single one of you say “she’s a chip off the ol’ block!” because Crissy will punch you in the face.
Did Crissy mention the part where Girlfriend got down on the floor and started acting like a dog? Or how she crawled under a table and shouted “YOU’RE STUPID!!!!I’LL NEVER DO IT!!! NEVER!!!” at the teachers?
And not surprisingly an hour later Crissy got a call from Principal La-ti-da Snotingsteen telling her that usually they send out their acceptance/ rejection letters in March or April but that they wanted to let Crissy know right away that Girlfriend did not get in.
Well Fuck. Fucking.You.
And then Principal La-ti-da Snotingsteen said that Girlfriend was obviously a “smart little cookie” but that she just wasn’t ready for the “demanding environment of Henry Barnard School.”
Well Fuck. Fucking. You. Twice.
We’re talking about glorified daycare here! What “demanding environment” could there possibly be? Is the play dough there special? Is it made of math?
And Crissy was also confused because it seems to her that it would be normal for a 2 year old who has never been without her mommy before to flip her noodle.
And then he said they’d like to see her back in a year to re-assess.
And last week Crissy got the call from Twyla Twattington, Twat in charge of assessment scheduling, inviting Girlfriend back for another run at it.
And Crissy is still pissed off about last year but she still wouldn’t mind if Girlfriend went there because it’s a really, really good school and it’s hard to get in. So hard, in fact, that Crissy got a letter congratulating her on getting in for an assessment.
And also it’s on the college campus where Mister works and it means Crissy wouldn’t have to drop Girlfriend off at school anymore which would be awesome because you know how Crissy’s panties get in a twist every day she has to do it.
So today we go back there at 10:30 for round two and it’s a mystery as to which Girlfriend will show up because Girlfriend is a Gemini and Geminis are a royal pain in the ass. Did Crissy mention that there’s no chance Taco won’t be a Gemini and now Crissy will have two of them? Or four depending on how many personalities we’re counting here.
Will it be this Girlfriend?
Or this one?
Crissy will keep you posted.
But let Crissy just say that if they reject her again Crissy is likely to Do Something Regrettable like plan a midnight run to spray paint giant dicks on the side of the school or something equally bad.
Crissy knows you Queefs will come with her.