Almost as embarrassing as spelling embarrassing wrong in the title and being too lazy to go back and fix it.
So yesterday when Crissy picked Girlfriend up at school the principal pulled Crissy to the side and said “you know, your daughter is the Queen of Everything around here.” Crissy almost fell over and said “Well, I’m the Queen of Fucking Everything so that makes sense.” But she didn’t and then the teacher went on to describe how Girlfriend has all the other kids helping her put on her snowsuit and pack her backpack even though everyone knows full well she can do it herself.
Crissy is raising her right Queefs. She will take over the kingdom one day. She’s already building her entourage and it is comprised entirely of boys!!
The pride is just welling up inside of Crissy right now.
And in other news the Crissys were invited to a Roller Skating birthday party last night for Girlfriend’s little friend Ocean. Crissy knows the name is a little weird, but the kid’s eyes are more blue and more beautiful than the Caribbean and so the name is going to do big things for her some day.
This is Girlfriend and Ocean when they were just little babies:
Please ignore Crissy’s enormous boobs and fat arm. Girlfriend was only about two months old in this picture.
That’s Mister’s bff Bren. He’s hot, right? Crissy spends a lot of time with Mister and Bren. Crissy may or may not have some serious fantasies about well…never mind.
And here they are at 4 and almost 4:
Girlfriend did a wonderful job skating for the first time because she has Crissy’s innate sense of balance and grace:
And here’s Ocean with her daddy, Bren:
See what Crissy means Queefs? Mister and Bren look hot together.
Bow chica bow bow…
What Crissy is trying to say is look how cute the little girls are!!!
And don’t worry Queefs. Crissy did not put on skates. Crissy fell down even without skates because some brat was hurling at fifty thousand miles per hour right toward Crissy and Taco and Girlfriend and so Crissy had to do an awkward and ungainly a fast maneuver to protect her children and when you’re pregnant your center is gravity is totally fucked.
You guys are mean.
There’s no picture because lucky for Crissy and that little fucker who nearly killed us nobody saw what happened.
Crissy would tell you more fascinating details of her evening but you really don’t give a rat’s ass and also because it’s 7:12 and Crissy is way, way behind and this chick is waiting to work out with Crissy: