Crissy Loves Richard and She Doesn’t Care Who Knows It.

And somewhere right now Crissy’s friend Michele just peed her pants a little bit because that’s her husband’s name.

But Crissy doesn’t mean Michele’s Richard:

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But the worshipping is rather nice.

And she doesn’t mean this Richard:

Although, you know.

YUM.

Crissy means this one:

And she loves him in a way that isn’t even right or appropriate or anything.

Crissy wants to keep him as her pet poodle and she wants him to hold her when she cries and give her a pep talk when she needs one in that very special sparkly way that only Richard has.

And Crissy wants to know why Mister isn’t her little poodle.

She bedazzled all his wife beaters for him so WTF?

You Queefs have seen the way Richard comforts and loves people and cries with them and encourages them.

RIGHT?

Tell Crissy you don’t need him too and Crissy will shout “liar, liar, pants on fire!” right at you because everybody needs cute little glittery fuzzy headed Richard.

And if you don’t there’s something wrong with you.

Most of all though Queefs, Crissy needs Richard in her kitchen every morning to make her a banana mango smoothie, tell her she’s pretty, smack her on the ass, and then lead her in an hour of Disco Sweat.

Doesn’t that sound wonderful?

If any of you Queefs can make that happen Crissy would be eternally grateful and may even bestow upon you the title of Royal Twidget Shaver because Crissy can’t see hers anymore.

Or maybe Richard would want to help her with that too…

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