1. When we adopt a kid, I’m still wearing maternity pants to get the whole experience. Plus I’m eating until I get enough cheese blow to fill out the stretchy.

  2. Those pants are so bad, they make small children cry.

    Srsly though, Maternity pants are the devil. My ass looked horrible for the last 6 months, and I’m pretty sure my crotch was around my knees most of the time as well.

    And WTF was Old Navy thinking?

    P.S. I love the porn hair.

  3. Maternity pants…  Ahhhh.  I’m seven months out of those things and SO happy that I never have to wear them again!!!!!  Seriously, what about the kind that are “low riders” with “real waists”?  Don’t bend, don’t move, don’t dare sit!  They will come off!  Nothing like prego ass crack to spice up the office on a Wednesday!

  4. I wouldn’t say it was really porn hair. It’s kick ass Charlie’s Angels hair.  Did you do a drop and roll out of the salon doors?  That would’ve been cool.   Especially in maternity pants.

  5. Bwahaha!! Girlfriend cried at the fashion show.

    Here’s an idea. Have people sign and draw on the 2 foot wide elastic waist band like how they sign broken people’s cast.  It’ll spice it  up a bit.  I kill me…

  6. Diana watched this with me and was freaking out when she heard Girlfriend crying “I CAN HEAR THE BABY IN HER BELLY CRYING!!!!”

    P.S. I ordered Old Navy maternity over the internet, they ssuuuuccccckkkkkeeeedddd

  7. Funny and yet educational.  I’m in Bella Band stage because maternity pants scare the piss out of me. Especially those Old Navy ones.

    In all seriousness…where did you get the cute(er) ones.

  8. You should obviously be receiving gratuitous FREE stuff from Old Navy, being such a great spokesperson.

    And as an afterthought, I think the waistband is for Chuck E. Cheese day–so that you too can not look prego, but just like you have one badass muffin top.

  9. It’s hot… It’s like the showing the thongs of yesteryear but now it gives the illusion of granny panties… way to bring in the new style!! I hope this one sticks for a while!!

  10. Oh god, I think my IUD just magically got more effective. Charlotte and Archie are going to make the cutest couple. Like tomorrow when we marry them off and stick them in your basement to figure out life as newlyweds. Or we can put them in my basement, except it’s not finished.

  11. I’m just sitting here thinking about all the brownies I could eat in those pants.

    And I could keep some extra ones in the waistband of those Old Navy ones.


  12. I actually worked at a maternity store for several years in college and I have to tell you we used to be told to try and talk pregnant women into buying the horrible maternity pants in an effort to get rid of our inventory because they weren’t selling enough and I REFUSED. Are you kidding me?! They had enough going on without having to wear ill fitting pants. I tell you. Anyway, stick with the first ones – they’re very cute.

  13. Jesus – I agree with Melissa – my IUD is pumping out progesterone like it’s going out of style.

    Also – the hair looks exquisite. And the first jeans make your ass look bomb! Please post more. Just of your hair. Or your ass. Or both.

  14. Nordstrom used to have this pregnancy kit with maternity leggings. I lived in those clothes for months. They had to be burned at the end…

    Btw, have you not heard of adding a little bourbon in the milk prior to naptime? They sleep longer… and really, aren’t we all a little more sympathetic to a hangover?

  15. Crissy … I hope this makes you feel better:  Even though I am not pregnant, I still have to pull my pants up the way you did on pants pair #2 when I am at the grocery store or at Target or wherever I am.  Sometimes I even have to do it at work, or in front of my daughters’ friends.

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