Spousal Humiliation is Fun!

Wasn’t yesterday fun Queefs?

Turns out that trying to humiliate your spouse is like the best thing ever!

And the consequences are even better! Crissy’s bum is all warm and hurty today. She’s not gonna shit right for a week! What? Who said that? That’s so inappropriate!

Truth be told though Queefs, that whole thing could have been much, much, nastier because if you didn’t notice already, the Crissys are picture people and if you don’t think Mister’s camera has come into the boudoir once or twice you are clearly smoking crack.

And speaking of smoking crack, Crissy is going slumming today at Saver’s to drop off some donations and also to buy some big kid puzzles for Girlfriend because all of a sudden she’s a genius at building them and it keeps her quiet for about a half an hour and that, dear Queefs, is better than Benedryl anything because it means that Crissy doesn’t have to yell “GET OFF THE DOG!!!!LEAVE! HER! ALONE!” a hundred times per second.

And after that we’ll go to the grocery store to buy some Ezekiel bread. Has anyone else noticed that if you don’t put that shit in the freezer it gets all green and furry in like a day? WTF?

So hopefully Girlfriend will be in a good mood and Crissy will have a good day and she won’t want to kill herself by the time Mister gets home.

Thank Jesus Crissy has just the one kid–

Oh.

Wait.

FUCK!!!

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29 comments

  1. So, back to yesterday … you now must provide us the story behind hugging the porcelain shrine. I mean seriously, you can’t let Mister get away with that and not give us the goods.

  2. @ Nilsa- To be honest, I don’t remember throwing up and passing out that night.  I thought I remembered everything but apparently not.  And, as I found out yesterday, there are other, more compromising pictures that were taken that night too.  THANK GOD! He didn’t choose to share any of those!

  3. Here’s to Taco being a mellow baby!  Our second is supper chill, the polar opposite of her crazy older brother.  My theory was that she got stuck  listening to him in utero and just wants him to shut up!

  4. Mister left the house this morning with a box full of Crissy’s old pictures tucked under his arm and I won’t be around for most of the day so please.
    All you Queefs with Crissy’s cell number please shoot Crissy a text if he gets her good.

    Apparently, this is not over.

  5. We’re concerned he might have hurt your bum in your delicate state of Taco propagation. Please post pictures to reassure us you’re okay.

  6. Have you ever mixed two puzzles together just to see what happens? Keeps them quieter much, much longer. Because they can never FINISH IT!

  7. wow crissy. Mister has shown me some interesting pics this morning. My only question is where on earth did you get anal beads that shape and that size????

  8. Dramamine, or any medicine for motion sickness, is my favorite kiddie candy when daddy needs some quiet time.  The best game to play with the kids is hide and go to the bar (aka strip club).  By time the kid gets to 100 I have $100 cash in hand.  Its a win, win, win! 

  9. I recently I discovered that my husband is incapable of doing puzzles.  I raced him; me-100 pieces, him-45.  I killed him!  The best was Diana running around the house singing “Mommy won!  Mommy won!”

  10. This is one of those posts that makes me thankful I no longer have a spouse.
    And, since it is too late to change course, I will refrain from commenting on the realization that you are soon going to have two children, each thinking it is THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING EVAR! (And I would imagine Mister, Alice and Big Pussy will also cop that ‘tude)

    Shelly – don’t feel bad… I don’t have any cool blogosphere’s people’s phone numbers, either. 

  11. My girlfriend and I were having an arguement and I flopped my cock out and pissed on her! Got her good too!

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