And the winner is LYNNE!!!
Nude & Brewed won with 25 votes and this thrills Crissy to no end because it means that Crissy doesn’t have to dick around getting people’s addresses and stuff and she doesn’t have to ship the boobie mug because she sees Lynne every. single. day.
So yay Lynne! 25 people think you’re wicked smot!
And thus concludes Crissy’s first contest ever.
That was fun.
So next we have the wet tee shirt contest. Details on that later.
Now what the hell is Crissy going to write about today?
Should she speculate as to why she saw two of her neighbors dragging somebody’s Christmas tree down the street in the middle of a snow storm? Neither of them are very smart so the explanation probably isn’t very complicated. Michele will probably be able to guess which two neighbors Crissy is talking about.
Perhaps Crissy and the Queefs should ponder why some asshole felt the need to come over here the other day and tell Crissy she doesn’t make a positive contribution to the world. Why people gotta hate?
Maybe Crissy will cry bitter tears of remorse because her goddess, her idol, her most favoritest Kathy Griffin is coming to NY next month and Crissy has already spent her NY money on bringing Girlfriend to the fucking stupid Rockettes? Do you see what a doting and selfless mother Crissy is? It’s almost sick, isn’t it?
Who other than Kathy Griffin and Crissy would tell an Emmy Award audience to suck her dick?
Nobody. And who other than Crissy and Kathy have such a large gay following? Nobody. That’s why Crissy and Kathy should be together. That’s what makes this a tragedy Queefs.
Should Crissy ask any Queefs who have been pregnant to explain to Mister why it is unadvisable and quite frankly unsafe and stupid to wake a deeply sleeping pregnant woman by poking her in the ass with your wenis?
Maybe Crissy will ask the Queefs what their favorite baby names are because all Crissy is coming up with are names like Zinnia and Poppy and even though Poppy is a lovely name, Poppy is an artist and a fruit loop and even though the world needs artists and fruit loops just like we need geniuses and perverts (I’m looking at YOU Mister and Stoogie) does Crissy really want one bringing her performance artist boyfriend named Marrs home for Thanksgiving and explaining to Crissy’s grandfather how he smears his naked great granddaughter with peanut butter and puts her on stage as part of his latest “performance piece?” No. Not really. So a little help in the naming department would be appreciated.
Should Crissy complain that Girlfriend keeps coming in here and bothering Crissy every two seconds and so Crissy cannot think to even come up with anything to write about?
Will Crissy just pack it in already and admit that A) This post is a piece of shit and B) a piece of shit is all she can do today?
That’s what Crissy will do.