Crissy Wants Your Creative Juice

First Crissy would like to send a shout out to bff Rachel for ending their conversation last night with a solid decision on how many Fiber One products a person can consume in one day and live to tell the tale. Turns out it’s about three and then you’ve gone to plaid.

Anyone who gets that reference–High Five!

Anyone consuming more than three Fiber One products in one day had better wear a helmet or something.

Also, today is Crissy’s 300th post!

Woo. Hoo.

And now Crissy would like to thank everyone for their wonderful and creative contributions to the topless coffee house naming project and so Crissy is announcing


You have until Sunday night to come up with a name for Crissy’s coffee house and put it in the comments section of either today’s or yesterday’s post. Crissy will make a poll of her favorites and let the Queefs decide on Monday who the winner will be.

And then the winner will be announced on Tuesday.

And what is the prize you ask?

Well it’s one of these of course!

Or something a lot like it depending on what Crissy is able to get her hands on.

So put your thinking caps on Queefs and get those creative juices flowing!

(just don’t get any on Crissy. She’s had her fill of juices as of late.)

(EW! Who said that? That’s disgusting!)

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  1. hold on a minute–didn’t i JUST top off your creative juice reserve at 5:45 this morning?

    you’d BETTER be filled.


    ps. buy two of those; i want my own titty-cup for IT staff meetings at the college.

  2. Is it funny or just slightly pathetic that I was finishing my Fiber One bar while reading this?

    btw–for your readers sake:

    3 Fiber One products in a day = more things flowing than you could ever imagine.

  3. If my name was Lou Lou, I would name my coffee house “Lou Lou’s Ladylump Cafe.”

    But my name’s not Lou Lou, so how about “The Titty Bean.”  I think it has a nice ring to it. 

  4. I’m bad at naming stuff, but I hope that this coffee shop will be using all compostable serving things otherwise I’m going to protest. A lot. Do you see what Portland does to me?

    Also, what does the commentluv button means.

  5. melissa, commentluv is supposed to go back to the comment poster’s blog and pull up the title of their latest post.  for an example in action, go see arjewtino’s site, which uses it.

    however it’s being a bastard and i’m still fighting to make it work properly here.  when i’m not working on neon signs, of course.

    i wonder if  you can get away with women squirting their own milk into the coffee, or if that will break some food service statute?  it could be an extra-cost option for the lactophiliacs.

  6. I stumbled upon your blog while reading the winners of blogger’s choice awards. I appreciate your attempt to be funny. You are such a beautiful gal who writes well. It would be awesome to see your talents used in a more positive way where you could truly make a difference in this world.

  7. A Spaceballs reference is always great.

    Mother’s Milk

    The Topless Bean

    Coffee and Poitrine (French word for breast)

    Half Naked Coffee

    Tops Off Coffee

    Coffee and Cream

    Nippin’ for a Cup

  8. Bare Baristas
    Cafe au Naturel
    The Center Perk
    Perky Cups
    Stripped and Brewed
    Bare Brews
    Java Jugs
    Two Lumps and Cream
    or just
    Two Lumps

  9. How about:
     Bra-iesta’s .. hmm.. too hard to say correctly to be funny.
    Crissy’s Cuppies
    Breast and Bean
    Coffee, Boobs and peen leaf

    And someone yesterday suggested “Starboobs”.. haha

    Ps. I think you are making a difference Crissy. For f’s sake your the qofe.

  10. I had something witty ready to say and then got whapped in the face with this “I appreciate your attempt to be funny. You are such a beautiful gal who writes well. It would be awesome to see your talents used in a more positive way where you could truly make a difference in this world.” which sucked all of the joy right out of my life.

    It instantly made me think that one of the library ladies has found your blog. 

    FWIW,  I happen to think you ARE making a positive difference in the world.

  11. As one who suffers from Alfuzosin,  I believe you make a contribution to my world.  Your wit and humor always make me pee my paints. 
    A name for coffee shop… twin peeks

  12. I really like Sexpresso that someone suggested yesterday.
    My contributions to the list are Mama’s Rack, Rack o’ Joe, Java Nips.
    Hubby says Cafe Perk.

  13. cream
    cup warmers
    Top Off
    C Cups
    Java John’s
    Woodys (we suppy the coffee you supply the woody)
    GoGo Juice
    Scalded Nipples
    ok I’m tapped out

  14. Mugs ‘n’ Jugs
    Rack ‘n’ Roll (drive thru version)
    Boobs & Beans
    Hot ‘n’ Perky

    *and of course the serving cups would come in A-DD sizes.

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