First Crissy would like to send a shout out to bff Rachel for ending their conversation last night with a solid decision on how many Fiber One products a person can consume in one day and live to tell the tale. Turns out it’s about three and then you’ve gone to plaid.
Anyone who gets that reference–High Five!
Anyone consuming more than three Fiber One products in one day had better wear a helmet or something.
Also, today is Crissy’s 300th post!
Woo. Hoo.
And now Crissy would like to thank everyone for their wonderful and creative contributions to the topless coffee house naming project and so Crissy is announcing
A CRISSYSPAGE BOOBIE CONTEST!!!
You have until Sunday night to come up with a name for Crissy’s coffee house and put it in the comments section of either today’s or yesterday’s post. Crissy will make a poll of her favorites and let the Queefs decide on Monday who the winner will be.
And then the winner will be announced on Tuesday.
And what is the prize you ask?
Well it’s one of these of course!
Or something a lot like it depending on what Crissy is able to get her hands on.
So put your thinking caps on Queefs and get those creative juices flowing!
(just don’t get any on Crissy. She’s had her fill of juices as of late.)
(EW! Who said that? That’s disgusting!)
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i <3 spaceballs!!!!
hold on a minute–didn’t i JUST top off your creative juice reserve at 5:45 this morning?
you’d BETTER be filled.
whore.
ps. buy two of those; i want my own titty-cup for IT staff meetings at the college.
My problem with people getting pregnant…all of a sudden everyone knows exactly what you two did you nasty, naughty people.
Milk ‘n Sugar
OR
Titty Bar
Did you notice the nipples on that mug are fully erect? Means there’s something cold like orange juice in it and not coffee. Just sayin’…
again…
I <3 Boobs.
My fucking head is pounding right now…but I will give this some though and come back with my suggestion.
Is it funny or just slightly pathetic that I was finishing my Fiber One bar while reading this?
btw–for your readers sake:
3 Fiber One products in a day = more things flowing than you could ever imagine.
If my name was Lou Lou, I would name my coffee house “Lou Lou’s Ladylump Cafe.”
But my name’s not Lou Lou, so how about “The Titty Bean.” I think it has a nice ring to it.
I’m sticking with what I came up with yesterday:
Coffee and Creamers or
Cafe a la Jugs
I know, I’m not impressively creative.
good gawd that thing is odd looking
i’m working on an AWESOME sign…
Mother, Jugs, & Bean
It’s Friday; I’ve got nothing.
Cop a Mug.
Oh man, that was bad. Use mine from yesterday. Unless that one sucked too.
I’m bad at naming stuff, but I hope that this coffee shop will be using all compostable serving things otherwise I’m going to protest. A lot. Do you see what Portland does to me?
Also, what does the commentluv button means.
What does it means? Dat dem der comment bu-on.
I eat at least 30 grams of fiber a day.
Take that Dr. Oz!
Outstanding sign. Endless pancakes would be the final perfect touch.
melissa, commentluv is supposed to go back to the comment poster’s blog and pull up the title of their latest post. for an example in action, go see arjewtino’s site, which uses it.
however it’s being a bastard and i’m still fighting to make it work properly here. when i’m not working on neon signs, of course.
i wonder if you can get away with women squirting their own milk into the coffee, or if that will break some food service statute? it could be an extra-cost option for the lactophiliacs.
I stumbled upon your blog while reading the winners of blogger’s choice awards. I appreciate your attempt to be funny. You are such a beautiful gal who writes well. It would be awesome to see your talents used in a more positive way where you could truly make a difference in this world.
A Spaceballs reference is always great.
Mother’s Milk
The Topless Bean
Coffee and Poitrine (French word for breast)
Half Naked Coffee
Tops Off Coffee
Coffee and Cream
Nippin’ for a Cup
one more
A Nip and a Cup or shorten to
Nip Cup Coffee
Bare Baristas
Cafe au Naturel
The Center Perk
Perky Cups
Stripped and Brewed
Bare Brews
Java Jugs
Two Lumps and Cream
or just
Two Lumps
Yesterday I had:
Sip’N Nips
Today I’ve come up with:
Tea & Tits
Coffee “Cups”
Latte Cleavage
Coffee-ola (a play on areola)
Cups & Jugs
I do heart Space Balls, but what about Benefiber???
You’ve got me scared. Especially since the shit’s become a staple in my diet.
I’m eating fiber right now. In the form of macaroni and cheese.
How about:
Bra-iesta’s .. hmm.. too hard to say correctly to be funny.
Crissy’s Cuppies
Breast and Bean
Coffee, Boobs and peen leaf
And someone yesterday suggested “Starboobs”.. haha
Ps. I think you are making a difference Crissy. For f’s sake your the qofe.
I had something witty ready to say and then got whapped in the face with this “I appreciate your attempt to be funny. You are such a beautiful gal who writes well. It would be awesome to see your talents used in a more positive way where you could truly make a difference in this world.” which sucked all of the joy right out of my life.
It instantly made me think that one of the library ladies has found your blog.
FWIW, I happen to think you ARE making a positive difference in the world.
As one who suffers from Alfuzosin, I believe you make a contribution to my world. Your wit and humor always make me pee my paints.
A name for coffee shop… twin peeks
I see I’m way too late to be the first to say Spaceballs, but I still want a high five!
I’ll be trying to think of a good name.
Nude & Brewed (or Brewed Nude)
or Brewed in the Nude
that other chick sucked the life out of me too. fuck.
Did anyone say Nip & Sip yet? Cuz that’s kind of funny.
I really like Sexpresso that someone suggested yesterday.
My contributions to the list are Mama’s Rack, Rack o’ Joe, Java Nips.
Hubby says Cafe Perk.
My Grandpa had one of those mugs. How freaking sick is that??
cream
cup warmers
Top Off
C Cups
Java John’s
TaTas
Woodys (we suppy the coffee you supply the woody)
GoGo Juice
Scalded Nipples
ok I’m tapped out
Suck It
Seriously, would this not be the bestest name ever?!
Mugs ‘n’ Jugs
Rack ‘n’ Roll (drive thru version)
Boobs & Beans
Hot ‘n’ Perky
*and of course the serving cups would come in A-DD sizes.
I think Francis would be a smashing name.
Schmeeb’s.
Also “Suck It” is brilliant. That works for everything.
Yeah, I know it’s over.