Crissy Calls Bullshit in Yet Another Post With The Word Shit in it or Some Variation Thereof.

Every once in a while when Crissy is so bored at work and Lynne is doing something lame like her job and Crissy is desperate for entertainment she goes over to see what her old friend Doocie is up to.

As you Queefs may or may not know, Doocie tried to bite Crissy’s style by getting pregnant right after Crissy did. But HA! Crissy owned Dooce AGAIN (remember she beat her for Hottest Mommy Blogger? Go Queefs!!) because Taco is due in the beginning of June and her baby is due in like the middle of June.

Pppppppbbbbbbbtttttttttttttttt!!!!

And speaking of pregnant posts, you Queefs need to thank Crissy for not posting about her morning sickness or her sore boobies or Girlfriend’s every thought and feeling on the topic of big sisterhood, or her ultrasound pictures, or what her doctor said about caffiene (sadistic asshole), and the myriad of boring bullshit that Crissy could torture you with but doesn’t because many of you are twentysomethings and babies aren’t even on your radar yet.

Crissy knows you don’t really give a rat’s ass and so you’re welcome.

Crissy will post about pregnant stuff when something worth discussing comes up.

Like she’s doing today.

And like she will do when she goes shopping for maternity pants. It will be fraught with disaster just like any other pants shopping excursion only maternity pants are hideous and you Queefs will love it.

But anyways, so when Crissy went over to read up on Dooce’s latest fascinating escapades she found a picture of Doocie’s “pregnant” belly. It was taken at like 15 weeks or something like that. Crissy wasn’t really paying too much attention but it looked very much like this:

And she’s all “I can’t believe how much I’m showing already!!!”

And Crissy is all “WHAT????”

Now you’ve all seen Crissy in the nakeds (oooo…wait! Crissy AND The Nakeds would be a great band name! We should start a band!) and so you know Crissy is not a large person and in fact was six weeks pregnant when that naked picture was taken so it’s not like Crissy has weight issues.

But seriously?

Crissy may have looked like that when she was five minutes pregnant but at ten minutes pregnant Crissy’s belly looked like this:

That is not a picture of Crissy, FYI.

It could be the wine bloat water retention that made Crissy’s belly look big but come on now!

Crissy is calling bullshit on Doocie.

BULLSHIT!

She had to be sucking in.

Had. to. be.

Oh and there’s another poll for today.

The people seem to like them.

Crissy should start a band and call it

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Or is that just Crissy who likes the polls?

Should we do a poll to find out?

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36 comments

  1. Hey, I saw that preg pic! Hmm…

    I tried to avoid materniy pants like the plague when the time came.  I even incorporated rubberbands but we won’t go there this morning about how dangerous that can be, what with all the potential eye takeouts I could have caused.

    Crissy and the Speculums ???

  2. THANK YOU.

    “you Queefs need to thank Crissy for not posting about her morning sickness or her sore boobies or Girlfriend’s every thought and feeling on the topic of big sisterhood, or her ultrasound pictures, or what her doctor said about caffiene (sadistic asshole), and the myriad of boring bullshit”

  3. Many thanks for not regaling us with “Tales From the Pregnancy Zone”… although I am sortve intrigued as to Girlfriend’s thoughts on big sisterhood.

    A friend of mine had her second child when her first was about 3.5.  When T was asked how she liked having  a baby sister her response was to point into the distance and say “There are no bears in those trees…”  a phrase which has now become infamous in that circle of friends and is used whenever we want to change the subject…

  4. Ooo, a band!  What a cool idea!  “Crissy and the Nakeds!”  And it would be all hot girls wearing tight little outfits and driving around in a  cool van and having all kinds of wacky adventures … oh, wait … I’m flashing back to Saturday morning cartoons again.

    It would still be cool though.

  5. Ha!  Love it and absolutely agree.  I am planning on getting pregnant soon and looking at Dooce’s pregnant stomach that is flatter than my regular one made me want to bitch slap her through the monitor. 

  6. Down with Dooce. And I don’t mean literally (because I’m not mean like that) … but, you are far superior to her. I read her blog for all of three minutes and got so sick of that ego of hers that I stopped. I like your big ego way better.

  7. I like baby talk. But only because I don’t have one. And Crissy and the Nakeds was my favorite until I read Crissy and the Speculums. Now I don’t know.

    And Crissy – you make me laugh. Always. And you care enough to read back about us and that makes you uber spectacular – so no worrying about what Dooce is doing. Plus, I think my new diet might maybe someday make my tummy look like I’m six months pregnant instead of eight. And I won’t be taking pictures of it and calling myself fat.

  8. Eegads! I read my blogs out of order today. I read your blog first, and I’m reading it second today but Chris sent me an email and so I read his first. I’m sorry.

    Anyway, if Dooce decides to give up that horrible blond hair/ black eyebrow combo, which makes her look like a muppet, then I will have a shred of respect for her again. Til then, snooooooooooze.

  9. I just went over to see her too.  That is unfuckingbelievable to me.  AND!!! She’s LOST WEIGHT!!!

    I had the “crippling nausea” too but I still managed to gain 2 lbs.

    That’s it!  I’m posting my belly tomorrow because people need to see what a normal pregnancy looks like.

  10. yeah, you would have hated me when I was pregnant.  I was tiny.  
    I think that my in-laws are eager for me to get pregnant again since they all got fat after their second kid and they can’t wait for me to get fat.  They forgot to take in the fact that they eat horribly and never exercise, but yeah it was the baby’s fault…..

  11. Does crippling nausea walk with a cane or is that just crippled nausea?  As for not turning this into a mommy blog replete pregnancy updates and the like, thank you.  No, really, THANK YOU!  And they day you ever write a sappy, sobby, self-indulgent letter to Girlfriend or Taco on your site is the day I will hop a train to RI and bitch slap you.  Pinky promise.

    BTW, did you ever consider the possibility that Taco might be a girl?  You could then name her Taco Belle.  Just a thought.

    And ANOTHER thing, I think it should be Crissy and the Nekkids.

  12. And being preggers and not likely to be offended when I ask this question (unlike all the other pregger women I ask) why is it that pregnant women wear baby t’s that expose their rapidly expanding womb, bikinis, and supa tight t-shirts when pregnant?   No one wants to see that!

  13. Oh, how Dooce drives me nuts! I mean does she really think people are dying to see her pregnant pics – she’s just posting them to say look how skinny I am!! And she’s totally sucking it in – my sister has this weird hormone thing that caused her to lose weight when she was pregnant and she still had a bigger belly than Dooce.

  14. We need to start our own anti BlogHer and everyone who hates Heather Armstrong and Kath Eats can come and get all drunk with us.

    Plus strip clubs.

    Obviously.

  15. “And speaking of pregnant posts, you Queefs need to thank Crissy for not posting about her morning sickness or her sore boobies or Girlfriend’s every thought and feeling on the topic of big sisterhood, or her ultrasound pictures, or what her doctor said about caffiene (sadistic asshole), and the myriad of boring bullshit that Crissy could torture you with”

    THANK YOU!!

  16. Crissy, I want to thank you for not posting about all those things you haven’t been posting about. Especially the sentimental parts. And also the banal parts. Pregnancy is great and everything, but it’s not for everyone, and not everyone is fascinated by all the details. So, I truly appreciate that the Queen has seen fit to spare her queefs the offending parts, and it is a testament to Her good taste and literary sensibilities.

  17. Thank you for sparing us the general details of every-single-pregnancy related thing.

    I am WICKED happy for you – but I’d stab my eyeballs out. Because I’m weird.

  18. Thank you. I don’t have kids but I already know too much, thanks to my sister having two children within 26months.

    May I also say that you appear to be far more fashionable than She Who Shall Not Be Named? I have learned this through blog-lurking. (where I read things, but cannot think of anything clever to comment with).

  19. “And speaking of pregnant posts, you Queefs need to thank Crissy for not posting about her morning sickness or her sore boobies or Girlfriend’s every thought and feeling on the topic of big sisterhood, or her ultrasound pictures, or what her doctor said about caffiene (sadistic asshole), and the myriad of boring bullshit that Crissy could torture you with but doesn’t because many of you are twentysomethings and babies aren’t even on your radar yet.”

    Very funny!

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