The Most Random Crap You’ve Ever Read

So yeah. Wow.

Christmas and New Year’s are done and we can finally get back to normal around this place. Girlfriend is totally pissed off that she has school today and Crissy is totally pissed off that there’s a one hour delay due to ice covering every damned inch of everything and don’t you know this is the one time when Crissy said “fuck it” and didn’t put her car in the garage?

So now Crissy will be chipping ice for an hour this morning and she’d better get to work because although Girlfriend has a one hour delay, Crissy does not and that means Crissy has to bring Girlfriend to work with her.


Oh. Wait. It is icy. A car just slid right thorough the stop sign at the end of Crissy’s street.


Anycrap, since it’s Monday and everything Crissy has a little business to take care of because everyone knows that Monday is for getting shit done and if it’s not done on Monday you may as well forget about it and leave it for next week because are you really going to feel like doing it on Tuesday?

Hell no and fuck Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday too while you’re at it.

So first off Miss Kiala has clearly been stalking Crissy and she’s got the video to prove it!

Check this crap out Queefs!

And don’t forget to show the girl some love while you’re at it. Don’t be rude.

And then remember how Crissy was all about the posterior last week and everything? Well she never thought anyone would read anything because you about mention the word “holiday” to the internet and everyone runs away for a week or more, but Crissy’s readership was very, very, BIG (even though nobody commented. Thanks!). It was bigger than ever and it’s all because of this story she wrote for Ben about the time she had a little too much of the drinkie and made a pee in Suzi’s bed. Apparently, someone who really digs that sort of thing read the story and shared it with a bunch of other people who really dig that sort of thing and they all came to read it! Even though Crissy and Suzi did not make Sexy Time and then pee on eachother, they thought the story was pretty special just the same.

Well shucks you guys, thank you and I hope some of my dirty little, naughty little Queefs clicked the link and came to see you too.

And Don’t. Worry. Crissy doesn’t judge you because you like pee and sometimes poop. You can do anything that does not involve little children and Crissy will not look at you with her Judgy Judgington eyes.

All that much.

But could somebody please explain this fetish to Crissy because while she thinks shit is funny, she certainly doesn’t find it Sexy.

Stoogie? Mister?


But then there’s a lot of stuff Crissy does not find sexy but other people do.

Like, what up with this for example?

Wait. Crissy feels a poll coming on…

Brad's new mustache is...

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  1. After seeing Benjamin Buttons I wandered around old folks’ homes in the hopes of finding someone that was aging backwards to look like Brad Pitt.

    I found one guy that was going to look like Andy Dick so I just smothered him with a pillow.

    Seriously, it was for the best….

  2. so…this peeing thing…I think after changing diapers and wiping myself for 34 years it’s lost it’s sexy.
    don’t. get. it.

  3. I don’t think getting peed on is sexy. The Dead Guy used to do it all the time while he was dead asleep. Like sleeping with a three year old. Not sexy.

  4. Oh, the pee questions, but what about the ice? What about Crissy sliding through a stop sign going to work? Does Girlfriend ever make it to school? So many questions left hanging.

  5. I peed on an ex-boyfriend once. He thought it was sexy, I thought it was disgusting. We figured out after that our relationship wasn’t meant to be. 

  6. Sweetheart you never change and that is a great thing to see. Sorry I have not been by in a while. I have some stuff to deal with. But Ihave been keeping tabs on my favorite female insane blogger.

    You still crack me up.

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