Just in Time for Christmas!

What kind of fuckery is this Queefs?

Crissy is sick and snotty and sore throaty and uncontrollably sobby and don’t forget fucking pregnant on top of it and she’s pissed off.

And she had a whole ‘nuther post about some of her favorite holiday treats, gin, cocaine, lube all planned out in her head but her funny has liquefied and turned to snot and so instead she’s going to share with you a list that she and Lynne made at work yesterday over emails because they couldn’t think of anything better to do.

You don’t expect them to like, do their jobs do you?


Silly Queefs.

So here.

Self-Help Books we think should be available to the good people of Schmuckytown

Colonoscopy Preparation for Dummies
Telling Your Co-Worker You’re a Tranny for Dummies
Itchy Assholes for Dummies
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Home Dildo Making
The Beginners Guide to Online Pornography
How to Make Amateur Porn in Your Basement
Hydroponic Marijuana Farming for Dummies
How To Shave Your Ass and Other Hygiene Conundrums
Complete Idiot’s Guide to Drug Trafficking
Armed Robbery for Dummies
Helicopter Maintenance and Repair for Dummies
What You Should Know Before You Fuck Your Dog
Necrophilia for Dummies
Quick & Easy Meth Lab Start-up Guide (with bonus fire extinguisher)
Human Remain Disposal for Dummies
How To Smack Your Bitch Up The OJ Way (leather gloves included)
Carjacking for Fun and Profit
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Satanic Ritual Killings
The Pedophile’s Guide to Candy Making
Don’t Lick That! A Guide to Sex During an Outbreak
Nipple Piercing for Dummies (with bonus 32 oz. peroxide)
Pimpin’ made EZ

So yeah.

That’s the best Crissy has for today. Maybe she’ll post tomorrow but she’s not sure because it’s Christmas Eve and shit and nobody will be around but Crissy will be because she has to work because she is pathetic and downtrodden.

SO who’s going to be here tomorrow?

Show of hands…

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