Remember how last year Crissy went shopping at The Wal Mart for some great gift ideas to make fun of what the poor are buying each other this year help you all with your shopping?
Is there anything Crissy does that you don’t remember, Queefs?
Good.
Anyways, Crissy and Mister and Girlfriend went back there with the soul purpose of finding another list of gift suggestions and also to pick up Girlfriend’s Christmas pictures that you can have printed out over there and you know what we found?
A whole lotta nuthin’.
It was very disappointing.
It was all bath stuff really and an assortment of electric toothbrushes. Apparently the message they’re trying to send this year is “You fucking people stink. Take a fucking bath Wal-Mart shoppers! Oh, and take a power tool to the shit on your teeth while you’re at it.”
And Amen!
This is a message that is long overdue if you ask Crissy.
But we took a few pictures anyway because why the hell not?
Is it me or do the Bratz dolls just look like ghetto skanks to you?
Is this what we really want to teach our girls to emulate?
(Crissy wants one for Christmas anyway because imagine how a Bratz could add to the Barbie situations! RIGHT? Huh??? You see the potential here too, right Queefs?)
And Crissy made a funny of this one last year, but this year we wound up buying not one but two of these little gems. One for Girlfriend and one for Alena because “Alena will love that mom. She’ll just go crazy for it.”
And this is more glamor than Crissy thinks she can handle.
A Fortune Telling M&M?
Crissy predicts a fat ass for the recipient of this lovely and classic gift.
Britney Spears Curious perfume…
Hmmmm…Crissy is curious about a lot of things too there Brit-Brit.
Like how is it possible that she can have any sort of a career left after all the fuckery she pulled? Are we supposed to forget about the umbrella incident and the head shaving incident and the punani flashing incident?
And does crazy even have a smell?
Watermelon Hubba Bubba perhaps?
And this post is going to end rather abruptly because Crissy woke up late and Girlfriend has been in and out of the room interrupting her every three seconds and it’s time to take a shower and haul her ass to work and Girlfriend to school so happy Wednesday.
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My mom gets my brother and I a jelly bean-pooping reindeer every christmas. And a bunny for easter. It’s really weird and the jelly beans are yucky.
StarryGift | Wedding gifts and collectibles of Chinese and Western styles…
Nice post. Thanks for sharing….
carzy does have a smell…
The scent of tequila + stomach acid + cocaine + Hair Dye= Curious perfume. You too can smell like a rock star.
One of the girls I used to live with was OBSESSED with that pooping reindeer. Then again, it exactly doesn’t surprise me that her favorite gift is the same as a small child’s.
..and oddly enough, the smell of Curious actually reminds me of my first grade teacher.
I’m pretty sure the Bratz line has gone into bankruptcy or gone to jail or something. I swear I heard it. Most likely because other parents also agree they look like ghetto skank whores.
I was obsessed with those glamour kits when I was a kid. And my mom wouldn’t buy them for me. She was mean.
It’s a good thing we weren’t doing gifts in our office this year. There’s a lot of people who would have wound up with that pooping reindeer.
Get pen and paper
Go to Etsy.com
Type in “vagina”
Get lost in all the amazing hand made vagina gifts out there
Write the dirtiest christmas list to Santa EVER
I heard the same thing about Brats line of dolls. Snatch them up while you can!
I meant to finish…crazy does have a smell. Enter any elementary school the week before vacation.
I think Curious smells like stale cheetos and spilled 7Up.
Or baby whores.
I haven’t been to Wally World in forever. The one nearby skeeves me out. The customers take their fashion tips from the Bratz Doll, <i>You too can look like a skanky ho’” handbook and I’m afraid my Gap Khakis and button down shirts will cause a riot.
You better get your Bratz dolls quick because come February, they’re off the shelves. Mattel suid… and won. Wait.. suied? What the fuck is the correct spelling?! Why can’t I think?
Oh.. and Curious?
Stinks. A lot.
To pimp that pooping reindeer, toss the crappy jelly beans and fill with Dr Pepper flavor Jelly Belly brand ones. Truly a pooping reindeer fit for the QOFE.
The Super Duper Reindeer Pooper is just pure awesomeness. I think I may just go ahead and purchase several of them, gift wrap them and give them to all my loved ones.
They will appreciate.
Oh and yes, Bratz are most definitely skank whores although Britney still has them beat. Ooooo I went there!
Is it just me or do the combination of ALL of these gifts just scream crack whore? The Bratz dollz – to emulate. The pooping reindeer for after you get in in the ass. The make-up, just for the blue eyeshadow at the least. The fortune teller, because that’s how they make decisions. And Brit’s perfume? The topping on the cake that is crack whore. I love you Crissy.
I’m with you – Brintney is still as crazy as ever, it’s only a matter of time before she does something nuts again.
Crazy smells like just like money. Big giant bags of money. And your plastic surgeon’s anesthetic of choice. Just ask Michael Jackson.
Really, nobody want their kids to grow up to be like Barbie. I mean, she has no nipples. Bratz are rock starz! And Bratz not only have nipples, they have a full line of nipple-piercing accessories.
While everyone is right that Barbie kicked some Bratz ass in court, you will still be able to buy the accessories like the Bratz Meth Lab® after the dolls run out.
some interesting facts about wal-mart:
1) they do NOT carry chia-pets!???!! OMGWTF?!?
2) their photo printing service is surprisingly good/fast/cheap, though it does vary by store.
3) they have frozen sausage patties that make for excellent sausage mcmuffins.
4) they don’t give a shit if you take pictures in the store (some do).
I’ve never been to a Wal-Mart.
Seriously.
Is it magical?
Crissy (and pimp): I finally figured out the video screens on the big Hotel Casino Resort next door. Come on by and take a look.
I was at Wal*Mart today and I did not see a crapping Reindeer!! WTF?! I know just who to give that to! People I know who talk shit! It has hidden meaning! I must find it!
And no worries if you get your kid a Bratz doll. My 8 year old has them and she has no idea what a skank is. LOL! It’s the adults who call the dolls ho’s and stuff. Little girls just see the dolls as cooler than Barbie and rock stars with fab outfits. But yes, they have to pay millions to Barbie and pull them off shelves after the holidays. Look for Barbie to either reclaim it’s glory by running a similar line, or for the old Bratz people to make a new doll line called Fabz, Coolz or some other shit with a “z” in it…
Must…have…the reindeer pooper.
I don’t necessarily think the gift of bath stuff = the thought that the recipient’s hygiene is lacking. Maybe it means that the giver knows that the recipient likes to take luxurious hot baths whilst reading smutty books but the giver cannot afford the Treasures of the Sea $50 a tablespoon bath salts. I’d love to get ANYTHING from LUSH for any gift-giving occasion. And if smelling horrendous on occasion might get me some more LUSH, I will consider that offending myself (and others) for more LUSH is, ultimately, a GOOD thing.
Curious makes me curious why anyone would want to smell like that… maybe Brit wants to be hosed down on a regular basis? Just a thought… (which sounds a lot naughtier than I meant it to)
did someone say “golden shower for britney???”
If Bratz was real I would so..
Actually I’m not going to finish that thought.
Just like Crissy, Britney can do no wrong.
Watermelon gum = barf. So, yes. It does equal crazy. Just so you know.