And when Crissy got home from the Sexy Party she handed Mister the catalog and we went through it for shits and giggles because we’re really not in the market for anything right now and we came across stuff that made us laugh like we’re 13.
Like the Remote Control Panties.
And of course they have multiple uses outside the bedroom. For example, they can be put on your husband at dinner parties and when he says something inappropriate you can give him a little buzz to shut him up. Of course, any dinner party that the Crissys attend it will be Crissy’s mouth that gets her in trouble and she would wear them but Mister is hardly one to judge what is appropriate and what is not.
So they wouldn’t work for the Crissys because neither one of us has any idea about appropriateness which is probably why nobody ever invites us to dinner.
And can you imagine wearing the Butt Buzzer at a dinner party?
Hostess:“Is someone’s cell phone buzzing?”
Recalcitrant guest:“Oh no. That’s just my ass!”
And Crissy wants to know who came up with all the zoological names:
The Rabbit Habit, The Rabbit Dancer, The Wiggle Rabbit
The Throbbin’ Robin
The Butterfly, The Butterfly Kisses
The Finger Frog
The Mystical Dragon
and Crissy’s favorite The Ultimate Beaver
And then we found this which Crissy has certainly seen before but never thought about how totally silly it is until we encountered it in the catalog:
It’s the Lickety Split and can you picture the person you do Sexy Time with coming at you with this thing on?
It’s way more fun to picture your boss wearing it while you’re sitting in a meeting with him/her.
Try to get that shit out of your head now.
So Crissy and Mister agreed that a better use for the Lickety Split is to just strap it on and drive around wearing it.
And so we consulted our friend Richard who is a lawyer and he looked it up and it does not appear to be illeagal in RI to drive around wearing a chin strap dildo.
And this is perfect because Crissy and Mister have been looking for a new caper.
We never do capers anymore.
So we’ll probably get one and give it whirl.
Of course there will be video you silly Queefs.
OMG!!! I almost forgot! Go see Crissy’s dream date with Ben! Crissy just hopes he can recover quickly because we are so going out again!
- Crissy is posting in the middle of the afternoon? This is MADNESS!!!
- The Bunny Chronicles
- Riding in cars with boys -OR- Mister wants to put in a rear facing car seat just for me.
- Like, totally.
- A blind lady, a pokey cane, a pregnant chick, a cute little girl, and a blown out Leonardo Di Caprio walk into Target