Thanksgiving: A Retrospective

Crissy debated about whether or not to post today but she figured what the hell.
There must be some sorry and unfortunate Queefs just like Crissy out there that have to work today so Hi!! Sorry you’re at work today but don’t cry. Crissy is at work today too.


Anywho, for the five of you who will perhaps be around to read this, Crissy had a lovely thanksgiving and when she got on her Wii Fit this morning to weigh herself it pretty much screamed “holy fuck woman! How much did you eat yesterday??”

Apparently, Crissy’s mommy’s green bean casserole made Crissy gain 3lbs in one day. Also, Crissy had 1/2 glass of wine which she nursed all day and she is sure some of that weight is from wine bloat.


Crissy’s body is not used to the wine anymore and so immediately processed it into fat.

That and the casserole and the chocolate cream pie and the orange blossom pie and the pumpkin pie and the hazlenut cake.  And it did not stop her from having the same for breakfast this morning.  People are starving out there.  Who is Crissy to let a perfectly good chocolate cream pie go to waste?

She’s nobody Queefs.  Nobody.


Crissy about had to driven to work on a flat bed this morning.

People thought Sea World was doing an exhibit at the library.

They tried to buy tickets to see the baby whale being born. They were bummed to find that it was really just Crissy getting out of her car in a puddle.

Anyway, here are some pictures:

Crissy’s dining room table:


Crissy standing next to her dining room table.


Crissy would like to say that she is glowing from Taco, but really she’s just thinking about the fucking pathetic 1/2 glass of wine she’s planning on having.

Crissy and her mommy and Girlfriend.


The whole family (Mister’s mama, Mister’s sister with Girlfriend on her shoulders, Mister, duh, Crissy, duh, and Crissy’s mama), minus Mister’s dad, who had a heart attack on Wednesday and is in the hospital but he will be fine Queefs so don’t worry. Also Crissy’s dad and Crissy’s Papa were there but went home by the time this picture was taken.


Mister got a remote control for his camera so now he can take pictures of himself.

Crissy just hopes he remembers to have his pants on.

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  1. Morning Crissy. I’m here at work too. I get to work really early (6:30am!?!?!). It was funny how many people are out and about so early today in this little podunk town. I was all road rage on them though, because I was going to work and they weren’t.

    You have a lovely family, and I’m glad you had a nice time yesterday. And chocolate cream pie is totally healthy. There’s dairy in it and chocolate is actually good for your heart. So you’re good.

  2. Work?!?! Bah. Are there really library-type emergencies happening today?

    We had a great day too, and I had sweet potato pie and apple crisp for breakfast. The lie I am telling myself is that I will burn it off throughout the course of the day. Of course, that only means if I eat NOTHING for the rest of the day.

    Gotta run! Second breakfast is coming soon!

  3. I’m at work too. And I got here at 6 am… and with my lovely hour commute, that means I got up at an ungodly 4:30am. Usually I’m just getting home from shopping at that time, so I’m very sad. Black Friday is wasted for me.

    Btw, your outfit in the pictures in adorable!

  4. 3 lbs is probably water weight but also…HELLO, YOU ARE PREGNANT?

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t people usually gain weight during this time period?

    You look beautiful…and Ken is so tall!

    I had no idea.

  5. You’re pregnant, which means you get to ignore the scale and eat what you crave. Nine months of your life hunny, enjoy it — you know what comes next.

    Also you have a beautiful house. I’m moving in.

  6. Kiala and Melissa- Yes but I gained 60lbs with Girlfriend and I vowed not to let that happen this time. I’m gaining the required amount and that’s it. I had a very deep hole to climb out of last time and it sucked. That said, I will probably gorge myself on the damned pie until every last scrap of it is gone. Fuck it.

  7. i’m irritated with the group picture… it’s slightly back focused. *mad*

    yes, i’m one tall mofo, kiala–6’4″ with shoes. of course, it also helps to be surrounded by five women.

    the house IS beautiful, melissa, which is why we won’t have any money whatsoever for a couple more decades.

    we could put you up on a pullout in the red carpet porno set basement. i promise i won’t watch you on the webcam i don’t have set up down there.

  8. Honey, you are pregnant. Eat whatever the hell you want! At least that’s what I’m going to do when/if I get pregnant. I think that’s the only reason I want to breed…I’m so god damn hungry!

  9. Duuuuude, one day I’ll show you pictures of me preggers with Arch. 60 lbs -hah! I can’t even look at those pictures, too embarrassed. And three years later, I’m still not a tiny thing, but whatevs. Gotta have a little junk in your trunk. You’re so beautiful and tiny and just enjoy your pregnancy. It’s stressful enough without the weight issues.

  10. Also, you need to ignore the scale now that your preggers.

    I know I’ve said this already, but it’s bothering me because you’re tiny.

    Ken– I carry my own webcam, thank you very much.

  11. I’m not working today but that’s because I am all pathetically unemployed. I am sad for those that have to work today, though.

    I am afraid to get a Wii and a Wii Fit because I am afraid it would start screaming that it cannot work with Sumo Wrestlers and cry until I got off of it.

  12. Mister surrounded by the lovely women in his life. Is there anything better?

    And you look gorgeous. My brother and sister in law announced their baby to my family yesterday. There was lots of crying and “let’s eat whatever the fuck we want because SHE’S preganant.”

  13. I’m sure Mister will be having a lot of fun with the remote control for the camera.

    I did not have work yesterday, but if it makes you feel any better, I woke up butt early today and can’t get back to sleep.

  14. I was looking at the picture that includes Mister, and I was thinking “oh – he has his pants on”! And then I read the last sentence.

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