A Vibrating Condom. A Vibrating Condom?

Oh My God Queefs.

Crissy bled money this weekend.

Like, seriously.

She got her hair did on Friday which was like a millionty hundred monies and then she got a bunch of new Mary Kay products from Rachel (hey Rach! Love the new Pink Shimmer!) and she spent plenty on that stuff too and then as if she hadn’t spent enough money on her head she decided to spend even more on her feet.

So she bought a couple of pairs of shoes too.

Oh, and she bought 3 new bras for her tits.

All super cute.

And then on Sunday all the Crissys went to Target for all the bullshit stuff you go to Target for, only to come out with 10 additional bullshit things that seemed like a good idea at the time.

But Crissy loves places like Target and Wal-Mart at Christmas time because they have so many goofy things that make The Perfect Gift and so what she’s going to do this year like she did last year but none of you read it is go through the aisles and pick out her “Crissyspage Best Christmas Gifts for 2008.”

Here are last year’s picks for those of you who aren’t Mister, Rachel, Lynne, or Crissy’s sister-in-law, Cya, who no longer reads Crissy’s blog. Seems to be the trend of late…

Seriously. Where did everybody go?

It’s just us now.

Anyway,

Mister saw a couple of great stocking stuffers like this:

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A vibrating condom.

Huh?

If anyone has tried this, Crissy would like the full report.

Crissy worries about how technology seems to be invading everything. What’s next? Self inserting tampons? With a buzzer that goes off when it’s time for a change?

Actually, that’s a great idea. Somebody get on that.

And Crissy is wondering what Mister was doing in the condom aisle. Crissy and Mister haven’t used one of those bad boys in 13 years. Crissy worries that it might have something to do with this picture because you know how slutty Chinese transvestites are:

true_loveDSC_0681

That’s Mister and aznman of comments section fame this past Halloween. This is what the nerds in the Network and Telecommunications department do with their time. If your email is down it’s because they’re dressing up in costumes and playing grab ass in the hallway.

Just so you know.

Also he found this:
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It’s nut glaze.

Crissy just loves a good glazed nut.

They’re breathtaking.

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39 comments

  1. I just got a veeery scary image in my head of what our IT people are probably doing when they should be getting Outlook to work.

    I knew they were up to something!

  2. Imagine how the vibrating condom in the pocket would totally give away what is hoped for at the end of a nice date – um, is that a vibrating condom in your pocket or are you just happy to see me???

    As for the self-inserted tampons – I don’t need Big Brother invading THAT area of my life just yet. LOL

  3. Did you know that things start on fire in surgery all the time? I don’t know why that came to mind, but the thought of a vibrating condom suddenly bursting into flames in my vagina? Does not make me happy.

  4. I’ve SEEN those vibrating condoms. I’m unsure how they work. I’ve asked Jakki, and she’s TRIED to explain, but I still don’t get it.

    nobody else has asked, so I’ll be my usual nosy self….why doesn’t your sister-in-law read your blog anymore?

    I buy that cheap assed makeup the day after Christmas. I like the brushes……I’m a mineral makeup girl, and wow…I use ALOT of brushes…..mainly for eye shadow, because despite the buffing and tapping? The dark colors really stay in the shadow brush, and like my food, I don’t like my makeup colors to mix. I’m a tad bit anal like that. I give the makeup to my friends that have little girls and let THEM put on the rosy shades of rouge and coral lipstick. It’s fun to watch, and then leave. Quickly.

  5. I want to take Ken shopping next time Ari wants to go. That way we can walk around and find stuff to laugh at while she looks at clothes. Is that cool with you?

  6. a) tried it, wasn’t impressed with the vibrating condom, just weird
    b) mister, shouldn’t crissy get to choose flavor of the glazed nuts? just asking….

  7. Neth- Toffee. Hands down.

    Marie- Oh they SO. ARE.

    Rachel M- Let me know how they work out!

    Neth- Thanks for the video.

    Matt- Chicks buy condoms too! Don’t you think it ironic that they keep them next to the pregnancy tests?

    stealthnerd- I heart Target in a way that’s not even right.

    Narm- I’ll send you some.

    Shelly- The brushes are nice? Really? Huh.

    Chris- Absolutely. As long as it’s okay if Ari and I roll our eyes at you two fools.

    Megkathleen- You first!

    Lynne- You put it on your nuts you silly woman!

  8. I will have to watch that video later, but I think it’s a superb idea and reminds me of my favorite vibrator — the dolphin.

    Sorry, can’t be too graphic this morning, the three year old is next to me and while he can’t read, I don’t want my naughty thoughts polluting his brain.

  9. Melissa- It’s probably too late…

    Kellie- I didn’t get to go to Old Navy but I wanted to!

    Deutlich- Me too! tee-hee.

    Shelly- btw, my sister-in-law doesn’t read my blog anymore because she is very busy and important and does not have time for such things. Also, Mary Kay makes very nice brushes for a good price. I’ve had mine for 4 years and they’re still perfect. Email me for Rachel’s contact info.

  10. Glazed nuts make the trifecta!

    Ken’s Glazed Nuts
    Chef’s Salty Chocolate Balls
    and lest we forget the best…”Schwetty Balls”

    Damn, I hate when you guess your gifts early!

    ps–thanks for pimpin’ me!

  11. Now I know EXACTLY what to get my hairdresser to make up for my indiscretion.

    And nut glaze? Dude, like WHAT?

    You crazy Americans, next you are going to tell me you bake sweet potatoes and put like, marshmallows or something on them….

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