There Crissy was minding her own business standing at the kitchen sink shaking a martooni washing dishes when she heard Girlfriend singing to her play-dough:
“She might make you breakfast and love you in the shower.”
(that was the sound of a record scratching for those of you who don’t dj on the weekends)
She’s singing a Madonna song. All of it.
And Crissy wonders if this is a song she might be singing elsewhere.
Like at Preschool.
Crissy is wondering if she’s made a mistake by letting Girlfriend listen to grown-up music in the car but you have to understand Queefs!
Crissy hates kid music. The only album that’s listenable is The Wiggles Live Hot Potatoes.
or Sesame Street Hot! Hot! Hot!
But the rest is Pure Crap! Do you want to listen to Miss Lila’s Songs for Little Voices?
Crissy sure as shit doesn’t want to either.
But Crissy must have music in the car because it drowns out the sounds of people shouting and honking at her she likes it.
Sometimes we listen to show tunes like from The Sound of Music and Annie and Mary Poppins and A Chorus Line (Dance:10; Looks:3 is our jam) but they can get a little bit old.
Sometimes we just want to rock out and so we listen to Fergie and Cake and Madonna and Duffy and Joss Stone and Nelly Furtado and a few others that Girlfriend and Crissy have deemed mutually acceptable.
And how many Preschoolers do you know can say they learned how to spell B-a-n-a-n-a-s from Gwen Stefani?
Not many Queefs. Not many at all.
This makes Girlfriend quite the hipster.
But Crissy worries that it’s not such a great idea. Crissy thinks she might need something more appropriate for Girlfriend to listen to that won’t make Crissy puke.
And so we’re getting this from the library which will raise our coolness factor pretty much through the roof:
If you think Crissy and Girlfriend are cool now, wait until we get a little J-5 in the old mommy mobile.
You won’t even be able to touch us.