Obama Needs to Call Crissy ASAP

Wow.

Crissy did it Queefs!

By posting that video yesterday she and Girlfriend singlehandedly managed to get Barack Obama elected for President!

WOOT! WOOT!

Three cheers for CRISSY!

Three cheers for GIRLFRIEND!

AND if that wasn’t enough, she was awake to hear Obama’s speech last night and she cried when his little girls came out to join him on stage.

WHAT?

The QOFE has a tender heart.

That and she did not like his wife’s outfit.Β  It was a travesty.

Crissy’s dad and grandfather are distraught. They think Obama is going to turn us all into socialists. “He’s going to turn us into France or Canada!”

OH MY GOD THE HORROR!!!!

But Crissy worries about him a little bit. He’s never had such power before and Crissy thinks he needs to call her for some advice. He needs a mentor, really.

Learning how to be the QOFE was not easy and Crissy still makes mistakes sometimes. Not that she’ll ever admit it. That’s just not what Queens do. We assign blame and pass the buck:

“It is not Crissy’s fault she had to go out and spend the mortgage money on designer bedding. It is Mister’s fault for spilling coffee on the old stuff thereby forcing Crissy’s hand. What was she supposed to do? Sleep on a stained bed? It’s unheard of!”

SEE?

Obama. Call Crissy. We’ll talk.

And maybe poor Obama won’t know what to do with all the paparazzi and requests for interviews and the wild monkey sex with interns and the secret service dudes and oh. my. god. the gifts people are sending him!

He’s going to need some help staying grounded like Crissy.

Even though Crissy is QOFE and Hottest Mommy Blogger 2008 she is still Crissy from the Block. She’s still in touch with her Queefs.

She still shaves her twidget several hairs at a time just like everybody else.

She shits rainbows and strawberry ice cream but she never brags about it because she is awesome like that and she doesn’t want to make the Queefs feel bad.

Now if you’ll excuse Crissy she has to go. The Queef line is ringing and she doesn’t want to keep Barack waiting.

There is much to discuss.

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19 comments

  1. Oh he definitely needs your guidance when it comes to all the things you’ve mentioned. I never even thought of stuff like that!

    And with Girlfriends foolproof voting system of “stupid” and “good”, well there is no way he could not know exactly where you stand on issues.

  2. He needs you. He really does. And Michelle? She needs you even more. If Sarah Palin can spend 150,000 on clothes in a week, then Michelle can too and she needs a personal shopper who knows about fashion and stuff. You can do it, Crissy!

  3. I lost it at you shit rainbows and strawberry ice cream. You truly are the QOFE. That rules. The only way it could be better is if it was swirl instead of strawberry. πŸ™‚

  4. The Liquor Cabinet. Oh too funny Dingo!!!!

    And Crissy? I knew that girls didn’t poo nasty stuff, I just didn’t realize a select few got to poo rainbows and strawberry ice cream. That makes you extra special πŸ™‚

  5. As long as he’s getting his advice from you, I’m okay with him being the leader of the free world. After all, if you were running for president, I would totally vote for you.

  6. Yay Go Obama!

    It was actually a crazy night last night. After me and my boyfriend celebrated Obama’s win in Chi-town, he proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from http://www.idonowidont.com so it was a crazy night in so many ways.

    If you speak to Obama, tell him thanks for getting my fiance to propose to me!

  7. I reeeally wanna say something uber funny and cool but I cannot.think.of.one.thing.

    DAMMIT!

    So i just have to say something really lame like – that was really funny and it made me laugh ….

    oh the comment shame….. sorry……

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