There is something on the news that has been disturbing the crap out of Crissy and it’s very, very, important.
In fact, it is the most important and pressing issue on television right now and it had Crissy awake last night just a tossin’ and a turnin’ wondering what the hell she’s going to do about it if it happens because as your queen it is her job to protect her Queefs even though Crissy fully realizes that the title of QOFE is really just an honorary position and lacks any real authority beyond commanding people to make her Martinis and kiss her tiara and such.
Crissy is not talking about these assclowns being elected:
Crissy has a whole ‘nuther plan worked out if that happens. It goes something like this:
If we all go together, Canada will have to take us.
Crissy is talking about ALIENS.
And not this kind:
Crissy is talking about this kind:
And they may or may not look exactly like this, but don’t be foolish Queefs.
They’re fucking coming.
Crissy knows this because she sees reports about it on the tee-vee and everyone knows that the news people don’t lie. And it wasn’t some cornhole farmer saying “yep. I seen em’ come right there outta the sky and I says to myself ‘what in tarnation is that thang?'”
It was a British Person who said it. And he was wearing a tie.
Crissy trusts anyone with a British accent who is wearing a tie because they are smart. And the Brits sent some fighter planes to go check out the weird blinky lights and they honestly say they cannot identify what they saw, but it was something unusual.
And nobody is talking about it and it’s almost like nobody cares and because of that Crissy thinks she should be President.
Obama doesn’t say shit about what he plans to do about the Aliens when they come to enslave us and put probes in our butts.
We’re on our own Queefs!
And as my running mate I’m going to choose Duchovny.
Crissy has always had a thing for Duchovny.