You know what Crissy hates?
Crissy hates it when she’s awake at 3:00 am being a Nervous Nelly, a Doubting Thomas, a Debbie Downer, a Worry Wart (Crissy hates that expression. It’s gross.) and she has to lay there listening to her bedmates, Mister, Alice and Big Pussy, just doing nighty nights without a care in the world.
And Alice is all “snork, snork, oink!”
And Big Pussy is all “puuuuuuuurrrrrrrr, puuuuuuuuurrrrrr, puuuuuuuuuurrrrrrr.”
And Mister is all “Hooonnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkk.”
And it makes Crissy feel just a little bitter and resentful and homicidal because they’re sleeping and she’s up worrying about Aliens and anal probing and writing ridiculous blog posts in her head exactly like this one and things like that and they’re not and she is very, very tempted to be like
“OH MY GOD!!! FIRE! FIRE!!! WAKE! UP!”
And then when they wake up all panicked and stuff Crissy will play innocent and say “What? I was asleep this whole time. I didn’t say anything.”
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Good luck getting back to sleep ASSHOLES.
- Cock Blocking Since ’05
- Reason number 876 for thinking Mister somehow caught The Gay.
- I got a new plant yesterday. Someone was just giving them away and I took it because I love getting new plants. It’s sort of like getting a new pet, except they don’t piss on the floor.
- Love is in the air!
- If Crissy gets arrested for kid porn, she’ll know she’s gone too far this time.