Crissy May or May Not Care

Remember when Crissy said that she was going to talk about herself in the third person until it bored her?

Well Crissy is not bored exactly, she’s more like addicted to it.

It’s addicting, Queefs. It’s become a habit.

Crissy can’t seem to stop doing it.

And so Crissy might try to stop but then again if you Queefs aren’t annoyed by it then Crissy has no reason to stop even though if you say you’re annoyed by it and Crissy wants to keep doing it she will and she will totally ignore your wishes because Crissy is queen and you are not.

Crissy rather enjoys how when she has Martinis with Queen Elizabeth, Lizzie (that’s what Crissy calls her. She likes her Martinis straight up and dirty.) always uses “we” instead of “me” because her person represents the whole of England and not just herself.

Crissy thinks she might try this out.

“We are going to have a royal bath where we will masturbate and read shampoo bottles. We are not to be disturbed!”


“We do not like macaroni and cheese. It makes us vomit. Take it away at once before we have you neutered!”

Crissy sort of likes that kind of fancy talking.

Anyway, please fill out the form below and tell Crissy if you want her to keep talking in the third person or if you’ve had it up to your crotchals with it already. And Crissy wants to hear from all you dirty lurkers too! That’s right! She sees you and she knows where you live. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP MASTURBATING TO HER MILF PICTURE.

It’s so last Monday!

Also, please be advised that Crissy may or may not actually care what you think. She just wants you to think she cares.

She’s soooo deliciously Machiavellian!


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  1. If I fill out this form, does that mean I have to stop masturbating to the nude MILF picture? Because I can’t. I. Just. Can’t. Stop.

    As long as there is no such precondition, I humbly propose as a loyal subject that you stick with the third person. I love it. It’s that fancy talk that makes you sound all the more royal to us lowly queefs living off your discarded macaroni and cheese.

    Now, back to reliving Monday….

  2. Perfectly Shelly thinks it’s cute, and wishes she’d thought of it first, then realizes she’d never be able to keep it up…it’s too much WORK to think in the third person.

    Obviously, Shelly writes EXACTLY how she talks (oh, the horror) as evidenced by her first foray into the video world of her dogs. And House. And yard. And her trees.

    You’d better grab a glass of wine, though, because even her hubby’s editing couldn’t pare it down to under 11 minutes. Sheesh….she even video’s like she BLOGS. Long and rambling (oh and shaky for those of you that suffer from motion sicknes).

    Therefore, Shelly is totally FINE with Crissy blogging in the 3rd person….because even though sometimes she thinks SHE should be the QOFE, she realizes that being a queef is good enough for her. And it would take way too much thought process to always write like that….as evidenced by the number of times she’s already had to change the 1st person over to the 3rd person in this comment……..

    It’s really HARD, so props to Crissy for doing such a FABULOUS job of keeping her minions entertained!

  3. Given this is my first departure from lurkdom, and I’m not sure how many comments are required to move from the level of peon to queef, I’m not sure if my opinion counts…but I say stick with the fancy talk.

  4. Kristen- Crissy will take that into consideration.

    Ben- Very good, sir.

    stoogie- You have my permission to carry on as you wish with the picture. You’ve earned it. You can even have the ones that didn’t make the cut if you wish.

    Bethie- Very good!

    Shelly- Once you’re in the groove of it, it’s hard to stop!

    Adminerella- You’re darn straight I will!

    k8- Me too! I mean, Crissy too!

    brookem- I got the idea from bossy. She does it and I always loved it.

    JoeInVegas- You make an excellent point, sir.

    Issy- Commenting at all automatically wins you a Queefdom! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    EVERYONE- Look at the ads! Sometimes they are for CHRISTIAN MASTURBATION!!!! Click on it! It’s hilarious!

  5. In my daily job, I write in the third person (I write for others who will sign it as their own). So I’m sort of used to seeing things like “the undersigned finds that” and thinking in the third person. I guess this means I vote for it to continue. It’s sassy and fun, sort of what I imagine the QOFE is like in real life πŸ™‚ (like the kissing up, my queen???)

  6. I luhuv the third person. Keep it, keep it, keep it. Also, christian masturbation. Where is that? I MUST see that! Is it masturbating to Jesus? Hmmm…

  7. If you are going to continue with this whole royal “we” bit, does that mean you have to talk with a British accent and wear a tie?

    Anyway, as a Queefette, your wish is my command. Carry on! I stole that saying from Tim Gunn, I think he’d be a GREAT GBF, don’t you?

  8. stoogepie.. i believe i just got the disclosure agreement.

    expect an email.

    as far as talking about yourself in the 3rd person, this is all i can think about:

    Jimmy walks in

    George: “HEY! JIMMY!!! ha ha ha……..Great game.”
    Jimmy: “OH yeah…….Jimmy played pretty good.”
    George: “Hey you know , I felt we had like a synergy out there,you know, like we were really helping each other.”
    Kramer: “What d’you got there?”
    Jimmy: “These?”
    Kramer: “Yeah”
    Jimmy: “These are Jimmy’s training shoes.”
    George: “Yeah,yeah yeah yeah! I’ve seen these…..they sorta ..they make your legs..stronger.”
    Jimmy: “Oh yeah! Jimmy couldn’t jump at all before he got these. Jimmy was like you (looks at G.)
    Kramer: “They’re Plyometric.(sp?)”
    George: “Plyometric?”
    Kramer: “Yeah! They isolate the muscles. The muscle has to grow….or die.”
    George: (to Jimmy) Wh…Where d’you get’em?”
    Jimmy: “Jimmy sells’em.”
    George: “You sell them?”
    Jimmy: “Oh yeah! But Jimmy’s all out right now. Moving to Manhattan set Jimmy back a bit.”
    George: “Hey listen ,let me give you my card. It’s got my home number on it. I want to buy the first pair when the next shipment comes in.”
    Jimmy: “All right”
    George: “All right Jimmy, good talking to ya.”
    Jimmy: “Jimmy’ll see you around.”

    Jimmy leaves.

  9. I think it helps you detach yourself from your “character” of Crissy so I’m all for it.

    Were we NOT supposed to masturbate to that photo? I might have been a little unclear on the rules.

  10. I say go for it. I talk to/about my boyfr in the third person all the time. That way I can say what I want without it being an accusation – e.g. “You left the seat up again and I fell in!” versus “Boyf left the seat up again. I guess he thinks it’s fun for me to fall in the toilet in the middle of the night. Can you believe him?” Much nicer. πŸ™‚

  11. I honestly didn’t even think about it until you mentioned it just now. But now it’s probably going to bother me. GEE THANKS!!

    Hehe, kidding. I don’t care either way.

    (I’m so decisive.)

    It’s not nearly as annoying as when Suede does it, though.

    The masturbating and reading shampoo bottles thing had me laughing out loud!

  12. Daisy’s Mom is sooooo over it. In fact, she is soooo over it she is not going to visit again until Chrissy is over it.

    Congrats on the Award.

  13. I have been trying all day and never got the Christian masturbation ad!

    I googled it, but it would be so much more satisfying if the QOFE got paid for my interest in Christian masturbation.

  14. Whichever pleaseth Her Majestie is the correct way. I likes ’em both. Third person is a good way to distinguish Our Queen from the riffraff of the blogosphere.

  15. Erin is one of those terrible lurkers that just stumbled upon your page and spent approx. five hours pouring over past entries because Crissy is so damn funny. 3rd person = awesome! keep it up QOFE!

  16. I think you should take it to the next step, start referring to yourself as Crissy the Hottest Mommy Blogger Out There.

    Have I told you lately that I am soooo jealous of you winning that.

    I want to be hot too…..


  17. By all means, keep the “3rd person speak”. It adds to the ambience.

    I didn’t see the Christian Masturbation ads either, but a google search turned up this gem of a website:

    Man, these people can justify anything as long as there is no male gayness involved and as long as it is clear the man has the dominant role in the relationship outside the sex. Apparently female domination is ok if the guy is the boss the rest of the time. And girl-on-girl action is ok, but no boy-on-boy stuff. They cover quite a broad range of sex topics!

    Personally, I think the only justification anyone needs is that any and all partners are willing participants and there are no underage people (or animals!) involved, but if someone needs Bible quotes to make it acceptable I say “go for it”!

  18. Does a first time visitor count as a lurker? (Over here from the Bloggers Choice to check you out)

    Anyway, I’d love to vote…I want to vote, but for the first time in my life I’m going to be one of those bizarre people who tick the DON’T KNOW box.

    Yes, you wondered who these morons were that did that- well, that moron is me. I don’t know yet, I just got here, but I’m declaring my ignorance on a voting form like a moron!

    (BTW am loving there fact that you think British people are smart -ha!ha! The PR is working! – I’m from Scotland- the top bit with the jagged edges)

  19. Crissy should totally keep writing in third person because when this Crissy reads QOFE Crissy’s blog she can pretend that it’s her

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