Believe It.

There is something on the news that has been disturbing the crap out of Crissy and it’s very, very, important.

In fact, it is the most important and pressing issue on television right now and it had Crissy awake last night just a tossin’ and a turnin’ wondering what the hell she’s going to do about it if it happens because as your queen it is her job to protect her Queefs even though Crissy fully realizes that the title of QOFE is really just an honorary position and lacks any real authority beyond commanding people to make her Martinis and kiss her tiara and such.

And no.

Crissy is not talking about these assclowns being elected:

Crissy has a whole ‘nuther plan worked out if that happens. It goes something like this:

RUN!!!!!

If we all go together, Canada will have to take us.

Ahem. Anyway.

Crissy is talking about ALIENS.

And not this kind:

Crissy is talking about this kind:

And they may or may not look exactly like this, but don’t be foolish Queefs.

They’re fucking coming.

Crissy knows this because she sees reports about it on the tee-vee and everyone knows that the news people don’t lie. And it wasn’t some cornhole farmer saying “yep. I seen em’ come right there outta the sky and I says to myself ‘what in tarnation is that thang?'”

It was a British Person who said it. And he was wearing a tie.

Crissy trusts anyone with a British accent who is wearing a tie because they are smart. And the Brits sent some fighter planes to go check out the weird blinky lights and they honestly say they cannot identify what they saw, but it was something unusual.

See?

They’re coming.

And nobody is talking about it and it’s almost like nobody cares and because of that Crissy thinks she should be President.

Obama doesn’t say shit about what he plans to do about the Aliens when they come to enslave us and put probes in our butts.

We’re on our own Queefs!

And as my running mate I’m going to choose Duchovny.

Fox-Mulder-Dana-Scully-Posters-2.jpg

Crissy has always had a thing for Duchovny.

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30 comments

  1. I agree– I need to know where McCain and Obama stand on alien invasions… have you seen I am Legend– I want to know what they’d do in that situation too.

    It’s bound to happen.

  2. I recently watched a movie about Alien Abuction…Night Skies. The opening scence was of Senator John McCain. It was taken from a conference where he was actually talking about the possibility of aliens and invasions. He really believes in them.

  3. well OF COURSE you like the british…

    … they’re already used to worshiping a queen!

    ps. aznman is right–i AM wearing underwear today. and it’s bothering the fuck out of me. it’s all bunched up and constricting my boys something fierce. it feels like there’s a full sized pillow wedged in there.

    i really don’t think i’m gonna make it the whole day.

  4. Well of course you have a thing with Duchovny. Although he has been labeled a sex addict, so play throughs would probably not be allowed.

  5. I think the bigger question is whether or not we should give drivers’ licenses to these aliens.

    Look at her head in that first photo. Sarah Palien, anyone? Come on. Her spawn are named Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow, and Trig. Her self-proclaimed favorite meal is moose stew. Look it up.

    Palien? Absolutely!

  6. would you all think it’s weird if i said melissa lion was a little bit hotter after she suggested ducovny was a little bit hotter because he’s a recovering sex addict?

    i mean I DON’T THINK THAT, but what if i did…

  7. I’m fairly certain that the folks in the first pic are really aliens (and not the good kind) who have ever intent of turning all of us into mindless Joe the Plumbers…

    I will write in my vote for the Crissy/Duchovny team. At least we’d know right off the bat that there would be lots of kink goin’ on in the White House (and could probably count on it being aired in weekly broadcasts on the QOFE Channel!) I, personally, look forward to the press corps trying to figure out what to do with the pantsless Mister pictures that would inevitably ensue!

  8. My god…the hair on Palin’s head HAS to be from another solar system. She’s probably contacting the mothership from a satellite implanted in her “up-do.”

  9. i have a thing for british people in ties…well but they have to be from the 80’s british invasion. and…from a band…particularly duran duran…and particularly simon le bon or jon taylor. and they have british accents and wear ties so…they probably don’t lie.
    did i just ramble? on my first visit here? oops…sorry.

  10. I did tell you about what 4 of us saw in Westport one night last august, did’nt I? And no it wasn’t the Guatemalans. The’re all legal.(I think)

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