A Chance To See Crissy With Her First Bra!

Crissy is sort of taking a day off today but not really because our new bloggy lover, Arjewtino, (Crissy doesn’t know if Arjewtino minds taking a gentile as a lover but I’m sure he’ll let her know) asked her to write a guest post about the humiliations of growing up female. Crissy felt all sorts of special that he picked her for the assignment and it touched her in a very private place and so she jumped at the chance and it only took her like 3 weeks to get around to writing it.

And oh the fun she had! And now she feels like she should go back into therapy but whatever.

It was worth it.

And on another note, Crissy would like to say that the Blogger’s Choice thing is coming to an end and we should know who won very shortly and then Crissy will shut. up. Sadly though, her TOP THREE (!) status has been sending her so much traffic that the webhost cannot handle it.

Fucking pussies. What the hell are they doing over there anyway?

So yeah. Because of all the riffraff coming over here ( Just kidding. Hi new Queefs! Welcome! Enjoy! Just don’t leave your beer bottles and empty dime bags all over the place mmmkay?) Crissy is hard to visit these days.

So come see her over at Arjewtino’s place.

Knock before you come in though.

We might be naked!

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  1. See, your soaring popularity has put Perfectly in that sad, sad state of worry…….worry that with your hugely successful blog, that you won’t remember the little (well, big, but does size REALLY matter??) people? Will you still remember your FRIENDS that loved you BEFORE? Or are you going to get naked with all your NEW friends, and just forget about the old, comfortable people? Leave us in your dust? Only be with us when you are dressed and all formal acting?

    I worry, Crissy, that you won’t be ours anymore.

  2. Shelly- HOW COULD YOU THINK SUCH A THING??? That will never happen. You my Queefs!

    Ben- Everything is going to be okay now.

    Arjewtino- You needed a woman’s touch around that place.

  3. So how do you try to work your blog popularity into conversations with the other preschool moms?

    “Oh yes, Girlfriend did her homework, but I couldn’t help her since I was sitting at the window waving to my fans all evening. Being loved by the masses is hard!”

  4. Crissy! I read your post and wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I hated, hated, hated high school, oh and college, too. But I wasn’t brave like you – I didn’t even go to the prom. I worked at Shopko, so I took a shift that night so I’d feel all purposeful and crap.

  5. You need to do more posts on awkward girl childhood moments. I can definitely relate to some. It’s tough being a girl sometimes, but look at it this way, at least we get to wear pretty things. Boy clothes are just boring.

    I don’t know how I do it, but I manage to always bring up the subject of shopping.

  6. Rachel M- I cannot ever let the other moms know about the blog. They’re my favorite topic!

    k8- Oh it’s such torture isn’t it?

    Neth- You’ve got that shit right.

    Saratogajean- Top three after all that trauma and humiliation! Woot! Woot!

    Matt- Or at least I’ll be modeling a bra…

    Ben- Aw shucks…thank you.

    Marie- I’ve got a good one re: gym class that will knock your sweat socks off.

    Megkathleen- I don’t know if it’s my popularity or that our hosts are a bunch of asshats.

  7. First, I was in a panic yesterday when I couldn’t get here. I thought I’d said something impolitic and had been banished to the cornfield!

    Right there with you for the awkward girl moments. In sixth grade we had scoliosis testing and they didn’t even have a screen so all the other girls found out I didn’t wear a bra (and I was one of 2 in sixth grade that NEEDED to be wearing a bra). I, too, had the gay boyfriend experience. And I think I’ll need ECT treatments if I have to think about gym class.

  8. Based on the comments it appears I’m not the only one who had a freak attack when they couldn’t access your blog — although I might have been the only one who emailed you incessantly asking when it was going to be back up.

    I think that type of dedication and loyalty deserves a special position on the QOFE royal court. I can be the parade organizer. And the Barbie wrangler. I want to be the Royal QEEF. Does that title come with a sash and tiara? At least a teeny tiny one?

  9. Adminerella- Oh the scoliosis test in 7th grade was awful. I was the only one who DIDN’T need a bra!

    Dingo- Oh don’t you worry Ms. Dingo. I’ll hook you up with a nice title and a big tiara and a sash to wear when you teach. The students will be happy to know that their teacher is a Royal Queef.

  10. I stumbled over to your blog from the land of couch cubicle and have been reading-er-working… good stuff! Oh, and if you’re still looking for a halloween costume, one of the funniest i’ve seen in recent years was my friend & her boyfriend as Super Mario & Princess Peach.

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