Crissy is in crisis mode Queefs.
She cannot for the life of her think of a good Halloween costume for this year and so she needs your suggestions.
The Crissys were going to have a little par-tay but as it turns out only half the people can make it on one night and half can make it on the other so we cannot come up with a night where everyone–yes, all 5 of our friends–can make it.
And Crissy can remember a time when they had the. most. wonderful. Halloween parties and Everyone and their gay best friend would come and just fill Crissy’s house with sparkly party people who were high on pot brownies snickers bars and pineapple infused vodka fruit punch. So many people used to come that it was single file only through Crissy’s house and there was always a line for the bathroom.
It was glorious Queefs.
But now everyone has kids and real jobs and are in prison or the witness protection program at least and so now Crissy’s parties are just like…
And people have to be careful not to drink too much so they can get home to relieve the babysitter at a reasonable hour.
So instead of having a party the Crissy’s are going to one thrown by childless people and it will be fabulous like their parties used to be.
But what is Crissy’s costume?
It has to be something Totally Fabulous.
And it can’t be something Crissy has done before.
Crissy, along with our friend Matt have already done the schoolgirl thing:
That would be Mister’s sister, Cya, biting Matt’s boobie.
And Crissy was Holly Golightly one year.
But she did not go lightly. She go-ed hard!
And Mister was Indiana Jones that year too. That’s where Crissy got the whip. Crissy knows Holly Golightly did not have a whip. Don’t be silly!
And a couple of years before that at their old house Crissy was a Naughty Miss Congeniality with a condom stuck to her shoe and her dress tucked into her underpanties and Mister was Pickle Pants Spiderman:
We call him Pickle Pants because he stuffed his crotch with a pickling cucumber.
It’s cold on Halloween. There was shrinkage!
And finally, last year Crissy and Mister were Pam Anderson and Borat:
And that was a lovely costume indeed and Crissy let everyone touch her boobies because they were made of silicone inserts, tube socks and a very padded DD bra.
Crissy was obsessed with them.
But what this year Queefs?
Help Crissy find a costume. And it must steal all the attention away from the party and the onion dip and the little cocktail weenies and onto her because that’s what she really likes…