Oy.
Crissy is really sorry she didn’t comment on your blogs yesterday but she was not at work which is the only place where she is able to read blogs because Girlfriend is very high maintenance. And Crissy was not at work because Girlfriend was terribly, terribly sick.
Yesterday was a real pain in the ass kind of day for your poor, poor wretched Crissy and her poor, poor wretched baby girl who came down with the Monkey Plague and had to be rushed to the doctor because she was wheezing so hard her little chest and belly were heaving from trying to get some air.
And she was coughing so hard she threw up on Crissy’s rug and we had to throw it away.
And the doctor said she was glad that Crissy brought her in because Girlfriend needed a treatment of Albuterol immediately and then would need an inhaler to bring home because The Bronchitis had given her The Asthma or something like that. And so the nurse came in with the drugs and a mask that was spewing cool mist from it and was all “put this over Girlfreind’s nose and mouth” and Girlfriend was all “Oh, Heeelll no.” And she fought and kicked and cried until she couldn’t fight any more and let Crissy put the mask on her but only if the doctor and nurse would go away.
The whole thing was the most terrible ordeal but when it was all over, Girlfriend was able to breathe again for the time being and she felt much better.
And she looked at her doctor and said,
are you ready?
Wait for it…
“That was friggin’ absurd!”
Crissy is a proud mommy today, Queefs.
At least she didn’t say “fuck.”
Similar Posts:
- Fucked in the Eye
- How Funky is Your Chicken?
- This Ain’t From Tiffany’s!!!
- Abby Normal
- Use Lemons to Clean Garbage Disposal, Do Not Break Pyrex.
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:32 AM
let me just go on the record as saying i love my daughter.
what, she wasn’t 100% right that putting a stupid plastic/rubber ventilator mask over her face and making her breathe some weird smelling/tasting substance WASN’T friggin absurd???
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:44 AM
That’s what I’VE had all week long!
They didn’t give me the gas mask though…probably because they don’t care about you unless you’re young and cute.
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:59 AM
absurd!
Girlfriend rocks.
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:25 AM
Friggin absurd! I will add that to my repertoire today…..FRIGGIN’ ABSURD.
Ben, you ARE young and cute…….
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:34 AM
I want to be friends with Girlfriend. Let me know when she gets facebook.
p.s. you probably already know but you’re in the top 3 for the hottest mom blogger. hollllaaaa
p.p.s. I agree with shelly– Ben is young and cute. whammy.
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 AM
Friggin absurd? Girlfriend is being added to my totally awesome hero roster.
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:45 AM
girlfriend is all kinds of awesome.
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:46 AM
Love. Her. Enough said.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:15 AM
Nice answer from Girlfriend! Hope she gets better soon though!
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 AM
I’m disappointed. Talk to me again when Girlfriend learns how to use Fuck appropriately. (Note, I didn’t say talk to me again when Girlfriend learns how to Fuck appropriately.)
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:34 AM
Girlfriend is awesome!
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:40 AM
I used to need one of those nebulizer things when I was her age too, but I was never awesome enough to refer to it as friggin’ absurd. That’s priceless.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:47 AM
HAHA, poor girlfriend!!
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:57 AM
Girlfriend is indeed awesome. I too am proud of her. I give her six months before she instead says, “that was totally fucking recockulous!”
I also didn’t comment on any blogs yesterday! And the similarities do not end there. Most of this week I have been suffering from an acute case of drunkitis, too!
Anyways, Girlfriend needs to carry a blade so folks don’t do her like that. She should have shanked that nurse.
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:14 AM
When does Girlfriend get her own blog? She already has the blog name: That was friggin’ absurd!
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:34 AM
High Fives to Girlfriend! Totally accurate assessment of the situation!
My cats threw up on the carpet… but I didn’t have to throw it away. Yet. I should vacuum the post-hork wreckage, though.
And yeah, I’ll agree with those who have asserted that Ben is indeed young & cute.
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:13 PM
That is awesome. She is a mini-Kristen.
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:37 PM
I know something else in your life that might be termed “friggin’ absurd”…I’m not sure I’m ready for the darkside just yet.
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:44 PM
OOOOHHHHH—-SQUEEEEE——-You are number ONE!!! NUMBER ONE HOTTEST MOMMYBLOGGER!!!! I wonder how many free e-mail accounts Mr. Perfectly got to vote…..sheesh, he really wants that photoshop….or at least that’s what he says……hey…….if he’s doing this to see you NEKKID, I’ll be soooooo pissed……
CRISSY IS NUMBER ONE………WOOT WOOT WOOT!
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:54 PM
OH NO………She’s back to #2–GO VOTE!!
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:25 PM
You are raising Girlfriend well - although, obviously you don’t need me to tell you that. It’s apparent from her a-freakin-mazing vocabulary.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:14 PM
Your daughter is a mini you! PERFECT!
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:26 PM
Yes, sounds like you are raising her properly. Perhaps you could have asked for a matching mask, but with some more appropriate gas.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:52 PM
Awesome. But may I suggest that in future similar situations she might say, “That was totally.not.funny.”
And then hand them my card.
October 4th, 2008 at 6:05 PM
Sorry about Girlfriend
That sounds awful.
I love the title of this post, btw.
“Don’t fuck up the rotation!”
October 4th, 2008 at 11:09 PM
Awww. I hope Girlfriend is feeling better!
October 5th, 2008 at 10:47 PM
Girlfriend ROCKS!!! And I just voted again for the 100th time for Crissy’s blog and it’s showing up as #1. Let’s keep voting so she can win!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 2:56 AM
I suggest you mop the floors. That way she will go arse up and won’t wriggle so much while you try and smother her with that plastic thing.
Sorry. That is what I did.
So you read blogs at work? That is seriously hard core especially if you can read mine. Cause then you must work in a brothel or for the government.